Life could not better be / Better be, better be / It could not possibly / No sirrah,...

[first lines] Hawkins: Life could not better be / Better be, better be / It could not possibly / No sirrah, sir-rah, sirree! / Songs could not gayer be / Sound your do-re-o-mi, re-mi-fa-so-la-see, fa-la-la-la follow me! / Why be gloomy? / Cut thy nose off to spite thy face? / Listen to me / A nose is hard to replace! / Skies could not bluer be / Hearts in love truer be / I say for you or me / Life couldn't possibly, not even probably / Life couldn't possibly better be! Life could not better be / On a medieval spree / Knights full of chivalry / Villains full of villainy! / You see, as you suspect / Maidens fair in silks bedecked / Each pride and true effect / For the umpteenth time we resurrect! / We did research / Authenticity was a must! / Zooks! Did we search! / And what did we find? Ah-choo! A lot of dust! / After the dust had cleared / Half the cast had a beard / And I'm the one, as you can see / For whom the bell tolls merrily. / We asked Shakespeare / And Francis Bacon, "Would they declare / which one wrote this?" / And they both said, "Get outta there!" / Which brings us to the plot / Plot we've got quite a lot / As it unfolds, you'll see / What starts like a scary tale, ends like a fairy tale / And life couldn't possibly better be!