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"The Adventures of Ford Fairlane" quotes

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane poster
A vulgar private detective is hired to find a missing groupie and is drawn into a mystery involving a series of murders tied to the music industry.

Director: Renny Harlin
Writer: Daniel Waters, James Cappe, David Arnott
Production: N/A
Genre: action, adventure, comedy
Year: 1990
MetaScore: 24/100
ImdbRating: 6.4
BoxOffice: $21,413,502
Released: 11 Jul 1990
Awards: 5 wins & 3 nominations

61 video clips

Ford FairlaneDon ClevelandColleen SuttonLt. AmosJazzTwin Club GirlZuzu PetalsSmileyFord FairelaineAmiable TouristJulian GrendelSlam The RapperJohnny CrunchPunk Gunslinger
Ford So many assholes - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:10 Ford So many assholes Don You got to shave - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:17 Don You got to shave Nothing offends me - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:18 Nothing offends me Hey great pipes huh all laughing - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:09 Hey great pipes huh all laughing And what are your names Neil and Bob - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:12 And what are your names Neil and Bob Ford Talking to Zuzu was like masturbating with a cheese grater - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:14 Ford Talking to Zuzu was like masturbating with a cheese... Have a Twinkie snapper head - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:05 Have a Twinkie snapper head You think you're so hot 'cause you get in all the clubs huh - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:17 You think you're so hot 'cause you get in all the... Yeah Well that weekend was a mistake - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:18 Yeah Well that weekend was a mistake You didn't really think we'd kill the flucking koala bear now did you - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:07 You didn't really think we'd kill the flucking... Hey look Write down my number - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:19 Hey look Write down my number What's the definition of vagina - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:08 What's the definition of vagina Are you calling me an asshole asshole - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:15 Are you calling me an asshole asshole Can somebody tell me what the fuck is going on like slowly - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:15 Can somebody tell me what the fuck is going on like slowly Come on come on Come on come on come on come on - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:05 Come on come on Come on come on come on come on Un fuckin' believable - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:13 Un fuckin' believable My hair My hair - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:06 My hair My hair Your assistant is quite special - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:10 Your assistant is quite special I'm very rich Nothing offends me - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:14 I'm very rich Nothing offends me 1962 Fender Stratocaster - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:18 1962 Fender Stratocaster It's all right If you fall I'll make it - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:07 It's all right If you fall I'll make it How much 300 - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:15 How much 300 Ford I coulda been a rock star - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:26 Ford I coulda been a rock star Two words Disco Express - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:40 Two words Disco Express I could crack my knuckles with more rhythm than that - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:07 I could crack my knuckles with more rhythm than that Do my dishes - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:12 Do my dishes You're 10 seconds away from the most embarrassing moment of your life - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:07 You're 10 seconds away from the most embarrassing... Clint Eastwood - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:09 Clint Eastwood Excuse me - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:15 Excuse me Here's to you buddy - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:36 Here's to you buddy My mother always said that - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:16 My mother always said that Oh no thanks - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:10 Oh no thanks Excuse me - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:09 Excuse me Damn baby - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:15 Damn baby With friends like you who needs enemas - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:12 With friends like you who needs enemas Here's to you buddy - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:13 Here's to you buddy You're breakin' me heart - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:12 You're breakin' me heart I don't need it that bad - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:04 I don't need it that bad I'll be at Julie Grendel's - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:10 I'll be at Julie Grendel's Say hello to Liberace asshole - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:04 Say hello to Liberace asshole I could've been anything I could've been a fisherman - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:23 I could've been anything I could've been a... Ford Some people play hard to get - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:07 Ford Some people play hard to get Johnny was the only guy who could out disgust me - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:17 Johnny was the only guy who could out disgust me Snapper head - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:06 Snapper head I can't believe anybody could have so much fuckin' fun - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:10 I can't believe anybody could have so much fuckin'... See that's the difference between a great investigator like me - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:22 See that's the difference between a great investigator... Maybe I did die in the explosion you know - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:08 Maybe I did die in the explosion you know All right - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:17 All right Hello hello - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:03 Hello hello What the hell does mano to mano mean - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:11 What the hell does mano to mano mean You stupid Sal's Pizza garlic breath smellin' - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:13 You stupid Sal's Pizza garlic breath smellin' Oh Arnie Sometimes when we touch - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:11 Oh Arnie Sometimes when we touch Ford I'm so terrifical I even had my own toll free number - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:09 Ford I'm so terrifical I even had my own toll free... Suzuki Samurai - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:12 Suzuki Samurai Oh no thanks - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:10 Oh no thanks And it'll make sure you're not late for your other clients - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:09 And it'll make sure you're not late for your other... Johnny on radio If there's any teenage virgins in the audience - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:11 Johnny on radio If there's any teenage virgins in the... Hello hello fuckface - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:04 Hello hello fuckface And now I'm on top of the Capitol Records building - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:08 And now I'm on top of the Capitol Records building Ford I'll take her with me - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:11 Ford I'll take her with me Move stupid I made it Okay - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 00:06 Move stupid I made it Okay

Cast

Ford Fairlane - Andrew Dice Clay
Julian Grendel - Wayne Newton
Colleen Sutton - Priscilla Presley
Don Cleveland - Morris Day
Jazz - Lauren Holly
All Cast