Look at them, bloody Catholics, filling the bloody world up with bloody people they can't...
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Harry Blackitt:
Look at them, bloody Catholics, filling the bloody world up with bloody people they can't afford to bloody feed.
Mrs. Blackitt:
What are we dear?
Harry Blackitt:
Protestant, and fiercely proud of it.
Mrs. Blackitt:
Hmm. Well, why do they have so many children?
Harry Blackitt:
Because... every time they have sexual intercourse, they have to have a baby.
Mrs. Blackitt:
But it's the same with us, Harry.
Harry Blackitt:
What do you mean?
Mrs. Blackitt:
Well, I mean, we've got two children, and we've had sexual intercourse twice.
Harry Blackitt:
That's not the point. We could have it any time we wanted.
Mrs. Blackitt:
Really?
Harry Blackitt:
Oh, yes, and, what's more, because we don't believe in all that Papist claptrap, we can take precautions.
Mrs. Blackitt:
What, you mean... lock the door?
Harry Blackitt:
No, no. I mean, because we are members of the Protestant Reformed Church, which successfully challenged the autocratic power of the Papacy in the mid-sixteenth century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent issue.
Mrs. Blackitt:
What d'you mean?
Harry Blackitt:
I could, if I wanted, have sexual intercourse with you...
Mrs. Blackitt:
Oh, yes, Harry.
Harry Blackitt:
...and, by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller, I could insure... that, when I came off, you would not be impregnated.
Mrs. Blackitt:
Ooh.
Harry Blackitt:
That's what being a Protestant's all about. That's why it's the church for me. That's why it's the church for anyone who respects the individual and the individual's right to decide for him or herself. When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in fifteen-seventeen, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas...
[sniff]
Harry Blackitt:
... and, Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom. Oh, no. I can wear French Ticklers if I want.
Mrs. Blackitt:
You what?
Harry Blackitt:
French Ticklers. Black Mambos. Crocodile Ribs. Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress.
Mrs. Blackitt:
Have you got one?
Harry Blackitt:
Have I got one? Uh, well, no, but I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high and say in a loud, steady voice, 'Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today, I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.'
Mrs. Blackitt:
Well, why don't you?
Harry Blackitt:
But they - Well, they cannot, 'cause their church never made the great leap out of the Middle Ages and the domination of alien Episcopal supremacy.
Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.034
Okay Thank you
00:00:02.134 --> 00:00:03.134
Legs up
00:00:03.669 --> 00:00:07.002
Oh come in Come on in all of you That's it Jolly good
00:00:07.106 --> 00:00:09.675
Come on Come along Spread round there
00:00:09.775 --> 00:00:11.676
Who are you I'm the husband
00:00:11.776 --> 00:00:15.953
I'm sorry Only people involved are allowed in here
00:00:16.415 --> 00:00:18.783
What do I do Yes
00:00:18.883 --> 00:00:22.955
What do I do Nothing dear You're not qualified
00:00:23.055 --> 00:00:25.559
Leave it to us What's that for
00:00:25.659 --> 00:00:28.161
That's the machine that goes 'ping '
00:00:29.429 --> 00:00:33.298
You see That means your baby is still alive
Clip duration: 34 seconds
Views: 137
Timestamp in movie: 00h 22m 19s
Uploaded: 05 April, 2022
Genres: comedy, musical
Summary: The comedy team takes a look at life in all of its stages in their own uniquely silly way.
Comments
Actors
00:20 Be quiet Englishmen You're all so fucking pompous
00:14 That went wherever I did go
00:57 I just can't go on I'm no good anymore
00:25 Take you away
00:05 Hey I didn't even eat the mousse
00:27 Anyone got anything they'd rather be doing
01:11 You see that
00:07 What do I do Nothing dear You're not qualified
00:14 Good afternoon sir and how are we today
00:14 I see you have the machine that goes 'ping ' This...
00:56 O Lord please don't burn us
00:43 And spotteth twice they the camels before the third hour
00:43 The mill's closed There's no more work
00:43 Yes During the night old Perkins got his leg bitten sort of...
01:08 Do all philosophers have an 'S' in them
00:46 But of course warfare isn't all fun Right Stop that
00:36 Et maintenant would monsieur care for an aperitif
00:16 I'm so sorry
00:21 Yes well the thing is Sergeant I've got a bit of a...
01:19 I used to work in the Academie Fran aise