Marva Munson: Now I want to know what's goin' on. Professor G.H. Dorr: Oh, indeed, indeed. The thirst for knowledge is a very commendable thing. Though I do believe that when you hear the explanation
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Now I want to know what's goin' on. Oh, indeed, indeed. The...

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Marva Munson:
Now I want to know what's goin' on.
Professor G.H. Dorr:
Oh, indeed, indeed. The thirst for knowledge is a very commendable thing. Though I do believe that when you hear the explanation you shall laugh riotously, slappin' your knee and perhaps even wipin' away a giddy tear, relieved of your former concern. Lump here is an avid collector of Indian arrowheads, and having found one simply lying on your cellar floor - a particularly rare artifact of the Natchez tribe?
Lump Hudson:
Nats... what?
Professor G.H. Dorr:
He enlisted the entire ensemble in an all-out effort to sift through the subsoil in search of others. And apparently, in doing so, we hit a mother lode of natural gas. I myself became acutely aware of the smell of "rotten eggs." And it was just at this inopportune moment that the General here violated the cardinal rule of this house and lit himself a cigarette.
The General:
So sorry.
Marva Munson:
Well, what about all that money?
Professor G.H. Dorr:
Ah. The money. Well, the money is Mr. Pancake's.
Garth Pancake:
That's right.
Professor G.H. Dorr:
Who only just remortgaged his home in order to raise the money for a surgical procedure that will correct the wandering eye of his common-law wife, Mountain Water, who suffers from astigmia, strabismus and a general curdling of the vitreous jelly. Mr. Pancake is an ardent foe of the Federal Reserve, and is, in fact, one of those eccentrics one often reads about hoardin' his entire life savings, in Mr. Pancake's case, in a Hefty bag that is his constant companion. The Steel Sak.
Garth Pancake:
Don't trust the banks. Never have.

Transcript:
Now I want to know what's goin' on.
Indeed, indeed.
The thirst for knowledge
is a very commendable thing.
Though I do believe that when you hear the
explanation you shall laugh riotously,
slappin' your knee and perhaps
even wipin' away a giddy tear,
relieved of your former concern.
Lump here, is an avid collector
of Indian arrowheads,
and having found one simply
lying on your cellar floor…
A particularly rare artifact
of the Natchez tribe?
What?
He enlisted the entire
ensemble in an all-out effort
to sift through the subsoil
in search of others.
And apparently, in doing so,
we hit a mother lode
of natural gas.
I myself became acutely aware
of the smell of "rotten eggs."
And it was just at this
inopportune moment
that the General here violated
the cardinal rule of this house
and lit himself a cigarette.
So sorry.
Well, what about all that money?
The money.
Well, the money
is Mr. Pancake's.
That's right. Who only
just remortgaged his home
in order to raise the money
for a surgical procedure
that will correct
the wandering eye
of his common-law wife,
Mountain Water,
who suffers from
astigma, strabismus
and a general curdling
of the vitreous jelly.
Mr. Pancake, is an
ardent foe of the Federal Reserve,
and is, in fact, one of those
eccentrics one often reads about
hoardin' his entire
life savings,
in Mr. Pancake's case, in a Hefty
bag that is his constant companion.
The Steel Sak.
Don't trust the banks.
Never have.
Mmm-mm. It don't smell
right to me.
I'm callin' Sheriff Wyner.
No. Madam.
Please, please.
Madam.
No, no, I beg of…
Yes. Yes.
It is a lie.
It is a fantastic tale.
You have us dead to rights,
but, madam, please,
please, please,
allow me to tell you
the truth in private.
Madam…
Madam, we are not musicians
of the late Renaissance.
Nor of the early, nor mid period.
Mmm-hmm.
We are, in fact,
criminals.
Desperate men,
Mrs. Munson.
We have
tunneled into the nearby offices of
the Bandit Queen gambling emporium
and relieved it of its treasure.
Lord have mercy.
It is true.
The Bandit Queen
is a den of iniquity.
A painted harlot
luring people into sin
by exciting the vice of greed
with her promise of
easy winnings. Oh, yes.
Her gains are ill-gotten.
But I offer no excuses.
Save one.
We men have each pledged
one half of our share
of the booty
to a charitable institution.
In compensation for
the use of your home,
we had planned to
donate a full share
to Bob Jones University.
Without burdening you with guilty
knowledge by informing you of same.
But now you have wrested
the information from me.
There you have it.
It is on your table,
Mrs. Munson.
"The awful truth."
Stolen money.
But find the victim,
Mrs. Munson.
I challenge you.
Even the casino itself,
that riparian Gomorrah,
shall suffer no harm.
It has an insurance company.
A financial behemoth that will cheerfully
replenish its depleted vaults.

Clip duration: 251 seconds
Views: 47
Uploaded: 12 December, 2020
Genres: comedy, crime, thriller
Summary: An eccentric, if not charming Southern professor and his crew pose as a classical ensemble in order to rob a casino, all under the nose of his unsuspecting but sharp old landlady.


Actors

Marva Munson - Irma P. Hall
Professor G.H. Dorr - Tom Hanks
Lump Hudson - Ryan Hurst
The General - Tzi Ma
Garth Pancake - J.K. Simmons