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"The Cable Guy" quotes

The Cable Guy poster
A lonely and mentally disturbed cable guy raised on television just wants a new friend, but his target, a designer, rejects him, with bad consequences.

Director: Ben Stiller
Writer: Lou Holtz Jr.
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, drama, thriller
Year: 1996
MetaScore: 56/100
ImdbRating: 6.1
BoxOffice: $60,240,295
Released: 14 Jun 1996
Awards: 3 wins & 2 nominations

79 video clips

The Cable GuySam SweetSteven M. KovacsHelicopter ParamedicSteven KovacsRobin HarrisMedieval Times HostCable GuyRickRobin's DateSteven's FatherHeatherEric Roberts
Dost thust have thou a mug of ale for me and me mate - The Cable Guy 00:26 Dost thust have thou a mug of ale for me and me mate You're sexy - The Cable Guy 00:36 You're sexy I have this friend and he gave his cable guy 50 - The Cable Guy 00:33 I have this friend and he gave his cable guy 50 Smells like heartbreak to me I don't want to discuss that - The Cable Guy 00:30 Smells like heartbreak to me I don't want to discuss... The old McNair place - The Cable Guy 00:19 The old McNair place Hey it's Steven I'm still trying to reach you - The Cable Guy 00:16 Hey it's Steven I'm still trying to reach you The comment card Please mail it in when I'm done - The Cable Guy 00:19 The comment card Please mail it in when I'm done Hey wait Come back - The Cable Guy 00:31 Hey wait Come back Open sesame - The Cable Guy 00:33 Open sesame I'm sorry Can you help me out - The Cable Guy 00:30 I'm sorry Can you help me out That guy is devoted to you - The Cable Guy 00:28 That guy is devoted to you Oh God - The Cable Guy 00:16 Oh God Oh shit - The Cable Guy 00:05 Oh shit That's so sad that you know that - The Cable Guy 00:36 That's so sad that you know that The future is now - The Cable Guy 00:25 The future is now Oh my God Oh my God My twin brother's been shot - The Cable Guy 00:21 Oh my God Oh my God My twin brother's been shot How do you know about us Free cable's an aphrodisiac - The Cable Guy 00:07 How do you know about us Free cable's an aphrodisiac Could I get a knife and fork There were none in mediaeval times - The Cable Guy 00:14 Could I get a knife and fork There were none in mediaeval... My brother is a speech therapist - The Cable Guy 00:07 My brother is a speech therapist Hi Is there a problem My cable's out - The Cable Guy 00:25 Hi Is there a problem My cable's out Hi Is there a problem My cable's out - The Cable Guy 01:03 Hi Is there a problem My cable's out The trouble with real life is there's no danger music - The Cable Guy 00:08 The trouble with real life is there's no danger music You were never there for me were you Mother - The Cable Guy 00:28 You were never there for me were you Mother This concludes our broadcast day Click - The Cable Guy 00:05 This concludes our broadcast day Click I'd strike while the iron is hot He who hesitates masturbates - The Cable Guy 00:08 I'd strike while the iron is hot He who hesitates... Preferred customer my ass - The Cable Guy 00:05 Preferred customer my ass She said I pressed too hard Women are a labyrinth my friend - The Cable Guy 00:43 She said I pressed too hard Women are a labyrinth my friend One guy doing another guy a solid That is so nice - The Cable Guy 00:12 One guy doing another guy a solid That is so nice Let the games begin The blue knight rules - The Cable Guy 00:19 Let the games begin The blue knight rules I don't believe you It's another trick - The Cable Guy 00:16 I don't believe you It's another trick I don't ever want to see you again Robin will never forgive me - The Cable Guy 00:27 I don't ever want to see you again Robin will never... Quickly Muster atop your steed - The Cable Guy 00:13 Quickly Muster atop your steed I asked a woman to marry me once - The Cable Guy 00:06 I asked a woman to marry me once Reality isn't Father Knows Best anymore - The Cable Guy 00:16 Reality isn't Father Knows Best anymore You're right That's incredibly insightful - The Cable Guy 00:10 You're right That's incredibly insightful I can be your friend or your enemy You seem to prefer the latter - The Cable Guy 00:07 I can be your friend or your enemy You seem to prefer the... I just want to hang out No big deal - The Cable Guy 00:06 I just want to hang out No big deal I was just blow drying my hair Thought I heard the phone ring - The Cable Guy 00:32 I was just blow drying my hair Thought I heard the phone... Squad 51 Man down Possible back injury - The Cable Guy 00:23 Squad 51 Man down Possible back injury I don't know what your story is but I'm going to find out - The Cable Guy 00:16 I don't know what your story is but I'm going to... I don't listen to you I pretend to understand - The Cable Guy 00:19 I don't listen to you I pretend to understand Pretty smooth work I set them up you knock them down - The Cable Guy 01:06 Pretty smooth work I set them up you knock them down Stevie time to leavie - The Cable Guy 00:19 Stevie time to leavie Dry land is not a myth Kevin Costner Waterworld - The Cable Guy 00:15 Dry land is not a myth Kevin Costner Waterworld I'll juice you up - The Cable Guy 00:05 I'll juice you up Wake up Smell the smelling salt - The Cable Guy 00:06 Wake up Smell the smelling salt I forgive you I only hope my neurologist will feel the same - The Cable Guy 00:08 I forgive you I only hope my neurologist will feel the same You have to admit it's a cool place for an ending - The Cable Guy 00:09 You have to admit it's a cool place for an ending You'll have to do better than that Steven - The Cable Guy 00:20 You'll have to do better than that Steven I love this game - The Cable Guy 00:06 I love this game Hey Rick I never made a slam dunk before Thanks for the boost - The Cable Guy 00:08 Hey Rick I never made a slam dunk before Thanks for the... Can't you ask someone else to go Maybe I'll take my cable guy - The Cable Guy 00:08 Can't you ask someone else to go Maybe I'll take... Cable guy - The Cable Guy 00:30 Cable guy What are you doing - The Cable Guy 00:25 What are you doing I'll be your pal Just come on up - The Cable Guy 00:33 I'll be your pal Just come on up This is the man who framed me - The Cable Guy 00:10 This is the man who framed me Chip and Ernie Douglas I have a list of ex cable men - The Cable Guy 00:45 Chip and Ernie Douglas I have a list of ex cable men It's me again I was taking a whiz Thought you might have called - The Cable Guy 00:07 It's me again I was taking a whiz Thought you might... Cable guy - The Cable Guy 00:05 Cable guy Wait Cable guy - The Cable Guy 00:22 Wait Cable guy You two will be just fine - The Cable Guy 00:46 You two will be just fine Nice jump Spiderman - The Cable Guy 00:06 Nice jump Spiderman Come back so that I may brain thee - The Cable Guy 00:06 Come back so that I may brain thee I got you the big screen TV deluxe karaoke machine - The Cable Guy 00:13 I got you the big screen TV deluxe karaoke machine You never told me your real name - The Cable Guy 01:01 You never told me your real name Can I have your skin Check this out - The Cable Guy 00:21 Can I have your skin Check this out Hi Is there a problem My cable's out - The Cable Guy 00:08 Hi Is there a problem My cable's out Let's go What's going on - The Cable Guy 00:20 Let's go What's going on You do Sure - The Cable Guy 00:34 You do Sure We love you I hate you Get out of my life - The Cable Guy 00:17 We love you I hate you Get out of my life I came as soon as I could - The Cable Guy 00:24 I came as soon as I could Penis Vagina - The Cable Guy 00:17 Penis Vagina Erection No But thanks for noticing - The Cable Guy 00:07 Erection No But thanks for noticing I'm just here to comfort you - The Cable Guy 00:53 I'm just here to comfort you Hey I'm Steven Heather - The Cable Guy 00:13 Hey I'm Steven Heather Tonight on UPN The trial that has captured the nation - The Cable Guy 00:30 Tonight on UPN The trial that has captured the nation Who is it lt's the cable guy - The Cable Guy 00:41 Who is it lt's the cable guy Don't mess around with my life l wanted to make things up to you - The Cable Guy 00:39 Don't mess around with my life l wanted to make things...

Cast

The Cable Guy - Jim Carrey
Steven M. Kovacs - Matthew Broderick
Robin Harris - Leslie Mann
Rick - Jack Black
Steven's Father - George Segal
All Cast