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The Dictator

Wait, wait. Wait. Allison, before we go any further, there's something thatI want to tell...

Wait, wait. Wait. Allison, before we go any further, there's something thatI want to tell you. You've got a dick. I knew it. Allison, I don't have a dick. Great! And I've never beenwith a guy with a dick. Or any guy. Or boys. Just girls. And children. Not male ones. Female ones

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.334
Wait wait
00:00:02.668 --> 00:00:04.998
Wait
00:00:05.963 --> 00:00:08.131
Allison before we go any further
00:00:09.991 --> 00:00:11.001
there's something that I want to tell you
00:00:11.344 --> 00:00:13.929
You've got a dick I knew it
00:00:14.068 --> 00:00:16.806
Allison I don't have a dick
00:00:17.058 --> 00:00:18.308
Great
00:00:18.684 --> 00:00:21.061
And I've never been with a guy with a dick
00:00:21.027 --> 00:00:22.562
Or any guy
00:00:24.231 --> 00:00:25.273
Or boys
00:00:27.443 --> 00:00:28.061
Just girls
00:00:29.987 --> 00:00:31.002
And children
00:00:31.572 --> 00:00:34.407
Not male ones Female ones
Available in 7 languages
Duration
36 seconds
Views
73
Timestamp in Movie
01:10:55
Uploaded
Feb 21, 2026
Genres
comedy
Production
Paramount Pictures,Berg Mandel Schaffer Productions,Scott Rudin Productions,Four by Two Films

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Movie Summary

The heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.
What I wanted to tell you was this. - The Dictator 00:23
What I wanted to tell you was this.
I really want to be with you Allison Burgers - The Dictator 00:12
I really want to be with you Allison Burgers
And you're wanted for war crimes - The Dictator 00:07
And you're wanted for war crimes
With the signing of the constitution tomorrow morning, democracy in Wadiya is just hours away, and people are in the streets celebrating. - The Dictator 00:14
With the signing of the constitution tomorrow morning,...
What do you think of Admiral General Aladeen? - The Dictator 00:20
What do you think of Admiral General Aladeen?
You are such a schmuckWhy are you speaking Yiddish I picked it upWhat do you mean I picked it up Who picks up YiddishI'm in New YorkWe're trying to erase that country off the mapI don't like the people but I like the way thattheir words really sound like - The Dictator 00:17
You are such a schmuckWhy are you speaking Yiddish I picked...
Look where has being a nice guy gotten you huhStanding on the edge of a bridge about to commit suicideStill wearing CrocsWhat's wrong with CrocsThey are the universal symbol of a man who has given up hopeYou might as well put sweatpants onand go to - The Dictator 00:21
Look where has being a nice guy gotten you huhStanding on...
If this constitution is signedthere will be free press women drivers civil rightsWhat are civil rightsI'll tell you later They're hilariousLook you alone can stop these terrible things from happeningYou are the last great dictatorAll of the others are - The Dictator 00:47
If this constitution is signedthere will be free press women...
From the mountaintops of North Korea to the jungles of Zimbabwelet every child laborer and sweatshop factory worker singOppressed at last Oppressed at lastThank Aladeen I am oppressed at last - The Dictator 00:16
From the mountaintops of North Korea to the jungles of...
If you're just joining us, we are at the Lancaster Hotel, where in about 20 minutes, General Aladeen will be signing the new Wadiyan constitution. - The Dictator 00:24
If you're just joining us, we are at the Lancaster...
Eddie Norton, next time, you pee on me. - The Dictator 00:37
Eddie Norton, next time, you pee on me.
Wait. That is how you intend to get me across to the Lancaster? Absolutely. - Where'd you get that? - The Dictator 00:16
Wait. That is how you intend to get me across to the...
Love it! - The Dictator 00:11
Love it!
I don't understand what has happened. - The Dictator 00:51
I don't understand what has happened.
You need to lose weight immediately! - The Dictator 00:32
You need to lose weight immediately!
Get out of here before Tamir kills you. - The Dictator 00:24
Get out of here before Tamir kills you.
This is an historic moment - The Dictator 00:14
This is an historic moment
What are you doing? - The Dictator 00:33
What are you doing?
Why are you guys so anti dictatorsImagine if America was a dictatorshipYou could let 1 of the people have all the nation's wealthYou could help your rich friendsget richer by cutting their taxesand bailing them out when they gamble and loseYou could - The Dictator 00:54
Why are you guys so anti dictatorsImagine if America was a...
Democracy has hairy armpits and could lose five pounds. - The Dictator 00:42
Democracy has hairy armpits and could lose five pounds.