There's my friend Paul and right now I'm looking at his dinger. He's got a very huge...
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Bob Saget: There's my friend Paul and right now I'm looking at his dinger. He's got a very huge wiener. It's about that big...
[indicates the length of his throat]
Bob Saget: I believe that's Shandling's joke. When you lift something it better be a cock. Here we go. This family, mother, father, four kids. It doesn't matter if they're boys or girls they're gonna be used anyway...
[laughs]
Bob Saget: - as nothing more than a hole. This is what this joke is about anyway, it's about using your kids. They've got a paper route, they go to school and then you fuck 'em. And the agent's like, "What do you do?" and the father goes, "Watch us." He rips off his wife's bra. Then he rips off her underwear and he takes some of her pubes with it. It's awful and some blood starts dripping down her leg. He takes the tampon and throws it at the window and it sticks. They start going down on each other all different kinds of combinations, there's 69, there's 29, cause the kids are young, there's 9. The father bends the kid over the guy's desk and starts taking him from behind, which isn't right. I just want to say now if any of you people who are watching this: if you're having sex with your family I don't condone it. I think it's wrong I've done a lot of PSA's... do NOT fuck your family. So they're all fucking each other right. All of a sudden the kid can't take it, diarrhea starts shooting out of his ass. It's like a hemorrhaging shit-ass. The kid starts spinning around in a circle cause he can't control it. It's like Curly in the Stooges. "Moe, Larry, the cheese!" The projectile shit is just flying out of him it's going all over the room it's like spin art. You don't know whether to shit or puke in this room. That's how...
[starts laughing uncontrollably]
Bob Saget: What the fuck am I doing?
[indicates the length of his throat]
Bob Saget: I believe that's Shandling's joke. When you lift something it better be a cock. Here we go. This family, mother, father, four kids. It doesn't matter if they're boys or girls they're gonna be used anyway...
[laughs]
Bob Saget: - as nothing more than a hole. This is what this joke is about anyway, it's about using your kids. They've got a paper route, they go to school and then you fuck 'em. And the agent's like, "What do you do?" and the father goes, "Watch us." He rips off his wife's bra. Then he rips off her underwear and he takes some of her pubes with it. It's awful and some blood starts dripping down her leg. He takes the tampon and throws it at the window and it sticks. They start going down on each other all different kinds of combinations, there's 69, there's 29, cause the kids are young, there's 9. The father bends the kid over the guy's desk and starts taking him from behind, which isn't right. I just want to say now if any of you people who are watching this: if you're having sex with your family I don't condone it. I think it's wrong I've done a lot of PSA's... do NOT fuck your family. So they're all fucking each other right. All of a sudden the kid can't take it, diarrhea starts shooting out of his ass. It's like a hemorrhaging shit-ass. The kid starts spinning around in a circle cause he can't control it. It's like Curly in the Stooges. "Moe, Larry, the cheese!" The projectile shit is just flying out of him it's going all over the room it's like spin art. You don't know whether to shit or puke in this room. That's how...
[starts laughing uncontrollably]
Bob Saget: What the fuck am I doing?
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.795
That's my friend Paul and I'm looking at his dinger
00:00:03.836 --> 00:00:07.048
He's got a very huge wiener It's about that big
00:00:07.924 --> 00:00:10.051
I believe that's Shandling's joke I'm pretty sure
00:00:10.593 --> 00:00:13.513
When you lift something it better be a cock
00:00:13.554 --> 00:00:17.225
Once for Hanukkah he gave me some slim Tampax
00:00:17.266 --> 00:00:20.645
He said Leave 'em out so guys will think you're really tight
00:00:21.646 --> 00:00:23.481
Here we go This family
00:00:23.523 --> 00:00:25.004
mother father and four kids
00:00:25.441 --> 00:00:30.446
Doesn't matter if they're boys or girls they're going to be used anyway as just a hole
00:00:30.488 --> 00:00:33.007
It's what this joke's about anyway using your kid
00:00:33.741 --> 00:00:37.062
They have a paper route they go to school and then you fuck 'em
00:00:37.662 --> 00:00:42.959
His aim is to get as many disgusting thoughts into sentences as possible
00:00:43.767 --> 00:00:44.877
The agent goes What do you people do
00:00:44.919 --> 00:00:47.338
The father's like Watch us
00:00:47.038 --> 00:00:50.001
He takes his wife's bra and he rips off her underwear
00:00:50.133 --> 00:00:54.262
he takes some of her pubes with it it's horrible Blood starts dripping down her legs
00:00:54.304 --> 00:00:57.999
He pulls out the tampon throws it at the window and it sticks
00:00:57.014 --> 00:00:59.976
They go down on each other in different configurations
00:01:00.001 --> 00:01:02.645
it's 69 it's 29 cos the kids are young it's 9
00:01:02.687 --> 00:01:06.774
The father bends his kid over on the guy's desk and he's taking him from behind
00:01:06.816 --> 00:01:08.999
which isn't right
00:01:08.401 --> 00:01:11.321
If any of you people are doing this that are watching this
00:01:11.999 --> 00:01:14.907
if you're having sex with your family I don't condone it it's wrong
00:01:14.949 --> 00:01:18.286
I could do a lot of PSAs to support Do not fuck your family
00:01:18.328 --> 00:01:20.371
So they're all fucking each other right
00:01:20.413 --> 00:01:24.167
All of a sudden the kid can't take it diarrhoea starts squirting from his ass
00:01:24.208 --> 00:01:26.169
It's like a haemorrhaging shit ass
00:01:26.999 --> 00:01:30.923
The kid starts spinning in a circle cos he can't control it it's like Curly and the Stooges
00:01:31.005 --> 00:01:35.678
The projectile shit is just flying out it's going all over the room like spin art
00:01:35.072 --> 00:01:39.001
You don't know whether to shit or puke in this room
00:01:40.004 --> 00:01:42.518
What the fuck am I doing
00:01:45.396 --> 00:01:47.357
Then Wait there's more
00:01:47.398 --> 00:01:49.901
You get to be a comic for comics
00:01:49.999 --> 00:01:52.999
This is This is fun
00:01:52.779 --> 00:01:54.864
They start singing Make 'Em Laugh
00:01:55.999 --> 00:01:57.533
And Be A Clown
00:01:59.041 --> 00:02:03.456
The father's haemorrhoid pops so he grabs it and puts it on the end of his nose
00:02:03.539 --> 00:02:05.958
like Emmett Kelly except he's covered in shit
00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:08.013
Then they all start making out
00:02:09.999 --> 00:02:11.714
You know they're
00:02:11.756 --> 00:02:13.001
All kidding aside
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Movie Summary
One hundred superstar comedians tell the same very, VERY dirty, filthy joke--one shared privately by comics since Vaudeville.
