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"The Jerk" quotes

The Jerk poster
After discovering he's not really black like the rest of his family, likable dimwit Navin Johnson runs off on a hilarious misadventure in this comedy classic that takes him from rags to riches and back to rags again. The slaphappy jerk strikes it rich, but life in the fast lane isn't all it's cracked up to be and, in the end, all that really matters to Johnson is his true love.

Director: Carl Reiner
Writer: Steve Martin (screenplay), Carl Gottlieb (screenplay), Michael Elias (screenplay), Steve Martin (story), Carl Gottlieb (story)
Production: Universal Pictures
Genre: comedy
Year: 1979
MetaScore: 61/100
ImdbRating: 7.2
BoxOffice: N/A
Released: 14 Dec 1979
Awards: 1 nomination.
First they didn't have the bamboo umbrellas for the wine - The Jerk 00:08 First they didn't have the bamboo umbrellas for the... I'll guess your weight your height or your sex - The Jerk 00:09 I'll guess your weight your height or your sex What a great place - The Jerk 00:10 What a great place There are charity people here to see you - The Jerk 00:18 There are charity people here to see you I was so glad to be going home - The Jerk 00:26 I was so glad to be going home I can fix those shocks - The Jerk 01:14 I can fix those shocks Guess  your  weight - The Jerk 00:25 Guess your weight If I had yelled  cut  on time - The Jerk 00:29 If I had yelled cut on time You belong to me - The Jerk 00:40 You belong to me Give me a bite of that corn dog - The Jerk 00:08 Give me a bite of that corn dog Marie is a type a person that if you gotta - The Jerk 00:16 Marie is a type a person that if you gotta Guess your weight - The Jerk 01:01 Guess your weight Is grandma still farting - The Jerk 00:04 Is grandma still farting This guy is unbelievable - The Jerk 00:33 This guy is unbelievable I don't wanna puke - The Jerk 00:19 I don't wanna puke I've already given away eight pencils - The Jerk 00:48 I've already given away eight pencils You random son of a bitch - The Jerk 00:05 You random son of a bitch Don't call that dog  lifesaver - The Jerk 00:08 Don't call that dog lifesaver Lord loves a workin' man - The Jerk 00:07 Lord loves a workin' man These hoodlums are dangerous - The Jerk 00:26 These hoodlums are dangerous The most exciting game on the midway - The Jerk 00:50 The most exciting game on the midway I've heard of him - The Jerk 00:50 I've heard of him Could there be a God that would let this happen - The Jerk 00:41 Could there be a God that would let this happen The new phone book's here - The Jerk 00:49 The new phone book's here I'm hitchhiking - The Jerk 00:33 I'm hitchhiking I don't care about losing all the money - The Jerk 00:08 I don't care about losing all the money That's unbelievable - The Jerk 00:21 That's unbelievable I will need two pieces of identification - The Jerk 00:23 I will need two pieces of identification I'm picking out a Thermos for you - The Jerk 00:20 I'm picking out a Thermos for you Can I ask you a personal question - The Jerk 00:53 Can I ask you a personal question I'll guess your weight your height or your sex - The Jerk 00:09 I'll guess your weight your height or your sex Damn these glasses son - The Jerk 00:13 Damn these glasses son First I get my name in the phone book - The Jerk 00:18 First I get my name in the phone book You look so beautiful and peaceful - The Jerk 00:36 You look so beautiful and peaceful Man St Louis - The Jerk 00:08 Man St Louis Why are you crying - The Jerk 00:15 Why are you crying My dear family - The Jerk 00:48 My dear family It's your birthday - The Jerk 00:08 It's your birthday But to me it seems like nine weeks and five days - The Jerk 01:16 But to me it seems like nine weeks and five days Well I'd like to think you were available - The Jerk 00:20 Well I'd like to think you were available He hates these cans - The Jerk 00:08 He hates these cans And I don't need any of this - The Jerk 01:14 And I don't need any of this Iron Balls McGinty - The Jerk 00:19 Iron Balls McGinty I'll guess your weight - The Jerk 03:10 I'll guess your weight I once had wealth - The Jerk 00:56 I once had wealth HE'S NOT CARNIVAL PERSONNEL - The Jerk 00:13 HE'S NOT CARNIVAL PERSONNEL Lord loves a working man - The Jerk 01:28 Lord loves a working man

Cast

Navin - Steve Martin
Patty Bernstein - Catlin Adams
Mother - Mabel King
Father - Richard Ward