Now, I'm gonna tell you off. For six months I've lived alone in this apartment. All alone...

Oscar Madison: [to Felix, after he's said all he has to say] Now, I'm gonna tell you off. For six months I've lived alone in this apartment. All alone in eight big rooms. I was dejected, despondant, and disgusted. And then you moved in. My closest and dearest friend. [Starting to cry] Oscar Madison: And after three weeks of close personal contact, I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. Do me a favor, will you Felix? Move into the kitchen. Live with your pots, your pans, your ladle, your meat thermometer. When you want to come out just ring a bell, and I'll run into the bedroom. [about to break down] Oscar Madison: I'm asking you nicely, Felix, as a friend. Stay out of my way.