OK, so the answer is nothing. Look, what you have to do, and quickly, is think about what...

[Mahumd notices someone leave his real father's room, unaware that it is a Rabbi] Mahmud Nasir:
Dad? [Tries to hug him] Rabbi:
Ugh! I don't think so. Firstly, you appear to be Muslim. Mahmud Nasir:
Yes, I'm sorry. Rabbi:
And secondly, I'm perhaps five years younger than you. Mahmud Nasir:
Yes, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Is Izzy Shimshillewitz in there? Rabbi:
Yes. Mahmud Nasir:
Can I go in, please? Rabbi:
Uh, I'm afraid not. Mahmud Nasir:
No, you don't understand. I'm his son, I think. Rabbi:
Do you have some sort of syndrome? Mahmud Nasir:
No, no, my real parents were Jews. I was adopted. I've just found out my birth name is Shimshillewitz. Rabbi:
Really? And you're definitely Isaac's son, are you? Mahmud Nasir:
Yes, yes... well, I must be. Rabbi:
Look, I'm sorry, but as Mr. Shimshillewitz is Rabbi, I have to think of his welfare first. He's a very sick man, now. Mahmud Nasir:
Then you have to let me in. Rabbi:
Look at you! A Muslim son? He's an observant Jew. It'd kill him stone dead. Mahmud Nasir:
What must I do? Rabbi:
What do you know about Jews? Mahmud Nasir:
They've got big noses? They like money... oh, they do. Uh, sportsmen? Rabbi:
OK, so the answer is nothing. Look, what you have to do, and quickly, is think about what it means to be a Jew, OK? And then we'll think about letting you in. Oh, and by the way, when you thought I was your Dad, sort of a shrivelled old man... was it because of the hairless thing? Because that is genetic. OK? [Mahmud nods]