So, uh, Jews? Yeah. Tell me about them. Where shall we start? I know, let's start with me...
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Mahmud Nasir: So, uh, Jews?
Lenny Goldberg: Yeah.
Mahmud Nasir: Tell me about them.
Lenny Goldberg: [laughing] Okay. Uh, let's see: Where shall we start? I know, let's start with me - the archetype. The American Jew. As American as knish and Seinfeld and slavish support for Israel. You know, like my fellow countrymen, I didn't think there were any other Jews in the whole fuckin' world, especially not Britain. Britain, land of hope and pork. A Jew in Britain...
[laughing]
Lenny Goldberg: That's just weird. That's like an American driving a Hackney carriage.
[With accent]
Lenny Goldberg: "What a Yank with the knowledge? What's the bloody world coming too?" But no. In London alone, you've got your Hampstead liberal intellectual Jew; you've got your Pitter secular accountant Jew; you've got your Hamden Orthodox lawyer Jew; and scum of kosher scum, your Essex Jews, of which my ex-wife, who by the way, in case you were wondering, is why I came to this fucking country in the first place and why I know so much about its Jews.
Mahmud Nasir: Knish?
Lenny Goldberg: A doughy, kosher deep-fried dumpling. Oh, and then you've got your Israeli Jews: you know, Jews without angst, without guilt, so really not Jews at all. And then you've got your Jews for Jesus: What the fuck is that all about?
Lenny Goldberg: Yeah.
Mahmud Nasir: Tell me about them.
Lenny Goldberg: [laughing] Okay. Uh, let's see: Where shall we start? I know, let's start with me - the archetype. The American Jew. As American as knish and Seinfeld and slavish support for Israel. You know, like my fellow countrymen, I didn't think there were any other Jews in the whole fuckin' world, especially not Britain. Britain, land of hope and pork. A Jew in Britain...
[laughing]
Lenny Goldberg: That's just weird. That's like an American driving a Hackney carriage.
[With accent]
Lenny Goldberg: "What a Yank with the knowledge? What's the bloody world coming too?" But no. In London alone, you've got your Hampstead liberal intellectual Jew; you've got your Pitter secular accountant Jew; you've got your Hamden Orthodox lawyer Jew; and scum of kosher scum, your Essex Jews, of which my ex-wife, who by the way, in case you were wondering, is why I came to this fucking country in the first place and why I know so much about its Jews.
Mahmud Nasir: Knish?
Lenny Goldberg: A doughy, kosher deep-fried dumpling. Oh, and then you've got your Israeli Jews: you know, Jews without angst, without guilt, so really not Jews at all. And then you've got your Jews for Jesus: What the fuck is that all about?
Full Transcript
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Mm So uh Jews
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Yeah
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Tell me about them
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okay
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Uh well let's see Where shall we start
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I know
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Let's start with me the archetype the american jew
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As american as knish and seinfeld
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And slavish support for israel
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You know like my fellow countrymen
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I didn't think there were any other jews
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In the whole fucking world especially not britain
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Britain land of hope and pork
00:00:39.727 --> 00:00:42.425
A jew in britain I mean that's just weird
00:00:42.414 --> 00:00:45.048
That's like an american driving a hackney carriage
00:00:45.455 --> 00:00:47.621
or a yank with the knowledge
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What's the bloody world coming to
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but no
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In london alone you've got
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Your hampstead liberal intellectual jew
00:00:55.473 --> 00:00:58.139
You've got your peter secular accountant jew
00:00:58.999 --> 00:01:00.797
You've got your hendon orthodox lawyer jew
00:01:00.787 --> 00:01:04.718
And scum of kosher scum your essex jews
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Of which heritage my recently ex wife
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Who by the way in case you were wondering is the reason
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Why I came to this fucking country in the first place
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And why I know so much about its Jews
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Knish
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A doughy kosher deep fried dumpling
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And then you've got your israeli jews
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You know jews without angst without guilt
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Who really are not jews at all
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and then of course your jews for jesus
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What in the fuck is that all about
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Hello
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Yeah yeah adam
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No no no I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna pick
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Wh wh what Why
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Oh christ why
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Adam you you you know what
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Fuck off you little shit
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Right Well I I guess I've got to get
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That was my my useless flaky son
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Supposed to go to a bar mitzvah with him on Saturday
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Now now I got nobody to go with
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It's just I hate going to those things alone you know
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All those jews jewing it up in public you know
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What you You
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Movie Summary
An identity crisis comedy centred on Mahmud Nasir, successful business owner, and salt of the earth East End Muslim who discovers that he's adopted - and Jewish.
