How does one come by front row aisle seats for a first night at the Opera Toscana with one...

M. Gustave: How does one come by front row aisle seats for a first night at the Opera Toscana with one day's notice? How does one arrange a private viewing of the tapestry collection at the Royal Saxon Gallery? How does one secure a corner table at Chez Dominique on a Thursday? [to Ivan, on the telephone] M. Gustave: Ivan, darling, it's Gustave, hello!... Well, I was until about five minutes ago. We've taken it upon ourselves to clear out in a hurry, if you see what I mean... Well, through a sewer, as it happens... Exactly! Listen, Ivan, I'm sorry to cut you off, but we're in a bit of a bind. This is an official request. I'm formally calling on the special services of... [Title card: THE SOCIETY OF THE CROSSED KEYS]

for a first night at the Opera Toscana with one day's notice? How does one arrange a private viewing of the tapestry collection at the Royal Saxon Gallery? How does one secure a corner table at Chez Dominique on a Thursday? Ivan, darling, it's Gustave. Hello. Well, I was until about five minutes ago. We've taken it upon ourselves to clear out in a hurry if you see what I mean. Well, through a sewer, as it happens. Exactly. Listen, Ivan, I'm sorry to out you off, but we're in a bit of a bind. This is an official request. I'm formally calling upon the special services of... I'll call you back, Gustave. Right. Stand by. I beg your pardon. Do you prefer to walk? We're right here. It's very simple. Straight down the corniche, then left. Jojo, see the gentleman out. Get me Monsieur Georges at the Château Luxe, please. ♪ Happy birthday to you Take over. ♪ Happy birthday, dear... Hello, Ivan? Got it. Get me Monsieur Dino at the Palazzo Principessa, please. Higher, goddammit, higher! Take over. Monsieur Georges? - Higher. I see. Straightaway. Get me Monsieur Robin at L'Hôtel Côte du Cap, please. and two and three. M. Robin. There's a call from M. Dino for you. Take over. One, two, three. Yes, Dino. Yes, Dino. OK, Dino. Get me Monsieur Martin at the Ritz Imperial, please. Too much salt. Not enough pepper- Take over.