Fine! Well, Colonel, my ancestors crossed the Plains in the first covered wagon. If you...
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Farnsworth:
[On the phone, posing as a fictitious Southern reporter for a non-existent newspaper]
Mr. Cantor, sir, this is Colonel Robert E. Jefferson of the Montgomery Post Gazette. What we all down here wants, from you all up there, is the complete story of your life, sir... Now, you begin right at the beginning, sir, and don't omit any of the details, no matter how boring they may be, sir. Yes, sir. Eddie Cantor:
Fine! Well, Colonel, my ancestors crossed the Plains in the first covered wagon. If you ever saw my ancestors, you'd understand *why* the wagon was covered - huh, huh, huh!... Don't print that!
[On the phone, posing as a fictitious Southern reporter for a non-existent newspaper]
Mr. Cantor, sir, this is Colonel Robert E. Jefferson of the Montgomery Post Gazette. What we all down here wants, from you all up there, is the complete story of your life, sir... Now, you begin right at the beginning, sir, and don't omit any of the details, no matter how boring they may be, sir. Yes, sir. Eddie Cantor:
Fine! Well, Colonel, my ancestors crossed the Plains in the first covered wagon. If you ever saw my ancestors, you'd understand *why* the wagon was covered - huh, huh, huh!... Don't print that!
Full Transcript
00:00:00.331 --> 00:00:02.822
I've got half of your game. Yes?
00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:05.468
Mr. Cantor,
this is Colonel Robert E. Jefferson...
00:00:05.636 --> 00:00:08.332
...of the Montgomery Post Gazette, sir.
Yes, sir.
00:00:08.506 --> 00:00:12.067
Look, I'm a very busy man
and I'm not doing any advertising this year.
00:00:12.243 --> 00:00:14.143
We allow as how you're very busy, sir...
00:00:14.311 --> 00:00:18.145
...but what we all down...
Down here wants from you all up there...
00:00:18.315 --> 00:00:20.783
...is the complete story of your life, sir.
00:00:20.951 --> 00:00:21.975
My life?
00:00:22.153 --> 00:00:24.001
A pleasure, colonel. I'll make it brief.
00:00:24.221 --> 00:00:25.313
Just pull up a chair.
00:00:25.489 --> 00:00:29.084
You begin right at the beginning, sir,
and don't omit any of the details...
00:00:29.026 --> 00:00:32.252
...no matter how boring they may be, sir.
Yes, sir.
00:00:32.073 --> 00:00:37.292
Fine. Well, colonel, my ancestors crossed
the plains in the first covered wagon.
00:00:37.468 --> 00:00:40.767
If you ever saw my ancestors, you'd
understand why the wagon was covered.
00:00:40.938 --> 00:00:42.633
Ha-ha-ha. Don't print that.
00:00:45.509 --> 00:00:47.001
- I was born in September...
- Psst. Boy.
00:00:47.211 --> 00:00:48.735
Yes.
- Tell Dr. Schlenna to put...
00:00:48.913 --> 00:00:51.905
...that Jack Carson-Alan Hale number
on right away.
00:00:52.001 --> 00:00:54.846
The Carson-Hale number, Dr. Schlenna.
00:01:10.999 --> 00:01:13.431
Weren't you on the bill with me
In Dallas?
00:01:13.604 --> 00:01:15.001
Or was it the Palace?
00:01:15.339 --> 00:01:17.001
Or was it the Strand?
00:01:17.708 --> 00:01:19.801
Didn't you have a blond with you
Named Alice?
00:01:19.977 --> 00:01:22.172
Yes, that was in Dallas
00:01:22.346 --> 00:01:24.541
And wasn't she grand?
00:01:24.715 --> 00:01:28.002
I know your face, it's a face in a million
00:01:28.999 --> 00:01:31.996
Shake, brother, shake
With a brother vaudevillian
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Movie Summary
Two producers are putting together a wartime charity show with an all-star cast but the egotism of radio personality Eddie Cantor disrupts their plans.
