The 40 Year Old Virgin quotes

The 40 Year Old Virgin poster
Goaded by his buddies, a nerdy guy who's never "done the deed" only finds the pressure mounting when he meets a single mother.

Director: Judd Apatow
Writer: Judd Apatow, Steve Carell
Production: Universal Pictures, Apatow Productions
Genre: comedy, romance
Year: 2005
MetaScore: 73/100
ImdbRating: 7.1
BoxOffice: $109,449,237
Released: 19 Aug 2005
Awards: 10 wins & 19 nominations


132 Clips & Quotes

Don't let him bother you - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:31 Don't let him bother you Are you looking for something - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:24 Are you looking for something Can I help you - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:24 Can I help you What do you like - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:17 What do you like You're putting the pussy on a pedestal - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:17 You're putting the pussy on a pedestal That sounds gay - The 40 Year Old Virgin 02:25 That sounds gay I'm just celibate - The 40 Year Old Virgin 02:23 I'm just celibate Did you write this stuff - The 40 Year Old Virgin 03:16 Did you write this stuff You know how I know you're gay - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:34 You know how I know you're gay I gotta tell you something - The 40 Year Old Virgin 02:18 I gotta tell you something It's all about connections - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:15 It's all about connections Does that come in a V neck - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:19 Does that come in a V neck And she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:28 And she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls Everybody dick look big on 60 inch TV - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:26 Everybody dick look big on 60 inch TV What are you gonna do - The 40 Year Old Virgin 02:40 What are you gonna do There are ways of having sex without intercourse - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:50 There are ways of having sex without intercourse We gonna need more wax - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:21 We gonna need more wax Is it true that if you don't  use  it - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:22 Is it true that if you don't use it Take your porn with you - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:35 Take your porn with you I don't want it - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:49 I don't want it Why weren't we invited to the party - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:14 Why weren't we invited to the party You know how I know that you're gay - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:25 You know how I know that you're gay I had a weekend - The 40 Year Old Virgin 03:44 I had a weekend I respect women - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:26 I respect women Why you always telling me to go fuck a goat - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:15 Why you always telling me to go fuck a goat I always have been - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:13 I always have been Today's forecast - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:20 Today's forecast This is not a good look for me - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:11 This is not a good look for me Do you know how I know you're gay - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:27 Do you know how I know you're gay Einstein rode a bike - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:15 Einstein rode a bike This is a great TV - The 40 Year Old Virgin 04:01 This is a great TV What are you doing - The 40 Year Old Virgin 04:02 What are you doing Is he already on parole - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:25 Is he already on parole You look like a man o lantern - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:08 You look like a man o lantern This is gonna be good - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:39 This is gonna be good Until she went down on this guy in an Escalade - The 40 Year Old Virgin 02:20 Until she went down on this guy in an Escalade I'm going to  Yamo  burn this place to the ground - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:31 I'm going to Yamo burn this place to the ground Let's get some fuckin french toast - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:17 Let's get some fuckin french toast We could do it in the - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:18 We could do it in the When I was growing pot - The 40 Year Old Virgin 02:46 When I was growing pot All you got to do is use your instincts - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:55 All you got to do is use your instincts You have really kind eyes - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:18 You have really kind eyes I hired a 90 lb girl to work in the stock room at Smart Tech for you - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:53 I hired a 90 lb girl to work in the stock room at Smart Tech... Do you have any extra large condoms - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:22 Do you have any extra large condoms How many pots have you smoken - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:16 How many pots have you smoken I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:29 I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand Virgin's not a dirty word - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:33 Virgin's not a dirty word I need some poon - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:20 I need some poon That one hurt just as much as the first one - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:18 That one hurt just as much as the first one I just don't want a big box of porn in my apartment - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:55 I just don't want a big box of porn in my apartment I'll probably re watch  Gandhi - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:49 I'll probably re watch Gandhi We're kind of in the middle of something here - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:10 We're kind of in the middle of something here I'm on my break - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:11 I'm on my break We gotta get some fucking toys - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:25 We gotta get some fucking toys I kinda thought you were a serial killer - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:17 I kinda thought you were a serial killer I'm very discreet - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:16 I'm very discreet They're not fucking toys - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:35 They're not fucking toys If I get the set - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:29 If I get the set I got friends who fuck guys - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:26 I got friends who fuck guys Where do you put the penis - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:08 Where do you put the penis What if she laughs at me - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:22 What if she laughs at me Do you have protection - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:20 Do you have protection That woman scares the shit out of me - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:16 That woman scares the shit out of me Sounds like my Friday night - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:18 Sounds like my Friday night Know how I know you're gay - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:20 Know how I know you're gay They're the freshmaker - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:16 They're the freshmaker Do you mind if I use your - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:15 Do you mind if I use your Is this the movie about babies that are geniuses - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:21 Is this the movie about babies that are geniuses Are you kidding me - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:43 Are you kidding me I don't want this stuff - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:43 I don't want this stuff Did you just flick me in the balls - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:30 Did you just flick me in the balls You know what my problem is - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:08 You know what my problem is Are you a telemarketer - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:26 Are you a telemarketer You need to stop fucking around with my friend - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:51 You need to stop fucking around with my friend Nastiest shit you've ever done - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:03 Nastiest shit you've ever done She was really a - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:02 She was really a You should totally tell her - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:40 You should totally tell her Go fuck a goat - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:06 Go fuck a goat It's not that kind of party dawg - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:04 It's not that kind of party dawg How was the date with Trish - The 40 Year Old Virgin 02:20 How was the date with Trish I'm gonna talk dirty to you - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:07 I'm gonna talk dirty to you I prefer vaginal intercourse - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:19 I prefer vaginal intercourse It's gonna be fine - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:27 It's gonna be fine This is gonna be bad - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:28 This is gonna be bad Let the virgin get back to work - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:15 Let the virgin get back to work That's fucked up - The 40 Year Old Virgin 03:07 That's fucked up She's picking me up in an hour - The 40 Year Old Virgin 03:04 She's picking me up in an hour Fuck that nigga up - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:20 Fuck that nigga up Here's what you do - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:44 Here's what you do You tell her you're a virgin - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:44 You tell her you're a virgin ' What are you talking about - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:09 ' What are you talking about I'm a virgin too - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:10 I'm a virgin too So you're a virgin - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:09 So you're a virgin All your girlfriends wanted to have sex with virgins - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:15 All your girlfriends wanted to have sex with virgins And what is this - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:12 And what is this Your friend is so shiny - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:25 Your friend is so shiny Rich man gets off work - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:22 Rich man gets off work He's performing a public colonoscopy - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:20 He's performing a public colonoscopy You're fucking with the wrong sand nigga - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:25 You're fucking with the wrong sand nigga That fucker came out of nowhere - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:15 That fucker came out of nowhere This doesn't feel right - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:35 This doesn't feel right I'm not a big ho runner - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:24 I'm not a big ho runner I will pray for your cock - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:16 I will pray for your cock I just want to get drunk - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:21 I just want to get drunk I have a very fulfilling life - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:39 I have a very fulfilling life That's a good looking grandma - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:43 That's a good looking grandma Is that the Six Million Dollar Man's boss - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:19 Is that the Six Million Dollar Man's boss Your dick is my dick - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:22 Your dick is my dick Why'd you cheat on her - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:18 Why'd you cheat on her There were two sides to that billboard - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:20 There were two sides to that billboard Is this shirt too yellow - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:23 Is this shirt too yellow You know where to shave me - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:22 You know where to shave me That's never the case - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:28 That's never the case You know what's a fun game - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:37 You know what's a fun game Get the fuck out the road - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:13 Get the fuck out the road This is the bullshit of all bullshit - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:16 This is the bullshit of all bullshit I dated this woman - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:29 I dated this woman It looks like the Doppler radar - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:17 It looks like the Doppler radar I'll still have sex with you if you want - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:18 I'll still have sex with you if you want Jay thinks you're a pot head - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:16 Jay thinks you're a pot head By the time I was 13 - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:36 By the time I was 13 When I was young - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:36 When I was young I don't want to - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:28 I don't want to I developed early - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:35 I developed early Here's a cute story - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:06 Here's a cute story They're not in my mouth - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:24 They're not in my mouth What are you talking about - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:44 What are you talking about And then one person goes - The 40 Year Old Virgin 01:47 And then one person goes My man's gonna get it on tonight - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:29 My man's gonna get it on tonight Have you ever worked with electronics before - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:39 Have you ever worked with electronics before What did you do - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:37 What did you do You should keep your ho on a leash - The 40 Year Old Virgin 00:18 You should keep your ho on a leash

Cast

David - Paul Rudd
Nicky - Leslie Mann
Paula - Jane Lynch
Marla - Kat Dennings
E-Bay Customer - Jonah Hill
Bernadette - Marika Dominczyk
Gina - Mo Collins
Woman at Speed Dating - Gillian Vigman
Woman at Speed Dating - Kimberly Page
Woman at Speed Dating - Siena Goines
Speed Dating MC - Charlie Hartsock
Health Clinic Counselor - Nancy Carell
Dad at Health Clinic - Cedric Yarbrough
Dad at Health Clinic - David Koechner
Dad at Health Clinic - Jeff Kahn
Boy at Health Clinic - Nick Lashaway
Boy at Health Clinic - Loren Berman
Boy at Health Clinic - Julian Foster
Prostitute - Jazzmun
Waxing Lady - Miki Mia
Bar Girl - Shannon Bradley
Bar Girl - Brianna Brown
Bar Girl - Liz Carey
Bar Girl - Hilary Shepard
Bar Girl - Barret Swatek
Toe-Sucking Girl - Carla Gallo
16 Year-Old Andy - Michael Bierman
Girl with Braces - Marisa Guterman
Porn Star - Stormy Daniels
Smart Tech Customer - Kevin Hart
Smart Tech Customer - Wayne Federman
Smart Tech Customer - Ron Marasco
Smart Tech Customer - Joseph T. Mastrolia
Woman Buying Videotapes - Kate Luyben
Man Buffing Floor - Joe Nunez
Motorist - Matt McKane
Mother at Restaurant - Rose Abdoo
Father at Restaurant - Steve Bannos
Daughter at Restaurant - Brooke Hamlin
Waitress at Restaurant - Miyoko Shimosawa
Woman Who Bought Television - Marilyn Dodds Frank
College Girl - Laura Bottrell
Woman #1 - Jenna Fischer
Speed Dater - Mandy Freund
Young Andy - Brandon Killham
Background - Casey Lowe
Newswoman - Jamie Elle Mann
Cafe Girl - Sarah McCann
Girl in Electronic Store - Leah McCormick
Speed Dater - Suzy Nakamura
Bar Patron - Samantha J. Reese
Club Patron - Sylvan Shen
Porn Actress - Brittney Skye
Andy's Mother - Phyllis Smith
Boy at Wedding - Wyatt Smith
Customer - Kira Turnage
Redhead - Penny Vital
Shopping Girl - Christa Nicole Wells