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Jay: Wassup, dawg, what happened? How was the date with Trish? Andy Stitzer: Oh, it was a disaster. Cal: Really? Andy Stitzer: Yes, I've never been more embarrassed in my life. I couldn't get the
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Wassup, dawg, what happened? How was the date with Trish?...

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Jay:
Wassup, dawg, what happened? How was the date with Trish?
Andy Stitzer:
Oh, it was a disaster.
Cal:
Really?
Andy Stitzer:
Yes, I've never been more embarrassed in my life. I couldn't get the condoms to work, and one of them exploded on my balls. And then, her kid walked in the room...
Jay:
Woah. Wait. Hold up. She was hiding the kid from you, dawg?
Andy Stitzer:
You know what? It doesn't matter. Because it was goin' downhill straight from there.
Jay:
Listen, you don't want no baby daddy drama. Trust me on this one, aight? For all you know, he in prison right now. Let's say y'all livin' together. Next thing you know, you the one gone on the first and the fifteenth, huh, to pick up the government check? What if he got boys that's on the outside? And they stalkin' you? See what I'm sayin? You gotta think, patna!
Andy Stitzer:
What the fuck are you talking about?

Transcript:
What's up, dawg?
What happened?
How was the date with Trish?
It was a disaster.
Really?
Yes. I've never been
more embarrassed in my life.
Couldn't get the
condoms to work.
And one of them
exploded on my balls.
And then her kid
walked in the room.
Wait. Hold up.
She was hiding the kid
from you, dawg?
You know what,
it doesn't matter...
because it was going downhill
straight from there.
Listen, you don't want
no baby-daddy drama.
Trust me on this one,
all right?
For all you know,
he in prison right now.
Let's say y'all
living together.
Next thing you know,
you the one going on the
1st and the 15th...
to pick up the
government check.
What if he got boys
that's on the outside...
and they stalking you?
You see what I'm saying?
You got to think, partner...
What the fuck
are you talking about?
Here's what you do.
You tell her you're a virgin.
You test her
with this shit, okay?
Here, tell me. Tell me.
This is how it's gonna go.
Tell me.
I'm a virgin.
Sweet.
I like that because
you don't have Chlamydia.
And I know that,
and that shit is everywhere.
What if she
laughs at me, though?
Then you punch her
in the fucking head
if she laughs.
I'm not going to
punch her in the head.
She's really sweet.
No. I mean, you punch her
in her fucking head
emotionally.
She's different. She's someone
I felt like I had...
a connection with.
All you trying to do right now
is bust off this first night.
You got a whole lot of semen
back up in you.
I am going to tell her.
You should totally
tell her, man.
I'm going to.
'Cause I watched this movie
called Liar Liar...
and the message was,
"Don't lie. "
And that was a smart movie.
Yeah, that's the right thing.
Yeah.
Really? All your girlfriends
wanted to have sex
with virgins, too?
That's funny. I didn't
even know you girls
talked like that.
I think my first time
might be your best time, too.
Well, I knew it.
You know what...
I knew that you'd
react that way
and I knew that...
you would want
to lead me through
my first sexual encounter...
with all the compassion
and care that someone...
would give to their soul mate.
Oh, my God. I'm in trouble.
Hey, Andy.
(Joe)
You watching Survivor tonight?
No, actually
I'm going out to dinner
with somebody.
Hi.
(Andy)
This is her.
Trish, this is
Joe and Sara.
Hi.

Clip duration: 140 seconds
Views: 61
Timestamp in movie: 01:19:27
Uploaded: 16 September, 2021
Genres: comedy, romance
Summary: Goaded by his buddies, a nerdy guy who's never "done the deed" only finds the pressure mounting when he meets a single mother.


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