Okay Mrs. X, now it's time for a few simple childcare rules. Oh, alright, the teddy bear...

Annie Braddock: Okay Mrs. X, now it's time for a few simple childcare rules. Human Resources Director: Oh, alright, the teddy bear has been compromised. Annie Braddock: Slamming the door in your kid's face is *not* okay. Spending more time on a benefit for kids that you've never met than you do with your own blood is *not* okay. Going to a SPA when your son has a fever of a hundred and four and not answering emergency calls, that officially makes you an unfit mother. Mrs. X: This is outrageous. Stop the tape. Human Resources Director: Uh, no. This is clearly a disgruntled nanny. W-we might have something to learn here. Annie Braddock: Now I know that you're all pretty busy with your hair appointments, and your watsu massages and your attempts to stay young so your husbands won't leave you. But here's an idea! Why don't you try eating dinner with your child every once in a blue moon. And heads up here, lady, try smiling once in a while. People hate you.

Big problem. Okay, Mrs. X, now it's time for a few simple child-care rules. Oh, all right. The teddy bear has been compromised. Slamming the door in your kid's face is not okay. Spending more time on a benefit for kids you've never met than you do with your own blood is not okay. Going to a spa when your son has a fever of 104 and not answering emergency calls, that officially makes you an unfit mother. This is outrageous. Stop the tape. Uh, no, this is clearly a disgruntled nanny. We... we might have something to learn here. Yeah, I know that you're really busy with your hair appointments and your Watsu massages and your attempts to stay young so your husband won't leave you, but here's an idea... why don't you try eating dinner with your child every once in a blue moon? And a head's up here, lady. Try smiling once in a while. People hate you! As for you, Mr. X, who the hell are you? Maybe you're asking the same about me. I know you've noticed my ass, but you probably don't recognize my face, so here's a little hint, okay? I'm the one who's been raising your son. Grayer is not an accessory. His mother didn't order him from a catalogue. Your son, your wife, are... are... are people in your home, human beings who are drowning in their desire for you to just... for you to look at them. You know, the truth is, I don't wish either of you harm. If for no other reason than you having the profound privilege of being Grayer's parents. Grayer loves you. He... he doesn't care what you're wearing or what you buy him or what school he gets into. He just... he just wants you there. That's it. And time's running out, and he won't love you unconditionally that much longer. So... for your own good, don't miss out on getting to know him. He is... he's truly an amazing amazing little person.