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"The Last Boy Scout" quotes

The Last Boy Scout poster
A private detective's protected female witness is murdered, prompting him and the victim's boyfriend to investigate the crime that leads to a corrupt politician and a crooked football team owner.

Director: Tony Scott
Writer: Shane Black, Greg Hicks
Production: N/A
Genre: action, comedy, crime
Year: 1991
MetaScore: 52/100
ImdbRating: 7.0
BoxOffice: $59,509,925
Released: 13 Dec 1991
Awards: 2 nominations

192 video clips

Jimmy DixJoe HallenbeckMike MathewsAlley ThugMiloMike MatthewsScrabble ManJakeBill MedleySarah HallenbeckChetCoryDarian HallenbeckMccoskeyPool OwnerHarpLocker Room KidHead CoachBilly Cole
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You don't believe in love - The Last Boy Scout 00:36 You don't believe in love It just happened Joe It Sure sure I know - The Last Boy Scout 00:23 It just happened Joe It Sure sure I know Wrong place wrong time Nothing personal - The Last Boy Scout 00:21 Wrong place wrong time Nothing personal Nobody likes you - The Last Boy Scout 00:14 Nobody likes you You think you're so fucking cool don't you - The Last Boy Scout 00:19 You think you're so fucking cool don't you So now where you want it In the chest or in the head - The Last Boy Scout 00:30 So now where you want it In the chest or in the head I can't figure which of you looks the most like my dick - The Last Boy Scout 00:09 I can't figure which of you looks the most like my dick MIKE You sound terrific What'd you do last night - The Last Boy Scout 00:07 MIKE You sound terrific What'd you do last night Water's wet the sky is blue women have secrets - The Last Boy Scout 00:06 Water's wet the sky is blue women have secrets A bit late for a stroll you think You girls ought to get home - The Last Boy Scout 00:35 A bit late for a stroll you think You girls ought to get... I told you - The Last Boy Scout 00:06 I told you You don't like women much do you Joe - The Last Boy Scout 00:34 You don't like women much do you Joe Where you going To the bathroom - The Last Boy Scout 00:09 Where you going To the bathroom You know what Fuck you Joe You were never around I was lonely - The Last Boy Scout 00:08 You know what Fuck you Joe You were never around I was... Can we do a formal introduction Who gives a fuck - The Last Boy Scout 00:12 Can we do a formal introduction Who gives a fuck I feel like I've been rode hard and put away wet - The Last Boy Scout 00:26 I feel like I've been rode hard and put away wet JOE IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE Why did Mr Milo cross the road - The Last Boy Scout 00:12 JOE IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE Why did Mr Milo cross the road I seem to have dropped my cigarette - The Last Boy Scout 00:29 I seem to have dropped my cigarette Leather pants - The Last Boy Scout 00:31 Leather pants Head or gut Mike - The Last Boy Scout 00:35 Head or gut Mike Painkillers Using Demerol because your fucking knees are shot - The Last Boy Scout 00:35 Painkillers Using Demerol because your fucking knees are... He'd shoot everybody and smoke some cigarettes I don't have a gun I can't do that - The Last Boy Scout 00:06 He'd shoot everybody and smoke some cigarettes I... This the only kind of music they play in this joint - The Last Boy Scout 00:31 This the only kind of music they play in this joint That damn thing's gonna be mailed to the cops isn't it - The Last Boy Scout 00:20 That damn thing's gonna be mailed to the cops... You know for a dancer he's one hell of a detective - The Last Boy Scout 00:05 You know for a dancer he's one hell of a detective My name is Jimmy That number on the back of your head - The Last Boy Scout 00:24 My name is Jimmy That number on the back of your head Here Happy birthday Buy yourself a new pair of pants - The Last Boy Scout 00:05 Here Happy birthday Buy yourself a new pair of pants There's a new invention It's called a razor - The Last Boy Scout 00:09 There's a new invention It's called a razor Hey ugly - The Last Boy Scout 00:16 Hey ugly Say man you ever played ball You got a good build - The Last Boy Scout 00:14 Say man you ever played ball You got a good build Good morning Is there a problem - The Last Boy Scout 00:09 Good morning Is there a problem Yeah yeah Eat me So listen I'm booked You got plans - The Last Boy Scout 00:14 Yeah yeah Eat me So listen I'm booked You got plans I got bad news and bad news Give me the bad news first - The Last Boy Scout 00:05 I got bad news and bad news Give me the bad news first There's me - The Last Boy Scout 00:36 There's me Hey Flash Rescue attempt - The Last Boy Scout 00:19 Hey Flash Rescue attempt So you don't think the cops can help you - The Last Boy Scout 00:07 So you don't think the cops can help you It ain't right - The Last Boy Scout 00:36 It ain't right To get evidence against them right That's right - The Last Boy Scout 00:13 To get evidence against them right That's right Yeah Hey motherfucker - The Last Boy Scout 00:07 Yeah Hey motherfucker Hey that's Marcone's car - The Last Boy Scout 00:09 Hey that's Marcone's car Well Joe have you ever heard of the Senate's Commission - The Last Boy Scout 00:34 Well Joe have you ever heard of the Senate's Commission Football is a dying beast Joe - The Last Boy Scout 00:37 Football is a dying beast Joe Well if it isn't Shelly Marcone himself - The Last Boy Scout 00:12 Well if it isn't Shelly Marcone himself Yeah you're a real bastard you know that Joe - The Last Boy Scout 00:08 Yeah you're a real bastard you know that Joe Hey You got a car Yeah - The Last Boy Scout 00:09 Hey You got a car Yeah It's okay It's okay - The Last Boy Scout 00:15 It's okay It's okay That door stays shut - The Last Boy Scout 00:24 That door stays shut Are you all right Let's go Come on - The Last Boy Scout 00:22 Are you all right Let's go Come on PLAYER There he is That's Jimmy Dix - The Last Boy Scout 00:04 PLAYER There he is That's Jimmy Dix Push this vile fuck off the road man - The Last Boy Scout 00:05 Push this vile fuck off the road man Did any of you stupid shits bother to frisk this fuck - The Last Boy Scout 00:10 Did any of you stupid shits bother to frisk this fuck Give him the key or I'll have you kneecapped - The Last Boy Scout 00:16 Give him the key or I'll have you kneecapped If I were a cat I'd purr - The Last Boy Scout 00:06 If I were a cat I'd purr I swear to Christ if I survive this fucking case I'm gonna dance a jig - The Last Boy Scout 00:10 I swear to Christ if I survive this fucking case I'm... Hi You're nobody - The Last Boy Scout 00:09 Hi You're nobody That briefcase was loaded with explosives wasn't it - The Last Boy Scout 00:35 That briefcase was loaded with explosives wasn't it Circumvent It's called a vocabulary You read much - The Last Boy Scout 00:08 Circumvent It's called a vocabulary You read much Hey last time I saw you drink straight vodka was because you just cheated on Cory - The Last Boy Scout 00:27 Hey last time I saw you drink straight vodka was because you... MAN 1 Billy Cole - The Last Boy Scout 00:19 MAN 1 Billy Cole I got bad news and bad news Give me the bad news first - The Last Boy Scout 00:20 I got bad news and bad news Give me the bad news first Ain't life a bitch - The Last Boy Scout 00:03 Ain't life a bitch She's hot Joe She rates a three on my finger scale - The Last Boy Scout 00:10 She's hot Joe She rates a three on my finger scale You don't believe in love Yeah I believe in love I believe in cancer - The Last Boy Scout 00:13 You don't believe in love Yeah I believe in love I... You must be the dumbest guy in the world Why's that - The Last Boy Scout 00:10 You must be the dumbest guy in the world Why's that Man you couldn't protect a cup of warm piss - The Last Boy Scout 01:03 Man you couldn't protect a cup of warm piss Joe if we go any faster we're gonna travel back in time - The Last Boy Scout 00:05 Joe if we go any faster we're gonna travel back in time An actual house - The Last Boy Scout 00:09 An actual house This being the '90s you can't just walk up to a guy and smack him in the face - The Last Boy Scout 00:17 This being the '90s you can't just walk up to a... What are you doing Drawing them a picture - The Last Boy Scout 00:46 What are you doing Drawing them a picture Water's wet the sky is blue women have secrets - The Last Boy Scout 00:05 Water's wet the sky is blue women have secrets Eat shit you fucking redneck - The Last Boy Scout 00:04 Eat shit you fucking redneck You don't believe in love Yeah I believe in love I believe in cancer - The Last Boy Scout 00:13 You don't believe in love Yeah I believe in love I... How'd you like to get kicked off the fucking planet - The Last Boy Scout 00:05 How'd you like to get kicked off the fucking planet JIMMY Wow An actual house - The Last Boy Scout 00:09 JIMMY Wow An actual house Fast forward eats the tape - The Last Boy Scout 00:04 Fast forward eats the tape If you touch me again I'll kill you - The Last Boy Scout If you touch me again I'll kill you Alex was my son - The Last Boy Scout Alex was my son All right, all right. Let's bring out a woman who's always in the mood. - The Last Boy Scout All right, all right. Let's bring out a woman who'... Are you all right? Let's go. Come on. - The Last Boy Scout Are you all right? Let's go. Come on. Bingo. - The Last Boy Scout Bingo. Boom-ba! Baby! - The Last Boy Scout Boom-ba! Baby! BOY 2: Do it. - The Last Boy Scout BOY 2: Do it. But Alex lived for 17 minutes in an incubator. - The Last Boy Scout But Alex lived for 17 minutes in an incubator. [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] - The Last Boy Scout [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] Can we do a formal introduction Who gives a fuck - The Last Boy Scout Can we do a formal introduction Who gives a fuck Cory, don't get out of your car. - The Last Boy Scout Cory, don't get out of your car. [CROWD CHEERING] - The Last Boy Scout [CROWD CHEERING] [CROWD SHOUTING] - The Last Boy Scout [CROWD SHOUTING] Damn, now where are they going? - The Last Boy Scout Damn, now where are they going?
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Cast

Joe Hallenbeck - Bruce Willis
Jimmy Dix - Damon Wayans
Sarah Hallenbeck - Chelsea Field
Sheldon Marcone - Noble Willingham
Milo - Taylor Negron
All Cast