To watch in HD, get ClipCafe PRO

Are you Andy YeahIs this yours Did you write this stuffMy girlfriend Jill found your speed dating cardYeah rightGod I've been looking for that speed dating cardThank you so much for bringing it to

The 40 Year Old Virgin

Hey, hey! Bitch's running wild, man

The 40 Year Old Virgin • 2005

Jill:
Are you Andy?Andy Stitzer:Uh... yeah.Jill: Is this yours? Did you write this stuff?Jay:My girlfriend Jill found *your* speed dating card.Andy Stitzer: Oh! Yeah... right. God, I've been looking for that speed dating card. Thank you so much for bringing it to me.Jill:So you actually wrote that one girl looked like she was "hurtin' for a squirtin'"?Andy Stitzer: Mmm-hmm... yeah, "hurtin' for a squirtin'". Yeah, I wrote that.Jill:Oh, so you wrote, "ho fo' sho'".Andy Stitzer: Yeah, I remember that girl. She was a ho... for sho'.Jill:You are never going to meet anyone with that kind of mentality about women, you sick son of a bitch!Andy Stitzer:Who the... Who the fuck are you to put me on trial? I've never even met you. So why don't you back the shit off, all right? And stop with the inquisition.Jill:That's how you talk?Andy Stitzer:You know what? I don't have to answer to you, you ain't my bitch! Know what I sayin'? So, shit, man... fuck it!Jill: You shouldn't even be hanging out with this pervert.Jay:I don't hang out with him! I work with him and that's it! I tried to introduce him to a few nice people, he made a fool of himself. I don't mess with him, baby. That's not me.Andy Stitzer:You should keep your ho on a leash.Jay:Oh, bro, I can't let you talk...Andy Stitzer:Hey!Jay:I can't let you be talking to my woman that way, dawg.Andy Stitzer:Hey, hey! Bitch's running wild, man

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.876

Are you Andy Yeah

00:00:02.096 --> 00:00:04.544

Is this yours Did you write this stuff

00:00:04.628 --> 00:00:07.297

My girlfriend Jill found your speed dating card

00:00:08.999 --> 00:00:09.341

Yeah right

00:00:09.425 --> 00:00:11.551

God I've been looking for that speed dating card

00:00:11.635 --> 00:00:13.428

Thank you so much for bringing it to me

00:00:13.512 --> 00:00:15.638

So you actually wrote that one girl looked like

00:00:15.723 --> 00:00:17.599

she was hurting for a squirting

00:00:17.892 --> 00:00:20.685

Mmm hmm Yeah Hurting for a squirting I wrote that

00:00:20.077 --> 00:00:23.104

So you wrote ho fo show

00:00:23.898 --> 00:00:26.399

Yeah I remember that girl She was a ho

00:00:27.001 --> 00:00:28.276

Fo show

00:00:28.486 --> 00:00:30.528

Let me show you how this device works

00:00:30.613 --> 00:00:32.322

Right I'm just looking for a cordless phone

00:00:32.406 --> 00:00:35.116

Yup it's great You can do anything make video diaries

00:00:35.201 --> 00:00:38.828

Hey Amy how's it going How you feeling I'm great

00:00:39.997 --> 00:00:41.664

I feel fantastic since we broke up

00:00:42.208 --> 00:00:43.833

I feel awesome

00:00:43.918 --> 00:00:46.544

Can you just show me the department where there would be phones

00:00:46.629 --> 00:00:48.797

How have you been What's been going on

00:00:48.881 --> 00:00:50.924

I bet Hey have you been doing a lot of this

00:00:53.026 --> 00:00:54.594

Sir please sir

00:00:54.678 --> 00:00:56.137

You are never gonna meet anybody

00:00:56.222 --> 00:00:58.848

with that kind of mentality about women you sick son of a bitch

00:00:58.933 --> 00:01:00.683

Who the fuck are you to put me on trial

00:01:00.768 --> 00:01:02.394

I've never even met you

00:01:02.478 --> 00:01:04.687

So why don't you back the shit off all right

00:01:04.001 --> 00:01:06.773

And stop with the inquisition

00:01:06.899 --> 00:01:08.149

That's how you talk

00:01:08.999 --> 00:01:10.998

You know what I don't have to answer to you

00:01:10.152 --> 00:01:11.694

You ain't my bitch

00:01:11.779 --> 00:01:13.321

Know what I saying

00:01:13.001 --> 00:01:15.999

So shit man Fuck it

00:01:15.783 --> 00:01:17.999

You shouldn't even be hanging out with this pervert

00:01:17.091 --> 00:01:20.001

I don't hang out with him I work with him and that's it

00:01:20.121 --> 00:01:21.788

I tried to introduce him to a few nice people

00:01:21.872 --> 00:01:22.956

he made a fool of himself

00:01:23.006 --> 00:01:24.999

I don't mess with him baby That's not me

00:01:24.792 --> 00:01:27.048

You should keep your ho on a leash

00:01:27.999 --> 00:01:28.711

Bro I can't let you Hey

00:01:28.001 --> 00:01:30.964

I can't let you be talking to my woman like that dawg

00:01:31.002 --> 00:01:33.999

Know what I'm saying Bitch is running wild man

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.087

C'est ça La gazelle en rose

00:00:05.338 --> 00:00:07.214

Oh Merde Salut

00:00:07.214 --> 00:00:08.841

Vous cherchez un appareil numérique

00:00:08.966 --> 00:00:10.759

Il ne le fera pas de son propre chef

00:00:10.843 --> 00:00:13.595

Non Il faut lui faciliter la tâche

00:00:13.637 --> 00:00:15.138

Hé Andy Oui

00:00:15.018 --> 00:00:16.598

Quoi de neuf mon gars Lci Jay

00:00:16.848 --> 00:00:17.933

Salut Jay

00:00:18.998 --> 00:00:19.476

J'organise une fête ce soir

00:00:19.476 --> 00:00:21.144

L'ambiance sera détendue décontractée

00:00:21.311 --> 00:00:22.395

Il faut que tu viennes

00:00:22.395 --> 00:00:24.772

Ça sera très haut en couleur

00:00:25.356 --> 00:00:26.566

Es tu libre

00:00:27.525 --> 00:00:28.484

Je crois qu'oui

00:00:28.484 --> 00:00:31.278

Je plaisantais mon gars Je sais que tu es libre

00:00:31.278 --> 00:00:32.404

D'accord Je te laisse

00:00:32.404 --> 00:00:33.078

D'accord salut

00:00:36.158 --> 00:00:38.243

Dis donc Montel

00:00:38.577 --> 00:00:41.454

pourquoi tu ne nous as pas invités On fait partie d'Al Qaeda

00:00:41.704 --> 00:00:42.664

Non Holà

00:00:42.747 --> 00:00:44.916

Non Ce n'est pas ce genre de soirée

00:00:44.916 --> 00:00:46.792

On ne t'invitera pas non plus d'accord

00:00:46.834 --> 00:00:47.918

Va te faire voir

00:00:48.024 --> 00:00:49.067

Il ne s'agit pas de ce genre de fête

00:00:49.067 --> 00:00:51.588

Encule une chèvre Oui

00:00:51.588 --> 00:00:53.423

Pourquoi tu me dis tout le temps ça

00:00:53.507 --> 00:00:54.466

Encule une chèvre

00:01:10.001 --> 00:01:11.482

Allô

00:01:13.999 --> 00:01:14.776

Allô

00:01:16.361 --> 00:01:17.696

Allô

00:01:19.239 --> 00:01:20.824

Salut

00:01:21.866 --> 00:01:24.202

Êtes vous là pour la fête Oui

00:01:24.619 --> 00:01:26.001

J'en suis l'incarnation

00:01:27.913 --> 00:01:30.791

Vous ne me rendez pas service avec une prostituée travestie

00:01:30.958 --> 00:01:33.127

Quoi Personne n'a engagé de travestie

00:01:33.127 --> 00:01:34.211

De quoi tu parles

00:01:34.211 --> 00:01:36.994

Elle était très gentille en passant

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.126

Er hat sich blamiert

00:00:02.217 --> 00:00:03.009

Hab nichts mit ihm zu tun Ich nicht

00:00:03.998 --> 00:00:06.333

Du solltest deine Schlampe mal in Ketten legen

00:00:06.431 --> 00:00:08.114

Bruder ich lass nicht zu Hey

00:00:08.212 --> 00:00:10.464

Ich lass nicht zu dass du so mit ihr redest

00:00:10.558 --> 00:00:12.763

Alles klar Das Miststück dreht durch Mann

00:00:12.861 --> 00:00:16.239

Den Arsch hättest du haben können Der Arsch eines freien Mannes

00:00:16.336 --> 00:00:18.767

Dieser Arsch geht heute aus In einen Club

00:00:18.856 --> 00:00:20.587

Vielleicht in einen Nachtclub

00:00:20.681 --> 00:00:22.999

Hey Andy

00:00:22.158 --> 00:00:24.588

Sieh dir deinen Kumpel an Oh mein Gott

00:00:24.678 --> 00:00:27.322

Ja er führt 'ne öffentliche Darmspiegelung durch

00:00:27.415 --> 00:00:28.838

Ist das nicht reizend

00:00:28.936 --> 00:00:30.359

Ich schicke ihn nach Hause

00:00:30.456 --> 00:00:31.749

Du wirst für ihn einspringen

00:00:31.847 --> 00:00:33.625

Was Ich soll verkaufen Genau

00:00:33.715 --> 00:00:34.795

Das ist keine gute Idee

00:00:34.888 --> 00:00:36.062

Und du musst mit den Leuten reden

00:00:36.712 --> 00:00:38.396

Das ist beängstigend für dich

00:00:38.495 --> 00:00:39.752

aber du kriegst das hin

00:00:39.084 --> 00:00:41.654

Geh da raus und verkauf gefälligst was

00:00:41.753 --> 00:00:43.353

für Amy

00:00:43.447 --> 00:00:44.964

Aufhören Sieh's dir an

00:00:45.002 --> 00:00:48.136

Sie fehlt mir so

00:00:49.486 --> 00:00:51.525

Der Verkauf ist das beste Aphrodisiakum

00:00:51.614 --> 00:00:53.476

Du musst dir nur eine aussuchen

00:00:53.057 --> 00:00:56.865

Komm schon Mann Ok

00:00:56.959 --> 00:00:58.903

Du könntest ruhig etwas begeisterter sein

00:00:59.767 --> 00:01:00.294

Ja

00:01:01.607 --> 00:01:04.985

Gut so Gut so Die Gazelle in dem pinkfarbenen Top

00:01:06.212 --> 00:01:07.999

Oh Scheiße Hi

00:01:08.001 --> 00:01:10.111

Sie interessieren sich für Digitalkameras

00:01:10.999 --> 00:01:12.202

Weißt du was Freiwillig macht er nichts

00:01:12.001 --> 00:01:15.248

Wir werden da wohl etwas nachhelfen müssen

00:01:15.336 --> 00:01:16.889

He Andy Ja

00:01:16.999 --> 00:01:18.587

Was geht ab Alter Hier ist Jay

00:01:18.682 --> 00:01:19.999

Hey Jay

00:01:20.003 --> 00:01:21.589

Ich schmeiß heut Abend 'ne Party

00:01:21.001 --> 00:01:23.458

Das wird total relaxt

00:01:23.548 --> 00:01:24.999

Und du musst auch kommen

00:01:24.001 --> 00:01:27.089

Es wird wahnsinnig wahnsinnig farbig

00:01:27.979 --> 00:01:30.001

Hast du Zeit

00:01:30.238 --> 00:01:31.318

Ja ich denke schon

00:01:31.411 --> 00:01:34.185

Ein Scherz Mann Ich weiß dass du Zeit hast

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.131

You shouldn't even be hanging out with this pervert

00:00:03.218 --> 00:00:05.436

I don't hang out with him I work with him and that's it

00:00:05.523 --> 00:00:07.262

I tried to introduce him to a few nice people

00:00:07.349 --> 00:00:08.048

he made a fool of himself

00:00:08.567 --> 00:00:10.307

I don't mess with him baby That's not me

00:00:10.394 --> 00:00:12.699

You should keep your ho on a leash

00:00:12.786 --> 00:00:14.525

Bro I can't let you Hey

00:00:14.569 --> 00:00:16.083

I can't let you be talking to my woman like that dawg

00:00:16.917 --> 00:00:19.179

Know what I'm saying Bitch is running wild man

00:00:19.266 --> 00:00:22.614

You miss that ass That's the ass of a free man

00:00:22.702 --> 00:00:25.018

That ass is going out tonight maybe to a club

00:00:25.224 --> 00:00:26.877

Maybe to a night club

00:00:27.001 --> 00:00:28.486

Hey Andy

00:00:28.529 --> 00:00:30.964

take a look at your pal Oh my God

00:00:31.052 --> 00:00:33.705

Yeah he's performing a public colonoscopy

00:00:33.791 --> 00:00:35.027

Isn't that sweet

00:00:35.313 --> 00:00:36.879

I'm gonna send David home for the day

00:00:36.966 --> 00:00:38.184

and you're gonna fill in for him

00:00:38.227 --> 00:00:40.998

What Selling things You got that right

00:00:40.001 --> 00:00:41.358

I don't think that's a good idea

00:00:41.446 --> 00:00:43.055

And you're gonna have to talk to people too

00:00:43.999 --> 00:00:44.794

I know that's a frightening concept to you

00:00:44.881 --> 00:00:46.186

but I think you can handle it

00:00:46.023 --> 00:00:48.997

So get out there and start selling some shit

00:00:48.143 --> 00:00:49.491

thing for Amy

00:00:49.882 --> 00:00:51.405

Hold it Check it out

00:00:51.448 --> 00:00:52.927

David I miss her

00:00:53.188 --> 00:00:54.071

music playing

00:00:55.928 --> 00:00:57.972

Dude the floor's the ultimate aphrodisiac

00:00:58.058 --> 00:00:59.929

All you got to do is go make your pick now

00:00:59.972 --> 00:01:02.451

Come on man Okay

00:01:03.277 --> 00:01:05.322

And you could act a little enthused about it

00:01:05.408 --> 00:01:06.539

Yeah

00:01:08.001 --> 00:01:11.366

Jay That's right That's right Gazelle in the pink top

00:01:12.584 --> 00:01:14.367

Jay Oh shit Hi

00:01:14.411 --> 00:01:16.999

Andy Looks like you're checking out digital cameras

00:01:16.629 --> 00:01:18.672

You know what he ain't going to do it willingly

00:01:18.999 --> 00:01:21.673

No We need to like really facilitate things a bit more

00:01:21.001 --> 00:01:23.037

Yo Andy Andy Yeah

00:01:23.413 --> 00:01:25.996

What's up dude This is Jay man

00:01:25.999 --> 00:01:26.413

Hey Jay

00:01:26.544 --> 00:01:28.006

I am throwing a party tonight

00:01:28.011 --> 00:01:29.893

It's gonna be real mellow just chilled up

00:01:29.098 --> 00:01:31.001

Now you really need to be there

00:01:31.502 --> 00:01:34.155

It's gonna be really really colorful

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.773

Aku bisa merasakanmu

00:00:24.461 --> 00:00:26.233

Putera Poseidon

00:00:28.736 --> 00:00:31.447

Aku dulu pernah berkencan dengan Ayahmu

00:00:44.168 --> 00:00:47.713

Butuh bantuan Grover Tolong

00:00:50.216 --> 00:00:52.823

Terima kasih Oke Ayo kita pergi

00:01:00.539 --> 00:01:03.875

Ku dengar kau punya petir

00:01:04.501 --> 00:01:06.378

Boleh ku lihat

00:01:07.108 --> 00:01:08.776

Aku tak punya

00:01:11.999 --> 00:01:14.824

Biar ku lihat matamu

00:01:14.928 --> 00:01:18.089

Ku dengar matamu lebih biru dari Laut Circassia

00:01:20.006 --> 00:01:21.914

Bukalah

00:01:22.227 --> 00:01:27.858

atau bayi bayiku yang kelaparan akan membukakannya untukmu

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.004

Энди Да

00:00:02.052 --> 00:00:03.092

Как жизнь чувак Это Джей

00:00:04.008 --> 00:00:05.002

Здравствуй Джей

00:00:05.036 --> 00:00:06.076

У меня сегодня вечеринка

00:00:06.008 --> 00:00:08.048

Всё будет очень спокойно не напряжно

00:00:08.056 --> 00:00:09.088

Приходи обязательно не пожалеешь

00:00:09.096 --> 00:00:12.036

Будет очень очень клёво

00:00:12.064 --> 00:00:13.084

Ты свободен

00:00:14.072 --> 00:00:15.072

Вряд ли

00:00:15.008 --> 00:00:18.012

Я пошутил знаю что свободен

00:00:18.004 --> 00:00:19.068

Хорошо Мне пора

00:00:19.076 --> 00:00:20.084

Договорились Пока

00:00:23.048 --> 00:00:25.052

Монтел

00:00:25.088 --> 00:00:28.084

а почему нас не приглашаешь на вечеринку Мы для тебя кто Аль Каида

00:00:28.088 --> 00:00:29.096

Да нет погодите

00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:32.998

это не то что вы

00:00:32.002 --> 00:00:34.012

Ладно мы тебя на свои вечеринки тоже не позовём

00:00:34.024 --> 00:00:35.024

Пошёл ты

00:00:35.032 --> 00:00:36.096

Во первых это не совсем обычная вечеринка

00:00:37.998 --> 00:00:38.084

Трахни козла Да

00:00:38.096 --> 00:00:40.072

Почему ты всё время предлагаешь мне трахнуть козла

00:00:40.076 --> 00:00:41.068

Козла

00:00:57.064 --> 00:00:58.076

Хэллоу

00:01:00.096 --> 00:01:02.999

Здесь есть кто нибудь

00:01:03.076 --> 00:01:04.092

Приветик

00:01:06.048 --> 00:01:08.998

Здравствуйте Привет

00:01:09.006 --> 00:01:11.044

Вы пришли на вечеринку Джея Да

00:01:11.088 --> 00:01:13.001

Я и есть его вечеринка

00:01:15.002 --> 00:01:18.012

Вы решили помочь мне и наняли проститутку трансвестита

00:01:18.999 --> 00:01:20.001

Что Какого такого трансвестита

00:01:20.048 --> 00:01:21.048

Кстати

00:01:21.052 --> 00:01:23.028

она очень симпатичная

00:01:23.036 --> 00:01:25.000

Если эта сестрёнка трансвестит

00:01:25.998 --> 00:01:27.998

то она Мона Лиза трансвеститов

00:01:27.016 --> 00:01:29.000

Так тебе транс отсосал

00:01:29.006 --> 00:01:32.999

Она ведь теперь наша да Мы вообще то деньги заплатили

00:01:32.999 --> 00:01:33.999

Да иди ты в жопу

00:01:33.001 --> 00:01:35.999

Парни может вы меня не любите

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.399

Tú eres Andy Sí

00:00:02.468 --> 00:00:04.299

Esto es tuyo Tú escribiste esto

00:00:04.037 --> 00:00:07.203

Mi novia Jill encontró tu tarjeta del Citódromo

00:00:07.907 --> 00:00:09.204

Sí claro

00:00:09.275 --> 00:00:11.709

Dios la estuve buscando por todos lados

00:00:11.777 --> 00:00:13.267

Muchas gracias por traérmela

00:00:13.346 --> 00:00:15.028

Tú escribiste que una chica parecía

00:00:15.348 --> 00:00:17.509

estar muriendo por un chorro

00:00:18.451 --> 00:00:20.544

Sí Muriendo por un chorro yo escribí eso

00:00:20.062 --> 00:00:22.952

Así que escribiste perra en celo

00:00:23.723 --> 00:00:26.214

Sí ya recuerdo esa chica Era una perra

00:00:26.926 --> 00:00:28.012

En celo

00:00:28.527 --> 00:00:30.392

Le mostraré cómo funciona este aparato

00:00:30.463 --> 00:00:32.192

Sólo quiero un teléfono inalámbrico

00:00:32.265 --> 00:00:34.995

Es genial Puede hacer muchas cosas diarios visuales

00:00:35.067 --> 00:00:38.764

Hola Amy cómo estás Cómo te sientes Yo muy bien

00:00:38.871 --> 00:00:41.499

Me siento fantástico desde que rompimos

00:00:42.997 --> 00:00:43.668

Me siento fabuloso

00:00:43.743 --> 00:00:46.405

Puede mostrarme dónde sí hay teléfonos

00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:48.947

Cómo has estado Qué estuviste haciendo

00:00:49.001 --> 00:00:51.882

Apuesto Oye has estado haciendo mucho de esto

00:00:53.001 --> 00:00:54.045

Señor por favor señor

00:00:54.052 --> 00:00:55.987

Nunca hallarás a nadie

00:00:56.055 --> 00:00:58.717

con ese tipo de mentalidad sobre las mujeres pervertido

00:00:58.791 --> 00:01:00.052

Quién diablos eres para juzgarme

00:01:00.593 --> 00:01:02.254

Ni siquiera te conozco

00:01:02.328 --> 00:01:04.523

Por qué no te calmas

00:01:04.999 --> 00:01:06.622

Y terminas con la inquisición

00:01:06.999 --> 00:01:07.992

Así hablas

00:01:08.993 --> 00:01:09.083

Sabes qué No tengo que contestarte

00:01:09.902 --> 00:01:11.529

No eres mi perra

00:01:11.604 --> 00:01:13.001

Entiendes lo que digo

00:01:13.239 --> 00:01:15.999

Así que mierda Vete al diablo

00:01:15.001 --> 00:01:17.675

No deberías juntarte con este pervertido

00:01:17.999 --> 00:01:19.087

No me junto con él Trabajo con él y nada más

00:01:19.999 --> 00:01:21.064

Traté de presentarle gente agradable

00:01:21.714 --> 00:01:22.806

y quedó como un tonto

00:01:22.001 --> 00:01:24.001

No me meto con él nena Yo no soy así

00:01:24.617 --> 00:01:26.999

Deberías controlar a tu perra

00:01:26.919 --> 00:01:28.058

Hermano no puedo dejarte Oye

00:01:28.654 --> 00:01:30.815

No puedo dejar que le hables así a mi mujer

00:01:30.089 --> 00:01:33.002

Entiendes los que digo Tu perra anda suelta

00:01:33.125 --> 00:01:36.999

Extrañas este culo Es el culo de un hombre libre

Available in 7 languages

Duration

94 seconds

Views

3,616

Timestamp in Movie

00:59:49

Uploaded

Feb 16, 2026

Genres

comedy, romance

Production

Universal Pictures,Apatow Productions

Want This Clip in HD?

Upgrade for HD/4K downloads and unlimited access. Upgrade now →

Movie Summary

Goaded by his buddies, a nerdy guy who's never "done the deed" only finds the pressure mounting when he meets a single mother.

Actors

Jill

Erica Vittina Phillips

Andy Stitzer

Jay

Andy