Mr. Naylor, there's no need for theatrics. I'm sorry. I just don't see the point in a...

Senator Dupree: [during the Senate subcommittee] Mr. Naylor, there's no need for theatrics. Nick Naylor: I'm sorry. I just don't see the point in a warning label for something people already know. Senator Dupree: The warning symbol is a reminder, a reminder of the dangers of smoking cigarettes. Nick Naylor: Well, if we want to remind people of danger why don't we slap a skull and crossbones on all Boeing airplanes, Senator Lothridge. And all Fords, Senator Dupree. Senator Ortolan Finistirre: That is ridiculous. The death toll from airline and automobile accidents doesn't even skim the surface cigarettes. They don't even compare. Nick Naylor: Oh, this from a Senator who calls Vermont home. Senator Ortolan Finistirre: I don't follow you, Mr. Naylor. Nick Naylor: Well, the real demonstrated #1 killer in America is cholesterol. And here comes Senator Finistirre whose fine state is, I regret to say, clogging the nation's arteries with Vermont Cheddar Cheese. If we want to talk numbers, how about the millions of people dying of heart attacks? Perhaps Vermont Cheddar should come with a skull and crossbones. Senator Ortolan Finistirre: That is lu - . The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese! Senator Lothridge: Mr. Naylor, we are here to discuss cigarettes - not planes, not cars - cigarettes. Now as we discussed earlier these warning labels are not for those who know but rather for those who don't know. What about the children? Nick Naylor: Gentlemen, it's called education. It doesn't come off the side of a cigarette carton. it comes from our teachers, and more importantly our parents. It is the job of every parent to warn their children of all the dangers of the world, including cigarettes, so that one day when they get older they can choose for themselves. I look at my son who was kind enough to come with me today, and I can't help but think that I am responsible for his growth and his development. And I'm proud of that. Senator Ortolan Finistirre: Well, having said that, would you condone him smoking? Nick Naylor: Well, of course not. He's not 18. That would be illegal. Senator Ortolan Finistirre: Yes, I've heard you deliver that line on 20/20, but enough dancing. What are you going to do when he turns 18? C'mon, Mr. Naylor. On his 18th birthday will you share a cigarette with him? Will you spend a lovely afternoon - like one of your ludicrous cigarette advertisements? You seem to have to have a lot to say about how we should raise our children. What of your own? What are you going to do when he turns 18? Nick Naylor: If he really wants a cigarette. I'll buy him his first pack.

that cigarettes aren't dangerous... Mr. Naylor. There's no need for theatrics. Sir, I just don't see the point in a warning label for something people already know. The warning symbol is a reminder, a reminder of the dangers of smoking cigarettes. Well, if we want to remind people of danger, why don't we slap a skull and crossbones on all Boeing airplanes, Senator Lothridge? And all Fords, Senator Dupree? That is ridiculous. The death toll from airline and automobile accidents doesn't even skim the surface of cigarettes. They don't even compare. Oh, this from a senator who calls Vermont home. I don't follow you, Mr. Naylor. Well, the real demonstrated number one killer in America is cholesterol, and here comes Senator Finistirre, whose fine state is, I regret to say, clogging the nation's arteries with Vermont cheddar cheese. If we want to talk numbers, how about the millions of people dying of heart attacks. Perhaps Vermont cheddar should come with a skull and crossbones. That is lud... The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese. Mr. Naylor, we are here to discuss cigarettes. Not planes, not cars... cigarettes. Now, as we discussed earlier, these warning labels are not for those who know, but rather for those who don't know. What about the children? Gentlemen it's called education. It doesn't come off the side of a cigarette carton. It comes from our teachers, and more importantly, our parents. It is the job of every parent to warn their children of all the dangers of the world, including cigarettes, so that one day, when they get older, they can choose for themselves. I look at my... son who was kind enough to come with me today, and I can't help but think that I am responsible for his growth and his development. And I'm proud of that. Well, having said that, would you condone him smoking? Well, of course not. He's not 18. That would be illegal. Yes, I-I heard you deliver that line on 20-20, but enough dancing. What are you going to do when he turns 18? Come on, Mr. Naylor. On his 18th birthday, will you share a cigarette with him? Will you spend a lovely afternoon, like one of your ludicrous cigarette advertisements? You seem to have a lot to say about how we should raise our children. What of your own? What are you going to do when he turns 18? If he really wants a cigarette, I'll buy him his first pack. Thank you for your testimony, Mr. Naylor. You're excused. I'll meet you outside, okay? Great. Well done, my boy. Were you in the same room as me? The whole personal choice thing? They ate that shit up. Just checked the whip count. That bill is going down in flames. Your speech was unorthodox, but you did it, boy. You crushed the fucker. That's good news for you guys. Oh. Whoa, whoa. We're still a team, right? What about damage control? Look, Nick. Winston-Salem is ready to do whatever it takes to keep you on board. Nick, will you continue fighting for cigarettes? Of course he will. This man here is our general. We're not just gonna let him retire. Is that correct, Nick? You're sticking with tobacco? Now, I know what you're probably thinking. What a great opportunity for me to teach Joey how to use leverage against a backstabbing boss. But I actually meant what I said about responsibility. Some things are just more important than paying a mortgage. So I did the only responsible thing I could. I turned down the job. And my timing couldn't have been better. Within a few months, the cigarette companies settled with the American smoker to the tune of $246 billion. And the Academy of Tobacco Studies was permanently dismantled. For the first time in decades, BR found himself out of work. Otherwise, not much has changed. The MOD squad still meets every week. Nice. We even added a few new members. The things I could learn from you, Bobby Jay. Right. Stick around. Stick around. Senator Finistirre is still fighting for his causes. What do you say to the people who claim you are destroying cinema classics? Mmm, no. All we're doing is using digital technology to tastefully update movies of the past by removing cigarettes. I believe that if these stars were alive today, they would agree that we're doing the right thing. But, in essence, aren't you changing history? No, I think we're improving history. Even Heather is still reporting. The whole town has been evacuated. They're calling this the storm of the century. Not much changes at all. And this year's Foggy Bottom Debating Society Champion is Joey Naylor. Yay! Yay! Joey! Joey! Joey, Joey! That's my boy. Hold it up. Hold it up. And me? Well, there's still a place for guys like me. So, be straight with me. Is it true? It could be. Come on. We know of very few cases. There's no scientific proof at all. It's really a complicated situation. Gentlemen, practice these words in front of the mirror. "Although we are constantly exploring the subject, "currently, there is no direct evidence "that links cell phone usage to brain cancer." Michael Jordan plays ball. Charles Manson kills people. I talk. Everyone has a talent. ♪ Some people say I'm a no count ♪ ♪ Others say I'm no good ♪ ♪ But I'm just a natural-born travelin' man ♪ ♪ Doin' what I think I should ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ ♪ Doin' what I think I should ♪ ♪ And I don't give a damn about a greenback dollar ♪ ♪ Spend it fast as I can ♪ ♪ Oh, a wailin' song and a good guitar ♪