That's because I'm not an arrogant prick, Andy
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Cal:
Listen, when I was growing pot, I realized that the more seeds I planted, the more pot I could ultimately smoke.Andy Stitzer:I think I've got all the advice I can handle right now.Cal:Don't get bitter.Andy Stitzer:I'm not getting bitter. I almost lost a nipple, okay?Cal:That was Jay's idea, and I wasn't going to say anything, but waxing your chest is the gayest thing you could possibly do. Look at me: looks are not important. *Really* look at me. I am ugly as fuck by traditional standards, but, I get with women. Aren't you curious as to how that's possible?Andy Stitzer:I am not ugly as fuck.Cal:I didn't say you were ugly as fuck.Andy Stitzer:Well, you implied it.Cal:Okay, okay, it doesn't matter if you're ugly as fuck, or you're ugly as shit. It's about *talking* to women, and I know how to do that because I observe, because I am a novelist.Andy Stitzer:What? You never told me that before.Cal:That's because I'm not an arrogant prick, Andy
Listen, when I was growing pot, I realized that the more seeds I planted, the more pot I could ultimately smoke.Andy Stitzer:I think I've got all the advice I can handle right now.Cal:Don't get bitter.Andy Stitzer:I'm not getting bitter. I almost lost a nipple, okay?Cal:That was Jay's idea, and I wasn't going to say anything, but waxing your chest is the gayest thing you could possibly do. Look at me: looks are not important. *Really* look at me. I am ugly as fuck by traditional standards, but, I get with women. Aren't you curious as to how that's possible?Andy Stitzer:I am not ugly as fuck.Cal:I didn't say you were ugly as fuck.Andy Stitzer:Well, you implied it.Cal:Okay, okay, it doesn't matter if you're ugly as fuck, or you're ugly as shit. It's about *talking* to women, and I know how to do that because I observe, because I am a novelist.Andy Stitzer:What? You never told me that before.Cal:That's because I'm not an arrogant prick, Andy
Full Transcript
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It's like this When I was growing pot I realized
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that the more seeds I planted Thank you
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the more pot I could ultimately smoke
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I think I have all the advice that I can handle right now
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Don't get bitter
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I'm not bitter I almost lost a nipple okay
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That was Jay's idea okay
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And I wasn't going to say anything but waxing your chest is
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like the gayest thing you could possibly do okay
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Look at me Looks are not important Really look at me
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I am ugly as fuck by traditional standards
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but I get with women
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Aren't you curious as to how that's possible
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I am not ugly as fuck
00:00:38.996 --> 00:00:40.789
I didn't say you were ugly as
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Well you implied it Okay
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It doesn't matter if you're ugly as fuck or you're ugly as shit
00:00:45.999 --> 00:00:48.171
It's about talking to women and I know how to do that
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because I observe because I am a novelist
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What You never told me that before
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That's because I am not an arrogant prick Andy
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Movie Summary
Goaded by his buddies, a nerdy guy who's never "done the deed" only finds the pressure mounting when he meets a single mother.
Actors
Cal
Andy Stitzer
