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Andy Stitzer: [drunk] You know the thing about relationships is that they make one person go,
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You know the thing about relationships is that they make one...

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Andy Stitzer:
[drunk]
You know the thing about relationships is that they make one person go, "Blah blah blah blah blah," and the other person go, "What are you talking about?" And then one person goes, "Blah blah blah blah blah."
Cal:
How much have you had to drink, man?
Andy Stitzer:
Oh, how much have I had to drink? Hey, how many pots have you smoken?
Cal:
What are you talking about?
Andy Stitzer:
Oh, how many times have you gone to the bathroom in your life? Let me ask you that. You know what, you don't have an answer for that, do you? Who the fuck you, man? I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, you're such a good guy, and I appreciate you.

Transcript:
Bag of sand?
You know what I mean.
Why don't we just play?
Why don't you just
deal the cards?
What are you
talking about?
Have you ever felt
a breast before, man?
Yes.
Dude, are you gay?
No, I'm not gay.
I've been with
tons of women.
I touched a guy's balls
at Hebrew school once.
Dude, it's not a big deal.
You like to fuck guys.
I'm cool. I got friends
who fuck guys, in jail.
No, I'm not gay.
No, I've borked a lot of women
in my day.
You've "borked"?
Hold up.
Yo, answer this question:
Are you a virgin?
Are you a virgin?
Yeah, not since I was 10.
It all makes sense.
You're a virgin.
I am... Shut up.
How does that happen?
He's a fucking virgin.
I knew it. That makes
so much sense, man.
Look, he's a virgin.
You guys are hilarious.
All right, come on,
don't be mean.
I'm not being mean.
I'm trying to
help the partner out.
I'm trying to say
I wanna get you laid, dude.
I understand
what's going on.
You guys are so up your asses.
From now on,
your dick is my dick.
I'm getting you some pussy.
[Men laughing]
A bag of sand! Come on, man!
You could do better than that.
God, me so horny?
Me so stupid!
[Yelling]
Oh, come on.
[Laughing]
It's gonna be fine.
They don't even remember.
Those guys are cool.

Clip duration: 104 seconds
Views: 66
Timestamp in movie: 00:12:53
Uploaded: 16 September, 2021
Genres: comedy, romance
Summary: Goaded by his buddies, a nerdy guy who's never "done the deed" only finds the pressure mounting when he meets a single mother.


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