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"The 40 Year Old Virgin" quotes

The 40 Year Old Virgin poster
Goaded by his buddies, a nerdy guy who's never "done the deed" only finds the pressure mounting when he meets a single mother.

Director: Judd Apatow
Writer: Judd Apatow, Steve Carell
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, romance
Year: 2005
MetaScore: 73/100
ImdbRating: 7.1
BoxOffice: $109,449,237
Released: 19 Aug 2005
Awards: 10 wins & 19 nominations
You guys are so up your asses - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:09 You guys are so up your asses Fuck that nigger up - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:07 Fuck that nigger up Andy it's going down partner We're gonna be - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:17 Andy it's going down partner We're gonna be I touched a guy's balls at Hebrew school once - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:06 I touched a guy's balls at Hebrew school once Hey Andy What's up dude - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:12 Hey Andy What's up dude Fuck her while she watches Murder She Wrote - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:06 Fuck her while she watches Murder She Wrote Wow this is graphic - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:04 Wow this is graphic You know how I know you're gay How - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:09 You know how I know you're gay How No no no Come on man - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:07 No no no Come on man Dude teach me - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:08 Dude teach me No Kelly Clarkson - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:05 No Kelly Clarkson So how was that for you - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:04 So how was that for you Remember that time when we made love and you cried in my arms - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:27 Remember that time when we made love and you cried in my... Dude here it is - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:12 Dude here it is You need to get past that - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:04 You need to get past that Yeah I remember that girl She was a ho - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:06 Yeah I remember that girl She was a ho Fuck me - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:18 Fuck me Screaming Nipple fuck - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:11 Screaming Nipple fuck And it was - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:15 And it was They were just having fun They didn't mean anything - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:14 They were just having fun They didn't mean anything Wow this is pretty crowded - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:09 Wow this is pretty crowded You wait for it to grow into a plant - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:11 You wait for it to grow into a plant Here be David Caruso in Jade - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:13 Here be David Caruso in Jade Hope you have a big trunk because I'm putting my bike in it - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:07 Hope you have a big trunk because I'm putting my bike... You ever heard of the term fuck buddy - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:14 You ever heard of the term fuck buddy She's adorable - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:08 She's adorable I hate you - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:12 I hate you Cal She starts doing his pubes I'm out of here - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:08 Cal She starts doing his pubes I'm out of here Fuck her and then have her send you a check for 12 on your birthday - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:09 Fuck her and then have her send you a check for 12 on your... I could do that Wait last thing - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:43 I could do that Wait last thing Go fuck a goat Yeah - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:08 Go fuck a goat Yeah You know when you like you grab a woman's breast and it's - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:16 You know when you like you grab a woman's breast and... Do you know how I know you're gay How - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:06 Do you know how I know you're gay How What are you doing - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:18 What are you doing So have you ever worked with electronics before - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:14 So have you ever worked with electronics before Yeah my man's gonna get it on tonight - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:12 Yeah my man's gonna get it on tonight You know the thing about relationships is that they - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:33 You know the thing about relationships is that they Something wrong with her underpants - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:05 Something wrong with her underpants When I was a little girl I developed early - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:12 When I was a little girl I developed early He thinks you're a pothead I am - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:04 He thinks you're a pothead I am I'll still have sex with you if you want - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:04 I'll still have sex with you if you want It looks like the Doppler radar - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:05 It looks like the Doppler radar I dated this woman let me rephrase that I dated this whore - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:08 I dated this woman let me rephrase that I dated this whore This is the bullshit of all bullshits - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:06 This is the bullshit of all bullshits I should tear up the hard wood - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:08 I should tear up the hard wood You know where to shave me - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:06 You know where to shave me Or is this some sort of cruel joke that you're all in on - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:05 Or is this some sort of cruel joke that you're all in... There were two sides to that billboard - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:06 There were two sides to that billboard Why did you cheat on her - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:06 Why did you cheat on her From now on your dick is my dick I'm getting you some pussy - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:05 From now on your dick is my dick I'm getting you some... Is that the Six Million Dollar Man's boss - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:05 Is that the Six Million Dollar Man's boss That's a good looking grandma My grandma looks like Jack Palance - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:10 That's a good looking grandma My grandma looks like... Okay I have a very fulfilling life - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:26 Okay I have a very fulfilling life I just wanna get drunk fucked up and play some cards - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:04 I just wanna get drunk fucked up and play some cards I'll pray for your cock Okay thanks - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:05 I'll pray for your cock Okay thanks You know what I mean I'm not a big ho runner - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:06 You know what I mean I'm not a big ho runner It just does This doesn't feel right - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:09 It just does This doesn't feel right Are you okay The fucker came out of nowhere - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:06 Are you okay The fucker came out of nowhere Look listen to me You are fucking with the wrong nigger - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:09 Look listen to me You are fucking with the wrong nigger Yeah he's performing a public colonoscopy - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:06 Yeah he's performing a public colonoscopy Rich men get off work then buy stereo - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:08 Rich men get off work then buy stereo I wanna introduce you to my friend - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:11 I wanna introduce you to my friend And what do you do with this vagina - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:04 And what do you do with this vagina Really All your girlfriends wanted to have sex with virgins too - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:33 Really All your girlfriends wanted to have sex with virgins... You know how I know you're gay How How do you know I'm gay - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:05 You know how I know you're gay How How do you know... Wait So you're a virgin - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:33 Wait So you're a virgin It's like this When I was growing pot I realized - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:35 It's like this When I was growing pot I realized She's picking you up from here Yeah - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:34 She's picking you up from here Yeah Fuck that nigger up - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:07 Fuck that nigger up Here's a cute story I came home the other day - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:19 Here's a cute story I came home the other day All right That's enough party's over - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:06 All right That's enough party's over It's gonna be fine They don't even remember - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:16 It's gonna be fine They don't even remember I prefer vaginal intercourse - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:07 I prefer vaginal intercourse Hi Andy I'm gonna talk dirty to you - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:34 Hi Andy I'm gonna talk dirty to you So tell me Montel - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:21 So tell me Montel I am going to tell her - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:12 I am going to tell her Fuck it I raise you Nastiest shit you've ever done - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:36 Fuck it I raise you Nastiest shit you've ever done You need to stop fucking around with my friend okay - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:16 You need to stop fucking around with my friend okay Okay The problem most men have is - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:25 Okay The problem most men have is

Cast