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Will you teach me to footballSure we'll teach you to football Won't we CaretakerHey I'll teach you anything Just don't eat me
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The Longest Yard

I'll teach you anything. Just don't eat me

Switowski:
Will you teach me to football?Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe:Sure, I'll teach you to football.Caretaker:I'll teach you anything. Just don't eat me

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.752
Will you teach me to football
00:00:02.096 --> 00:00:05.171
Sure we'll teach you to football Won't we Caretaker
00:00:05.379 --> 00:00:07.059
Hey I'll teach you anything Just don't eat me
Available in 4 languages
Duration
9 seconds
Views
3,080
Timestamp in Movie
00:23:37
Uploaded
Mar 09, 2026
Genres
comedy, crime, sport
Production
Callahan Filmworks,Paramount Pictures,MTV Films,Columbia Pictures,Happy Madison Productions

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Movie Summary

Prison inmates form a football team to challenge the prison guards.

Actors

Bob Sapp
Switowski
Bob Sapp
Chris Rock
Caretaker
Chris Rock
Adam Sandler
Paul Crewe
Adam Sandler
Down Shrek Down - The Longest Yard 00:04
Down Shrek Down
I'm gonna be your coach your captain your quarterbackYou haven't played in years Why can't I be quarterbackYou're right Let's see what you got All rightHit me I'm open Hike hike HikeThat's why Now sit down and shut up - The Longest Yard 00:15
I'm gonna be your coach your captain your...
I'm sorry I brokeded your toyNo that's a good thing You should have a victory hug with Caretaker - The Longest Yard 00:09
I'm sorry I brokeded your toyNo that's a good...
We'll work on that. - The Longest Yard 00:11
We'll work on that.
Stop the violence! - The Longest Yard 00:10
Stop the violence!
- Hey, Paul. - The Longest Yard 00:27
- Hey, Paul.
The blood of the guards is gonna flow like the rivers of ancient BabylonThat's good news Unger you're the man - The Longest Yard 00:10
The blood of the guards is gonna flow like the rivers of...
You look like you could use a little help. - The Longest Yard 00:57
You look like you could use a little help.
HAZEN: Well, now, Lindsay, this isn't about credit or congratulations. - The Longest Yard 00:18
HAZEN: Well, now, Lindsay, this isn't about credit or...
Yeah. Nice boot, skin man. Hey, why does he get to be the kicker? I was All-State, man. Let's see wh - The Longest Yard 00:50
Yeah. Nice boot, skin man. Hey, why does he get to be the...
Hey why does he get to be the kicker I was All State manLet's see what you gotThat's why you dumb ass - The Longest Yard 00:08
Hey why does he get to be the kicker I was All State...
Ain't you guys glad you got a black man for a friend? - The Longest Yard 00:07
Ain't you guys glad you got a black man for a friend?
NATE: Hazen has a rating system for every con. - The Longest Yard 00:17
NATE: Hazen has a rating system for every con.
What? Half a star? That's gotta be a mistake. Check it again. Check it again. You're about as maniac - The Longest Yard 00:40
What? Half a star? That's gotta be a mistake. Check it...
Why don't we have a maniacal pillow fight tonightThat could get it up someYeah We can sell it to pay per viewSuperstar Versus Half a Star - The Longest Yard 00:11
Why don't we have a maniacal pillow fight tonightThat...
- What's he doing that for? - The Longest Yard 00:11
- What's he doing that for?
People have told me that you and I look a lot alikeso I wanted to see for myselfBELLOWSI'm gonna take a piss - The Longest Yard 00:11
People have told me that you and I look a lot alikeso I...
Damn! Brucie. Brucie. You all right? You breathing? I got a bird. His name is Ronnie. Well, tell Ron - The Longest Yard 00:14
Damn! Brucie. Brucie. You all right? You breathing? I got a...
I got a bird His name is RonnieWell tell Ronnie you got knocked the fuck out - The Longest Yard 00:08
I got a bird His name is RonnieWell tell Ronnie you got...
Wow, no bullshit. - The Longest Yard 00:30
Wow, no bullshit.