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This is a great TV Nothing beats a plasmaWhat are you doing That's my customerIt certainly is not When I came upon her she was unattendedNo that's my WaitGo to the checkout there Pick up there

The 40 Year Old Virgin

Cool, man. All right, pops

The 40 Year Old Virgin • 2005

Mooj:
This is a great TV. Nothing beats a plasma.Jay:What are you doing? That's my customer.Mooj:It certainly is not. When I came upon her, She was unattendedJay:No, no, That's my... She was unattended because I went to the back to get the brochure she requested.Mooj:I apologize, but it's too late. The transaction is completed.Jay:Then you gonna give me half the commission.Mooj:You will receive none of the commission.Jay:I need to talk to Paula. This is crazy, man!Mooj:This is bullshit! Every time I make a sale, you go crying to Paula. How about... how about Jesse Jackson? Oh, Jesse, he needs a call...Jay:I'm sick of you poaching my customers.Mooj:I'm sick of your crybaby bullshit!Jay:You wanna take this shit outside? You wanna just take it outside and just squash it?Mooj:Let's stay inside so everybody can see what a pussy you have, okay? Because when I remove the blade I keep in my boot from its sheath, I cannot return it until it has spilt blood.Jay:Listen to me, listen to me! You are fucking with the wrong nigger.Mooj:Hey, hey! You are fucking with the wrong sand nigger, okay?Jay:I will hang your old ass by your turban!Mooj: Oh, turban, now! Do you see any fucking turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say, "Hey, Jay, You want a slurpee? You want a slurpee?" Fuck you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn. Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a fucking Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?Jay:All right, man. Calm down, dude! Look... you still covering my shift on Friday or what?Mooj:If I can keep this commission... with pleasure.Jay:Cool, man. All right, pops

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.627

This is a great TV Nothing beats a plasma

00:00:03.712 --> 00:00:05.295

What are you doing That's my customer

00:00:05.038 --> 00:00:08.549

It certainly is not When I came upon her she was unattended

00:00:08.633 --> 00:00:10.003

No that's my Wait

00:00:10.385 --> 00:00:12.428

Go to the checkout there Pick up there please

00:00:12.512 --> 00:00:14.304

She was unattended because I went to the back

00:00:14.389 --> 00:00:16.181

to get the brochure that she requested

00:00:16.266 --> 00:00:17.725

I apologize but it's too late

00:00:17.809 --> 00:00:19.351

The transaction has been completed

00:00:19.436 --> 00:00:21.145

Then you're gonna give me half the commission

00:00:21.229 --> 00:00:22.688

You'll receive none of the commission

00:00:22.772 --> 00:00:24.231

I need to talk to Paula This is crazy

00:00:24.315 --> 00:00:25.315

This is bullshit

00:00:25.004 --> 00:00:27.234

Every time I make a sale you go crying to Paula

00:00:27.318 --> 00:00:30.612

How about Jesse Jackson Old Jesse needs a cause

00:00:30.697 --> 00:00:32.239

Sick of you poaching my customers

00:00:32.323 --> 00:00:33.824

I'm sick of your crybaby bullshit

00:00:33.908 --> 00:00:36.091

You wanna take this shit outside Just take it outside and squash it

00:00:36.995 --> 00:00:40.247

Let's stay inside so everybody can see what a pussy you have okay

00:00:40.331 --> 00:00:43.751

Because when I remove the blade I keep in my boot from its sheath

00:00:43.835 --> 00:00:46.067

I can't return it until it has spilled blood

00:00:46.755 --> 00:00:50.979

Look listen to me You are fucking with the wrong nigger

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Hey You're fucking with the wrong sand nigger okay

00:00:54.999 --> 00:00:56.597

Dude I will hang your old ass by your turban

00:00:56.848 --> 00:00:59.085

Turban now Do you see any fucking turban here

00:00:59.934 --> 00:01:01.602

Do I talk like a turban guy

00:01:01.686 --> 00:01:04.563

Do I say Hey Jay do you want a Slurpee You want a Slurpee

00:01:04.001 --> 00:01:07.858

Fuck you okay I was born in Brooklyn

00:01:07.999 --> 00:01:08.999

Brooklyn okay

00:01:09.998 --> 00:01:12.654

My accent is a fucking Brooklyn accent okay Okay

00:01:12.739 --> 00:01:14.003

All right man Calm down dude

00:01:14.157 --> 00:01:16.283

Look you still covering my shift on Friday or what

00:01:16.367 --> 00:01:19.286

If I can keep this commission with pleasure

00:01:19.037 --> 00:01:22.247

Cool then All right pop No problem

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.936

يا صاح أنت تماما تبا علي الذهاب اللعنية

00:00:04.996 --> 00:00:05.665

يا صاح أنت تماما تبا علي الذهاب اللعنية

00:00:05.739 --> 00:00:07.205

ستذهب الآن مضاجعة ليلية

00:00:07.274 --> 00:00:08.366

يا صاح أنت تعرف كيف تسير الأمور

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أتعرف صديقتك بأمر هذه الزيارات الليلية

00:00:11.999 --> 00:00:12.569

إنها كالإتفاقية الغير مبرمة أجل

00:00:12.646 --> 00:00:15.706

إنه مثل إتفاق خفي تماما

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إذا كنت تعرفها إذا عرفت مع م ن أتعامل

00:00:18.001 --> 00:00:19.246

لن تقول هذا الهراء

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لا يوجد شيء لا يمكنك فعله مع هذه الإمرأة

00:00:21.288 --> 00:00:23.382

للأعلى و للأسفل لقد فعلت كل شيء

00:00:23.458 --> 00:00:25.358

كان بإمكاني إبتكاره لقد تمكنت و حرفيا

00:00:25.425 --> 00:00:27.791

من مضاجعت أقواس قدميها إتفقنا

00:00:27.861 --> 00:00:28.953

أجل

00:00:29.029 --> 00:00:30.069

مضاجعت الأقدام هذا مقرف يا رجل

00:00:30.764 --> 00:00:32.288

هذا ليس مقرفا

00:00:32.734 --> 00:00:34.668

سأعطيك ماهو مقرف تبا

00:00:34.736 --> 00:00:37.533

كنت أنام مع إمرأة مؤخرا و كانت

00:00:37.604 --> 00:00:40.904

تملك ثديان رائعان يا رجل أنا أحب الأثداء

00:00:41.508 --> 00:00:44.998

و كنا نقوم بها و أنا على وشك الإنتهاء

00:00:44.144 --> 00:00:46.169

جاء كلبها و بدأ بلعق مؤخرتي

00:00:46.246 --> 00:00:50.581

أقسم بالله كان علي الإختيار هل أنتهي أم أوقف الكلب

00:00:50.651 --> 00:00:52.055

أنا أعرف مؤخرتك المقرفة لقد إختار الإنتهاء

00:00:52.619 --> 00:00:54.986

لقد أنهيت و بعدها سرقت الكلب

00:00:56.224 --> 00:00:57.919

لا لم أفعل لكن

00:00:58.192 --> 00:01:00.066

تعرفون أحيانا أنا و آمي عندما نمارس الحب

00:01:00.727 --> 00:01:02.854

حتى أصبح الأمر عدم شعورنا بأننا بشريين

00:01:02.929 --> 00:01:05.592

لكن كروحين أو شيء من هذا القبيل

00:01:05.007 --> 00:01:08.863

كانت روحينا متصلتين بطريقة لا يمكنني شرحها

00:01:08.097 --> 00:01:12.532

توقف الوقت ساكنا و كأننا نتشاطر نفس القلب

00:01:12.064 --> 00:01:16.044

توقف يا رجل لماذا تأتي دائما و تقتل أحاسيسنا بتلك الأشياء

00:01:16.512 --> 00:01:18.479

نتشاطر القلب نفسه هذا يبدو كـ

00:01:18.001 --> 00:01:19.672

هراء برتني سبيرز يا صاح

00:01:19.747 --> 00:01:22.999

هؤلاء ثلاثة رجال ناضجون يا صاح لا أحد يريد السماع لهذا الهراء

00:01:22.818 --> 00:01:25.003

هيا رجل لا أحد يريد سماع هذا الهراء

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.046

Que fais tu C'est ma cliente

00:00:02.669 --> 00:00:05.588

Certainement pas Quand je l'ai approchée elle était seule

00:00:05.796 --> 00:00:07.256

Non C'est ma Attends

00:00:07.423 --> 00:00:09.467

Allez à la caisse Votre télé y sera

00:00:09.467 --> 00:00:11.218

Elle était seule car je suis allé

00:00:11.218 --> 00:00:12.097

chercher le dépliant qu'elle m'a demandé

00:00:13.001 --> 00:00:16.999

Désolé mais il est trop tard La transaction est terminée

00:00:16.223 --> 00:00:17.891

Donne moi la moitié de la commission

00:00:17.891 --> 00:00:19.309

Tu n'en auras aucune part

00:00:19.309 --> 00:00:20.769

Je demanderai à Paula C'est fou

00:00:20.852 --> 00:00:21.853

Tu déconnes

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Tu te plains de chacune de mes ventes

00:00:23.813 --> 00:00:26.774

Parles en à Jesse Jackson Le vieux Jesse cherche une cause

00:00:26.941 --> 00:00:29.985

Arrête de me piquer mes clients Arrête de pleurnicher

00:00:30.001 --> 00:00:32.078

Tu veux qu'on s'occupe de ça dehors Qu'on sorte régler ça

00:00:32.988 --> 00:00:35.949

Restons ici pour que tout le monde puisse voir que tu es lâche

00:00:36.998 --> 00:00:39.369

Parce que quand je retire mon épée de son fourreau je protège ma botte

00:00:39.536 --> 00:00:42.033

et je ne range pas mon épée sans effusion de sang

00:00:42.372 --> 00:00:45.541

Ècoute Tu t'opposes au mauvais Négro

00:00:46.998 --> 00:00:49.253

Hé Tu t'opposes au mauvais Négro Soleil d'accord

00:00:49.253 --> 00:00:51.714

Mon vieux je vais te pendre à ton turban

00:00:52.997 --> 00:00:54.925

À mon turban Vois tu un turban quelque part

00:00:55.027 --> 00:00:56.051

Je parle comme un type à turban

00:00:56.593 --> 00:00:59.429

Est ce que je dis Dis donc Jay tu veux un granité

00:00:59.429 --> 00:01:02.064

Va te faire foutre d'accord Je suis né à Brooklyn

00:01:02.064 --> 00:01:03.599

À Brooklyn d'accord

00:01:03.766 --> 00:01:07.999

Mon accent en est un de Brooklyn d'accord

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D'accord mon gars Du calme

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Tu me remplaces toujours ce vendredi

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Si tu me permets de garder cette commission

00:01:13.001 --> 00:01:16.001

Super alors D'accord mon vieux Pas de problème

00:01:19.114 --> 00:01:20.999

Et Andy Non

00:01:21.282 --> 00:01:22.001

Allez Il nous faut cinq gars

00:01:22.001 --> 00:01:24.999

pour jouer au poker non Oui

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.732

Ich bin noch mit Ellen verabredet

00:00:02.825 --> 00:00:04.343

Jetzt Ein Mitternachts Stich

00:00:04.433 --> 00:00:05.559

Du weißt wie das läuft

00:00:05.649 --> 00:00:08.245

Weiß deine Freundin von deinen Nacht Aktivitäten

00:00:08.343 --> 00:00:09.861

Eine Art stille Übereinkunft Ja

00:00:09.095 --> 00:00:13.163

Das ist eine völlig stillschweigende Übereinkunft

00:00:13.426 --> 00:00:15.678

Wenn du sie kennen würdest würdest du nicht

00:00:15.772 --> 00:00:16.935

so einen Scheiß erzählen

00:00:17.001 --> 00:00:18.846

Es gibt nichts was man mit der Braut

00:00:18.944 --> 00:00:21.999

nicht machen kann Ich habe alles gemacht

00:00:21.016 --> 00:00:23.235

was mir nur einfiel Habe mich eingeölt

00:00:23.332 --> 00:00:25.714

und Liebe mit ihren Fußgewölben gemacht Genau

00:00:25.809 --> 00:00:26.888

Wow Ja

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Fußfick Das ist krank Mann

00:00:29.023 --> 00:00:30.932

Wow Das ist nicht krank

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Ich sag dir was krank ist Oh Scheiße

00:00:33.108 --> 00:00:36.012

Ich habe neulich mit 'ner Frau geschlafen Die hatte

00:00:36.106 --> 00:00:39.744

Ihre Titten waren unglaublich Oh Mann ich liebe Tittchen

00:00:40.102 --> 00:00:42.828

Und wir treiben es also ich bin fast so weit

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da leckt mir ihr Hund den Arsch Oh Alter

00:00:45.186 --> 00:00:49.738

Ehrlich Musste mich entscheiden kommen oder den Hund stoppen

00:00:49.835 --> 00:00:51.566

Ich kenn dich Du hast weiter gevögelt

00:00:51.659 --> 00:00:54.871

Klar habe ich das Und dann habe ich den Hund geklaut

00:00:55.351 --> 00:00:57.557

Nein habe ich natürlich nicht aber

00:00:57.654 --> 00:01:00.012

Wenn Amy und ich miteinander geschlafen haben

00:01:00.218 --> 00:01:02.047

war das manchmal als wären wir nicht 2 Menschen

00:01:02.564 --> 00:01:05.001

sondern eher 2 Geister oder so was

00:01:05.001 --> 00:01:08.001

Unsere Seelen waren verbunden Ich kann es nicht beschreiben

00:01:08.864 --> 00:01:12.242

Die Zeit stand still Als würden wir dasselbe Herz teilen

00:01:12.339 --> 00:01:16.499

Hör auf Warum musst du uns immer mit so was die Stimmung versauen

00:01:16.999 --> 00:01:18.589

Das Herz teilen Das ist wie so 'ne

00:01:18.001 --> 00:01:20.236

Britney Spears Kacke Mann

00:01:20.334 --> 00:01:22.999

Wir sind 3 erwachsene Männer Keiner will das hören

00:01:22.094 --> 00:01:25.001

Ja Mann komm schon Keiner will den Scheiß hören

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.088

Dude you totally Oh shit I gotta go Damn

00:00:04.131 --> 00:00:05.871

About to go see Ellen in a little bit

00:00:05.958 --> 00:00:07.048

Going now Late night action huh

00:00:07.567 --> 00:00:08.698

Dude you know how it goes

00:00:08.784 --> 00:00:11.351

Does your girlfriend know about all these late night visits

00:00:11.437 --> 00:00:13.009

It's like an unspoken agreement Yeah

00:00:13.177 --> 00:00:16.351

It's like a completely and utterly unspoken agreement

00:00:16.439 --> 00:00:18.701

If you knew her if you knew who I was dealing with

00:00:18.743 --> 00:00:20.999

you wouldn't be saying this shit

00:00:20.135 --> 00:00:22.093

There's nothing you can't do with this woman

00:00:22.179 --> 00:00:24.354

straight up and down I've done every single thing

00:00:24.441 --> 00:00:26.398

I could possibly create I've literally lubed up

00:00:26.484 --> 00:00:28.964

and made love to the arches of her feet All right

00:00:29.014 --> 00:00:30.138

Wow Jay Yeah

00:00:30.225 --> 00:00:31.965

Foot fuck That's sick man

00:00:32.052 --> 00:00:33.618

Wow That is not sick

00:00:34.052 --> 00:00:36.997

I will give you sick Oh shit

00:00:36.014 --> 00:00:39.997

I was sleeping with a woman recently she had the

00:00:39.141 --> 00:00:42.576

Her tits were unbelievable Oh man I love titties

00:00:43.228 --> 00:00:45.881

And so we're doing it and I'm about to finish

00:00:45.969 --> 00:00:48.997

and her dog starts licking my ass

00:00:48.143 --> 00:00:52.666

I swear to God I have to decide do I finish or do I stop the dog

00:00:52.752 --> 00:00:54.071

I know your nasty ass He finished

00:00:54.797 --> 00:00:57.276

I finished And then I stole the dog

00:00:58.536 --> 00:01:00.319

No I didn't but

00:01:00.624 --> 00:01:03.019

You know sometimes Amy and I would make love

00:01:03.234 --> 00:01:05.452

till it was almost like we weren't two people

00:01:05.538 --> 00:01:08.322

but we were two spirits or something

00:01:08.001 --> 00:01:11.714

Our souls were connected in this way I can't describe it

00:01:11.801 --> 00:01:15.541

Time stood still It was like we were sharing the same heart

00:01:15.628 --> 00:01:19.999

Stop man Why do you always come and kill the vibe with those things

00:01:19.673 --> 00:01:21.717

Sharing the same heart that's like some

00:01:21.803 --> 00:01:22.999

Britney Spears shit man

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.502

Andai aku bisa menghabiskan seharian dibawah air daripada di tempat ini

00:00:03.607 --> 00:00:07.048

Benar Ini seperti SMU tanpa musik

00:00:07.778 --> 00:00:10.593

Setiap hari sama saja Lihat ini

00:00:19.352 --> 00:00:24.044

Selamat pagi Aku Bu Dodds guru bahasa Inggris pengganti

00:00:24.878 --> 00:00:26.234

Adakah yang bisa menjelaskan

00:00:26.338 --> 00:00:30.613

apa yang Shakespeare coba sampaikan dalam kalimat ini dari othello

00:00:33.741 --> 00:00:35.305

Percy Jackson

00:00:40.031 --> 00:00:41.561

Bagaimana

00:00:50.633 --> 00:00:52.614

Maaf Aku tak tahu

00:00:54.387 --> 00:00:55.846

Yang lain

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.044

Прошу прощения но уже поздно

00:00:02.052 --> 00:00:03.096

Сделка завершена

00:00:04.004 --> 00:00:05.072

Тогда с тебя половина комиссионных

00:00:05.076 --> 00:00:07.016

Ничего ты не получишь

00:00:07.024 --> 00:00:08.064

Я поговорю с Полой Это безумие

00:00:08.072 --> 00:00:09.068

Что за фигня

00:00:09.076 --> 00:00:11.056

Всякий раз когда я что то продаю ты бежишь жаловаться к Поле

00:00:11.064 --> 00:00:14.008

А как же Джесси Джексон Старине Джесси нужен повод

00:00:14.088 --> 00:00:16.036

Меня достало что ты тыришь моих клиентов

00:00:16.044 --> 00:00:17.084

А меня достало твоё ябедничество

00:00:17.092 --> 00:00:20.008

Хочешь выйдем и разберёмся

00:00:20.088 --> 00:00:24.000

Нет давай останемся Пусть все видят какой ты трус

00:00:24.012 --> 00:00:27.004

Вот я как выну лезвие что у меня в ботинке

00:00:27.048 --> 00:00:30.002

Я не уберу его назад пока оно не будет обагрено кровью

00:00:30.028 --> 00:00:33.004

Послушай послушай меня Ты катишь бочку не на того ниггера

00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:37.002

Эй Смотри куда свою бочку катишь

00:00:37.028 --> 00:00:39.064

Чувак я твою старую жопу натяну тебе на тюрбан

00:00:39.092 --> 00:00:42.008

Ах тюрбан Где ты видишь долбаный тюрбан

00:00:42.084 --> 00:00:44.044

Я что говорю как мужик в тюрбане

00:00:44.052 --> 00:00:47.032

Я что предлагаю тебе фастфуд

00:00:47.036 --> 00:00:50.048

Ни хрена ясно Я родился в Бруклине

00:00:50.052 --> 00:00:51.056

В Бруклине ясно

00:00:51.064 --> 00:00:55.998

Мой акцент бруклинский акцент ясно тебе Ясно

00:00:55.002 --> 00:00:56.044

Ну ладно успокойся чувак

00:00:56.052 --> 00:00:58.056

Так ты заменишь меня в пятницу или как

00:00:58.068 --> 00:01:01.048

Если комиссионные мои с удовольствием

00:01:01.056 --> 00:01:04.028

Замётано Отлично папаша Не вопрос

00:01:07.012 --> 00:01:08.072

А как насчет Энди Нет

00:01:09.998 --> 00:01:10.056

Блин для приличной игры в покер

00:01:10.064 --> 00:01:12.998

нужно минимум пять человек Ну да

00:01:12.016 --> 00:01:13.001

Если отменим игру

00:01:13.001 --> 00:01:15.999

мне придется идти на дурацкий день рождения с Джил

00:01:15.001 --> 00:01:16.088

а я не могу этого допустить

00:01:16.999 --> 00:01:18.036

Не пойдёт Почему

00:01:18.072 --> 00:01:22.998

Он неплохой парень и всё такое но я стопудово уверен

00:01:22.016 --> 00:01:23.048

что он серийный убийца

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.628

Este TV es fantástico No hay nada mejor que plasma

00:00:03.702 --> 00:00:05.294

Qué haces Es mi clienta

00:00:05.371 --> 00:00:08.568

Claro que no Cuando me acerqué estaba sin atender

00:00:08.641 --> 00:00:10.302

No es mi Espera

00:00:10.376 --> 00:00:12.435

Vaya a esa caja Retírelo allí por favor

00:00:12.511 --> 00:00:14.308

Estaba sin atender porque fui atrás

00:00:14.038 --> 00:00:16.177

a buscar el folleto que ella pidió

00:00:16.248 --> 00:00:19.342

Me disculpo pero ya es tarde La transacción está hecha

00:00:19.418 --> 00:00:21.147

Entonces me darás media comisión

00:00:21.022 --> 00:00:22.687

No recibirás nada de la comisión

00:00:22.755 --> 00:00:24.222

Hablaré con Paula Es una locura

00:00:24.029 --> 00:00:25.314

Es una idiotez

00:00:25.391 --> 00:00:27.256

Yo hago una venta y tú te quejas con Paula

00:00:27.326 --> 00:00:30.625

Por qué no vas con Jesse Jackson Necesita una causa

00:00:30.696 --> 00:00:33.824

Deja de robarme los clientes Y tú de llorar como un bebé

00:00:33.899 --> 00:00:36.891

Quieres seguir esto afuera Salgamos a pelear

00:00:36.969 --> 00:00:40.234

Quedémonos adentro para que todos vean lo marica que eres

00:00:40.306 --> 00:00:43.764

Cuando saque la cuchilla que tengo en mi bota

00:00:43.843 --> 00:00:46.676

no la guardaré hasta que haya derramado sangre

00:00:46.745 --> 00:00:50.998

Escúchame Te estás metiendo con el negro equivocado

00:00:50.616 --> 00:00:54.003

Oye Tú te estás metiendo con el moreno equivocado sí

00:00:54.999 --> 00:00:56.577

Viejo te colgaré el trasero del turbante

00:00:56.856 --> 00:00:59.848

Turbante Acaso ves algún maldito turbante

00:00:59.925 --> 00:01:01.586

Hablo como un tipo con turbante

00:01:01.066 --> 00:01:04.001

Acaso digo Oye Jay quieres un Slurpee

00:01:04.063 --> 00:01:07.861

Vete al diablo sí Yo nací en Brooklyn

00:01:07.001 --> 00:01:08.991

Brooklyn entiendes

00:01:09.998 --> 00:01:12.663

Mi acento es de Brooklyn entiendes Entiendes

00:01:12.738 --> 00:01:14.003

Está bien Cálmate viejo

00:01:14.014 --> 00:01:16.301

Oye aún cubrirás mi turno el viernes

00:01:16.375 --> 00:01:19.031

Si puedo quedarme esta comisión con gusto

00:01:19.378 --> 00:01:22.245

Genial entonces Bien papi No hay problema

Available in 8 languages

Duration

83 seconds

Views

1,822

Timestamp in Movie

00:06:08

Uploaded

Feb 16, 2026

Genres

comedy, romance

Production

Universal Pictures,Apatow Productions

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Movie Summary

Goaded by his buddies, a nerdy guy who's never "done the deed" only finds the pressure mounting when he meets a single mother.

Actors

Mooj

Jay