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Andy Stitzer: You guys, she's picking me up in an hour. David: Oh, drag, dude. Cal: She's picking you up from here? Andy Stitzer: Yeah. Cal: That's fucked up, man. Andy Stitzer: Why? Cal: Why?
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You guys, she's picking me up in an hour. Oh, drag, dude....

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Andy Stitzer:
You guys, she's picking me up in an hour.
David:
Oh, drag, dude.
Cal:
She's picking you up from here?
Andy Stitzer:
Yeah.
Cal:
That's fucked up, man.
Andy Stitzer:
Why?
Cal:
Why? Seriously. I mean, look at this place, man. You gotta see this through the eyes of a woman, you know? What is she going to think when she comes in here? Look. He's got a billion toys.
Andy Stitzer:
So what?
Cal:
And more video games than a teenaged Asian kid.
Andy Stitzer:
Okay.
Cal:
[Pointing to an action figure on a shelf]
Is that the Six Million Dollar Man's boss?
Andy Stitzer:
That's Oscar Goldman.
Cal:
Why do you have that?
Andy Stitzer:
That's worth a lot of money. That's much more valuable than Steve Austin.
Cal:
Well, that may be the case. But none of this shit is sexy, okay?
Andy Stitzer:
I'm not trying to be sexy, man.
Cal:
[Pointing to a framed poster]
I mean, seriously, Asia? You framed an Asia poster? How hard did the people at the frame store laugh when you brought this in?
Andy Stitzer:
They did not laugh at me.
David:
Know why you're gay? Because you like Asia.
Andy Stitzer:
You guys cool it with the gay. You know, she's on her way over here, okay?
Cal:
First, you relax, okay?
Andy Stitzer:
Just stop calming me down and tell me what I should do.
Cal:
Okay, we just take everything that's embarrassing and we move it out of here so it doesn't look like you live in Neverland Ranch.
[Trish shows up at Andy's door and the entire apartment looks abandoned]

Transcript:
You guys...
she's picking me up
in an hour.
Oh, drag, dude.
She's picking you up
from here?
Yeah.
That's fucked up, man.
Why?
Why?
Seriously. I mean,
look at this place, man.
You gotta see this through
the eyes of a woman,
you know?
What is she going to think
when she comes in here? Look.
He's got a billion toys.
So what?
And more video games
than a teenaged Asian kid.
It's all right.
Is that the
Six Million Dollar Man's boss?
It's Oscar Goldman.
Why do you have that?
That's worth a lot of money.
That's much more valuable
than Steve Austin.
Well, that may be the case.
But none of this shit
is sexy, okay?
I'm not
trying to be sexy, man.
I mean, seriously, Asia?
You framed an Asia poster?
How hard did the people
at the frame store laugh...
when you brought this in?
They did not laugh at me.
Know why you're gay?
Because you like Asia.
You guys cool it
with the gay.
You know, she's on her way
over here, okay?
First, you relax, okay?
Just stop calming me down
and tell me what I should do.
Okay, we just take everything
that's embarrassing...
and we move it out of here.
So it doesn't look like
you live in Neverland Ranch.
Hi.
Hi. How are you?
Good.
So, you wanna head out?
Did you just
move in or something?
No. Actually I'm getting
new carpet in.
I'm having carpet
put in tomorrow, so...
Well, you know.
Yeah.
Okay.
Looks good with the floors.
Yeah.
All right.
I should tear up
the hard wood...
and see if there's
carpet underneath.
That's never the case.
This is gonna be fun.
Yes.
You know,
I drive by this place
every day.
I've never been in
before.
I'm glad you came.
You know,
I never really go out
with nice guys like you.
I think I've avoided nice guys
like you my whole life...
at my own peril.
My last boyfriend
drank a lot.
Mmm-hmm.
And so...
This is just punch.
[Laughing]
No, it's okay.
A little bit's fine.
Buddha punch.
I need some Buddha.
Excuse me, miss.
Could you gather your team...
and sing happy birthday
for my daughter, please?
##[Singing in Chinese]
[All cheering]
That was so good. What?
That was great.
Happy birthday.
It's your birthday, too?
No.
It's his birthday, too.
No, no, no.
Could you sing for him
and bring him a cake?
(man)
Happy birthday.
##[Singing in Chinese]
[Inaudible]
Thanks a lot.
Happy birthday, Andy.

Clip duration: 187 seconds
Views: 64
Timestamp in movie: 00:00:00
Uploaded: 28 January, 2021
Genres: comedy, romance
Summary: Goaded by his buddies, a nerdy guy who's never "done the deed" only finds the pressure mounting when he meets a single mother.


Actors

David - Paul Rudd