Life goes on even for those of us who are divorced, broke and sloppy
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Oscar Madison:
I'm $800 behind in alimony. Let's raise the stakes. Roy:
They can do it, you know. Oscar Madison:
Do what? Roy:
Throw you in jail. Oscar Madison:
Never. If she can't call me up once a week to aggravate me, she's not happy. Murray the Cop:
Aren't you worried about the kids? Oscar Madison:
Murray, the kids are living in their grandfather's house with a swimming pool in California. Can we just play cards? Roy:
I told you you'd get into trouble. It's because you don't know how manage anything. I should know - I'm your accountant. Oscar Madison:
If you're my accountant, how come I need money? Roy:
If you need money, how come you play poker? Oscar Madison:
'Cause I need money. Roy:
But you always lose. Oscar Madison:
That's why I need the money. Roy:
Then don't play poker. Oscar Madison:
Then don't come to my house and eat my potato chips. [grabs the bag of potato chips on the poker table and flings the entire contents all over the living room] Oscar Madison:
You see, wise guy? Potato chips! Murray the Cop:
Oh, beautiful, beautiful. [an argument ensues with everyone bickering all at once] Murray the Cop:
What are you yelling about? We're playing a friendly game! [the bickering continues] Murray the Cop:
All right, all right, ALL RIGHT! Calm down, calm down, take it easy. I'm a cop, you know - I can arrest the whole lousy game. [they all quiet down] Oscar Madison:
My friend Murray the cop is right. Let's just play cards and please hold them up. I can't see where I marked them. Roy:
He owes money to his wife, his government and his friends and he still won't take it seriously. Oscar Madison:
Life goes on even for those of us who are divorced, broke and sloppy
I'm $800 behind in alimony. Let's raise the stakes. Roy:
They can do it, you know. Oscar Madison:
Do what? Roy:
Throw you in jail. Oscar Madison:
Never. If she can't call me up once a week to aggravate me, she's not happy. Murray the Cop:
Aren't you worried about the kids? Oscar Madison:
Murray, the kids are living in their grandfather's house with a swimming pool in California. Can we just play cards? Roy:
I told you you'd get into trouble. It's because you don't know how manage anything. I should know - I'm your accountant. Oscar Madison:
If you're my accountant, how come I need money? Roy:
If you need money, how come you play poker? Oscar Madison:
'Cause I need money. Roy:
But you always lose. Oscar Madison:
That's why I need the money. Roy:
Then don't play poker. Oscar Madison:
Then don't come to my house and eat my potato chips. [grabs the bag of potato chips on the poker table and flings the entire contents all over the living room] Oscar Madison:
You see, wise guy? Potato chips! Murray the Cop:
Oh, beautiful, beautiful. [an argument ensues with everyone bickering all at once] Murray the Cop:
What are you yelling about? We're playing a friendly game! [the bickering continues] Murray the Cop:
All right, all right, ALL RIGHT! Calm down, calm down, take it easy. I'm a cop, you know - I can arrest the whole lousy game. [they all quiet down] Oscar Madison:
My friend Murray the cop is right. Let's just play cards and please hold them up. I can't see where I marked them. Roy:
He owes money to his wife, his government and his friends and he still won't take it seriously. Oscar Madison:
Life goes on even for those of us who are divorced, broke and sloppy
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.561
I'm 800 behind in alimony Let's raise the stakes
00:00:04.637 --> 00:00:05.604
She can do it
00:00:05.671 --> 00:00:06.638
What
00:00:06.705 --> 00:00:08.104
Throw you in jail
00:00:08.173 --> 00:00:10.641
If she can't aggravate me once a week she's not happy
00:00:10.709 --> 00:00:12.108
Aren't you worried about the kids
00:00:12.177 --> 00:00:14.027
The kids are living in their grandfather's house
00:00:14.346 --> 00:00:15.938
with a swimming pool in California
00:00:16.001 --> 00:00:17.573
Can we just play cards
00:00:17.065 --> 00:00:19.584
I said you'd get into trouble
00:00:19.652 --> 00:00:21.062
I should know I'm your accountant
00:00:21.687 --> 00:00:23.999
If you're my accountant how come I need money
00:00:23.155 --> 00:00:24.713
If you need money how come you play poker
00:00:24.079 --> 00:00:25.779
Because I need money
00:00:25.858 --> 00:00:26.079
You always lose
00:00:26.859 --> 00:00:28.121
That's why I need money
00:00:28.193 --> 00:00:29.353
Then don't play
00:00:29.428 --> 00:00:31.953
Then don't come to my house and eat my potato chips
00:00:32.999 --> 00:00:33.931
Beautiful Beautiful man
00:00:33.999 --> 00:00:36.433
Why are you yelling We're playing a friendly game
00:00:36.502 --> 00:00:38.766
Who's playing We've been talking since 8 00
00:00:38.837 --> 00:00:41.863
Since 7 00 I said then I'd leave at 12 00
00:00:41.094 --> 00:00:44.568
You want a banana in the mouth
00:00:44.643 --> 00:00:46.044
All right All right All right
00:00:46.512 --> 00:00:49.031
Calm down Calm down Take it easy
00:00:49.381 --> 00:00:52.003
I could arrest the whole lousy game
00:00:55.002 --> 00:00:57.579
Let's just play cards and please hold them up
00:00:57.656 --> 00:00:59.783
I can't see where I marked them
00:01:00.859 --> 00:01:02.486
He owes money to everyone
00:01:02.561 --> 00:01:04.999
and he still won't take it seriously
00:01:04.001 --> 00:01:06.023
Life goes on even for those
00:01:06.298 --> 00:01:08.001
who are divorced broke and sloppy
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Movie Summary
A New Yorker newly separated from his wife moves in with his best friend, a divorced sportswriter, but their ideas of housekeeping and lifestyles are as different as night and day.
Actors
Oscar Madison
Roy
