You're gay now? No, I'm not gay. I'm just celibate. I think... I mean, that sounds gay. I...

Cal: You're gay now? David: No, I'm not gay. I'm just celibate. Cal: I think... I mean, that sounds gay. I just want you to know this is, like, the first conversation of, like, three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like, there's this, and then in a year it's like, "Oh, you know, I'm kinda gonna want to get back out there, but I think I like guys," and then there's the big, "Oh, I'm... I'm... I'm a gay guy now." David: [smirks] You're gay for saying that. Cal: I'm gay for saying that? David: You know how I know you're gay? Cal: How? How do you know I'm gay? David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts. Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more. David: You know how I know you're gay? Cal: How? 'Cause you're gay? And you can tell who other gay people are? David: You know how I know you're gay? Cal: How? David: You like Coldplay.