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Terry Hoitz:
Little boy on his 13th birthday, it's time to get laid.Allen Gamble:Already feels inappropriate.Terry Hoitz:So he goes to the lady at the barn and says, "Miss, I know you usually want money, but I don't have any money. It's my birthday, do you think I could have sex with you for this duck?"Allen Gamble:Was he a farmer? Because that's probably a health code violation to bring a duck into a place of prostitution.Terry Hoitz:They weren't going to have sex with duck!Allen Gamble:No, I just mean a health code violation to have the duck brought into a facility like that.Terry Hoitz:So anyway, she says "Yes, I'll do it." So he goes in there and gives it to her.Allen Gamble:He gives her what?Terry Hoitz:The high hard one, and she loves it! So she goes, "If you do that again, I'll give you your duck back". So he gets laid twice for free!Allen Gamble:I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. So the duck is payment for sexual intercourse?Terry Hoitz:Yes, he used it as payment and Now he's getting paid back the duck. He says, "Oh my God this is the greatest birthday ever!" He does it again. Now he's walking home, right?...Allen Gamble:So she was satisfied with the duck as currency?Allen Gamble:Okay.Terry Hoitz:So he's walking home, and can't wait to get home to tell his father. So he's walking down the street with the duck, and all of a sudden, 'Vroom!' A truck comes by and runs over his duck! Kills the duck!Allen Gamble:Kills the duck? So the duck is now dead?Terry Hoitz:The duck is dead! The kid starts crying, the truck driver stops, he's all upset, he didn't mean-.Allen Gamble: Of course he's crying, he's a 13 year old boy who just had sex twice and just watched his beloved duck die. So far I don't see how this is ever going to be funny.Terry Hoitz:The guy feels so bad about killing the duck so he gives him two dollars.Allen Gamble:And The kid's happy with the two bucks?Terry Hoitz:He's ecstatic! He got laid twice and Now he's got two dollars on top of it!Allen Gamble:Seems like a duck would be worth a lot more than two dollars.Terry Hoitz:Well this was awhile back. So he goes home and his dad says "What happened, what happened? Tell me, tell me!" He goes, "Dad, I got a fuck for the duck, I got a duck for the fuck, and I got two bucks for a fucked up duck!"Allen Gamble:So it's like a limerick.Terry Hoitz:You didn't think that was funny?Allen Gamble:I thought it was entertaining at the end, sure. The way all the words were put together, but in terms of content? No.Allen Gamble: Get the check