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I bet you never had a wank that wasn't focus-grouped
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The Hippopotamus

I bet you never had a wankthat wasn't focus-grouped, you sexually craven provincial nerd

I bet you never had a wank
that wasn't focus-grouped, you sexually craven provincial nerd

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.003
I bet you never had a wank that wasn't focus-grouped,
00:00:04.333 --> 00:00:08.543
you sexually craven provincial nerd.
Duration
10 seconds
Views
55
Timestamp in Movie
00:06:12
Uploaded
Oct 30, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
The Electric Shadow Company

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Movie Summary

Disgraced poet Ted Wallace is summoned to his friend's country manor to investigate a series of unexplained miracles.
Why don't you take your freckled ass on a sabbatical - The Hippopotamus 00:10
Why don't you take your freckled ass on a sabbatical
You may have been the great hope for British poetry - The Hippopotamus 00:07
You may have been the great hope for British poetry
When... when did you last do anything at all? - The Hippopotamus 00:05
When... when did you last do anything at all?
I have about as much need of you - The Hippopotamus 00:07
I have about as much need of you
'No use denying the fact we all feel undervalued. - The Hippopotamus 00:07
'No use denying the fact we all feel undervalued.
'To be told officially that we are off the case - The Hippopotamus 00:11
'To be told officially that we are off the case
'Paradoxically, this increases our self-esteem - The Hippopotamus 00:15
'Paradoxically, this increases our self-esteem
'Finding myself at leisure, - The Hippopotamus 00:12
'Finding myself at leisure,
'It was unlikely a poem would come - The Hippopotamus 00:08
'It was unlikely a poem would come
'S0, I listed, as is my custom, - The Hippopotamus 00:09
'S0, I listed, as is my custom,
'The rare words annoy the punter, - The Hippopotamus 00:08
'The rare words annoy the punter,
'A painter has oils, acrylics and pastels. - The Hippopotamus 00:06
'A painter has oils, acrylics and pastels.
'A musician has entire machines - The Hippopotamus 00:08
'A musician has entire machines
You may not remember me. - The Hippopotamus 00:05
You may not remember me.
Jane Swann. One of the Berkshire Swanns? - The Hippopotamus 00:06
Jane Swann. One of the Berkshire Swanns?
Cast your mind back to a small font, a baby and a rising poet. - The Hippopotamus 00:08
Cast your mind back to a small font, a baby and a rising poe...
Where the last of the semi-famous get assholed. - The Hippopotamus 00:05
Where the last of the semi-famous get assholed.
Sooth. You see before you a recently fired man. - The Hippopotamus 00:05
Sooth. You see before you a recently fired man.
'Jane's home lived up to my ripest expectations. - The Hippopotamus 00:06
'Jane's home lived up to my ripest expectations.
'As degrading a cocktail of over-priced cliches - The Hippopotamus 00:07
'As degrading a cocktail of over-priced cliches