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The First Temptation of Christ

Jesus, who's hitting the big 3-0, brings a surprise guest to meet the family.

Director

Rodrigo Van Der Put

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Explore 134 Clips

I'm afraid of failing,
of being misinterpreted. - The First Temptation of Christ

I'm afraid of failing, of being misinterpreted.

People are gullible.
They'll literally believe in anything. - The First Temptation of Christ

People are gullible. They'll literally believe in anyth...

I think this opportunity
won't come knocking again, man. - The First Temptation of Christ

I think this opportunity won't come knocking again, man...

Did you realize you'll be father and son
at the same time? - The First Temptation of Christ

Did you realize you'll be father and son at the same ti...

- That shit's dope, bro.
- Don't mind him. He's long gone. - The First Temptation of Christ

- That shit's dope, bro. - Don't mind him. He'...

I'll name this painting
"The Baptism of God's New Son." - The First Temptation of Christ

I'll name this painting "The Baptism of God's...

I told them you're wild.
You're a naughty Capricorn. - The First Temptation of Christ

I told them you're wild. You're a naughty Capricor...

The Three Wise Men helped me. - The First Temptation of Christ

The Three Wise Men helped me.

And you're absolutely right,
no one can choose your path. - The First Temptation of Christ

And you're absolutely right, no one can choose your pat...

Do the stand-up bit about me
telling Abraham to kill his son again. - The First Temptation of Christ

Do the stand-up bit about me telling Abraham to kill his son...

I'll do it! On my way here, - The First Temptation of Christ

I'll do it! On my way here,

He didn't write it.
You're stealing someone's joke! - The First Temptation of Christ

He didn't write it. You're stealing someone's...

- What's up?
- You're late. I'm God's son now. - The First Temptation of Christ

- What's up? - You're late. I'm God's so...

It was so easy to tempt you
back in the desert, Jesus. - The First Temptation of Christ

It was so easy to tempt you back in the desert, Jesus.

I can't believe you were someone else
this whole time. - The First Temptation of Christ

I can't believe you were someone else this whole time.

I thought it was real, - The First Temptation of Christ

I thought it was real,

Wow, I like this power! - The First Temptation of Christ

Wow, I like this power!

- They could act in Cinderella.
- My godfathers! - The First Temptation of Christ

- They could act in Cinderella. - My godfathers!

Nobody will be able to stop us. - The First Temptation of Christ

Nobody will be able to stop us.

It's no use trying.
I can do whatever I want with you. - The First Temptation of Christ

It's no use trying. I can do whatever I want with you.

Hand on your head, that's it! - The First Temptation of Christ

Hand on your head, that's it!

Can you twerk? Go all the way down. - The First Temptation of Christ

Can you twerk? Go all the way down.

That's right. On one leg now. - The First Temptation of Christ

That's right. On one leg now.

Run from the dragon! Where is it? - The First Temptation of Christ

Run from the dragon! Where is it?

Get up! Grab the diamond.
Go into the cave! - The First Temptation of Christ

Get up! Grab the diamond. Go into the cave!

Son, he is among us. - The First Temptation of Christ

Son, he is among us.

Orlando, you... you're right. - The First Temptation of Christ

Orlando, you... you're right.

I see him right there
with a broken hip. - The First Temptation of Christ

I see him right there with a broken hip.

But he is also inside each one of us, - The First Temptation of Christ

But he is also inside each one of us,

Forget it, he left.
He's a coward. - The First Temptation of Christ

Forget it, he left. He's a coward.

I'm feeling... He kno... - The First Temptation of Christ

I'm feeling... He kno...

I ate something that didn't agree with me. - The First Temptation of Christ

I ate something that didn't agree with me.

Is this jam? - The First Temptation of Christ

- You just said you understand.
- I do, but I haven't accepted it. - The First Temptation of Christ

- You just said you understand. - I do, but I haven't a...

I'm not sure I agree with your style. - The First Temptation of Christ

I'm not sure I agree with your style.

Holding Jonah inside a fucking whale
for a whole month. - The First Temptation of Christ

Holding Jonah inside a fucking whale for a whole month.

I'm into juggling, beads, - The First Temptation of Christ

I'm into juggling, beads,

So how about we try
a three-year internship? - The First Temptation of Christ

So how about we try a three-year internship?

If you don't want to do it
when you turn 33, - The First Temptation of Christ

If you don't want to do it when you turn 33,

If I change my mind three years from now, - The First Temptation of Christ

If I change my mind three years from now,

- They could be women.
- I know, - The First Temptation of Christ

- They could be women. - I know,

There's no need for that.
That's what I was talking about. - The First Temptation of Christ

There's no need for that. That's what I was talkin...

I just like a grand, dramatic exit,
with light effects and all. - The First Temptation of Christ

I just like a grand, dramatic exit, with light effects and a...

I was very immature - The First Temptation of Christ

I was very immature

The First Temptation of Christ poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Jesus, who's hitting the big 3-0, brings a surprise guest to meet the family.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Rodrigo Van Der Put

Writer: N/A

Production: N/A

Genre: short, comedy

Year: 2019

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 5.2

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 03 Dec 2019

Awards: N/A

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