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The Comedian

"I admit to assault and batteryon Mr. Severin." I recognize that I actedin a weak and...

"I admit to assault and battery
on Mr. Severin." I recognize that I acted
in a weak and violent manner

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.419
"I admit to assault and battery on Mr. Severin."
00:00:03.586 --> 00:00:05.922
I recognize that I acted in a weak and violent manner...
Duration
7 seconds
Views
28
Timestamp in Movie
00:10:55
Uploaded
Oct 31, 2025
Genres
comedy, drama, romance
Production
Anvil Films,Cinelou Films,The Linson Company

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Movie Summary

A look at the life of an aging insult comic named Jack Burke.
...and I will aggressively take steps to ensure that it will never happen again. - The Comedian 00:06
...and I will aggressively take steps to ensure that it will...
"I also apologize to the court and to my fans." - The Comedian 00:09
"I also apologize to the court and to my fans."
Come on, he can do better than that. This is insulting. I'm hurt. - The Comedian 00:06
Come on, he can do better than that. This is insulting. I�...
Excuse me, Your Honor, but I think the defendant can do better than that. - The Comedian 00:06
Excuse me, Your Honor, but I think the defendant can do bett...
...it has not been proven in this courtroom that Mr. Severin, in fact, has a brain. - The Comedian 00:05
...it has not been proven in this courtroom that Mr. Severin...
Mr. Berkowitz, do not test me today in my court. - The Comedian 00:07
Mr. Berkowitz, do not test me today in my court.
Take him out of here. Nassau County Correctional Facility for 30 days. - The Comedian 00:06
Take him out of here. Nassau County Correctional Facility fo...
Okay, gentlemen. Ready? Let's give a warm welcome to our newest resident. - The Comedian 00:07
Okay, gentlemen. Ready? Let's give a warm welcome to ou...
Suck my dick, asshole! You gonna be my bitch. - The Comedian 00:06
Suck my dick, asshole! You gonna be my bitch.
I'd try it out on you, but you never, you know-- - The Comedian 00:08
I'd try it out on you, but you never, you know--
Can you imagine if I had to be an audience for all my comics? - The Comedian 00:05
Can you imagine if I had to be an audience for all my comics...
"You laughed at his joke, you didn't laugh at mine." - The Comedian 00:10
"You laughed at his joke, you didn't laugh at mine...
I will get you Indian Casino, Princess Cruise... - The Comedian 00:06
I will get you Indian Casino, Princess Cruise...
But as you know, they are hiring "Eddie." - The Comedian 00:07
But as you know, they are hiring "Eddie."
"Miller the Killer" I'd call him because your old man would kill to get me a gig. - The Comedian 00:05
"Miller the Killer" I'd call him because your...
Yeah. Yeah. He loved it when you called him that. - The Comedian 00:06
Yeah. Yeah. He loved it when you called him that.
- What are you doing here? - Happy Thanksgiving, baby. - The Comedian 00:06
- What are you doing here? - Happy Thanksgiving, baby.
Let me make this simple for you: I need you to come back. - The Comedian 00:05
Let me make this simple for you: I need you to come back.
Those old people are not happy because you're not there to take care of them. - The Comedian 00:06
Those old people are not happy because you're not there...
See. That's what you do. Don't say things like that. - The Comedian 00:05
See. That's what you do. Don't say things like tha...