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"The Producers" quotes

The Producers poster
After putting together another Broadway flop, down-on-his-luck producer Max Bialystock teams up with timid accountant Leo Bloom in a get-rich-quick scheme to put on the world's worst show.

Director: Susan Stroman
Writer: Mel Brooks, Thomas Meehan
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, crime, musical
Year: 2005
MetaScore: 52/100
ImdbRating: 6.3
BoxOffice: $19,398,532
Released: 25 Dec 2005
Awards: 1 win & 17 nominations

134 video clips

Leo BloomMax BialystockFranz LiebkindUllaRoger De BrisPrison TrusteeMr. MarksCarmen GhiaWorkmanJudgeAccountantsHold Me-touch MeHold-me Touch-meSing Sing Prison GuardJason GreenStormtrooper RolfJury ForemanJack LapidusOfficer O'rourke
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Where did we go right - The Producers 00:23 Where did we go right How did it begin - The Producers 03:19 How did it begin Have you ever eaten with one - The Producers 00:25 Have you ever eaten with one You're HIS wife - The Producers 00:38 You're HIS wife I wanna be a producer - The Producers 01:35 I wanna be a producer I don't think I have the strength - The Producers 01:05 I don't think I have the strength Hold me touch me - The Producers 00:35 Hold me touch me I am going to the choreographers' ball this evening - The Producers 00:55 I am going to the choreographers' ball this evening I'll tell you when we're getting in too deep - The Producers 00:30 I'll tell you when we're getting in too deep THAT'S OUR HITLER - The Producers 00:15 THAT'S OUR HITLER Did you bring the checkie - The Producers 00:44 Did you bring the checkie Let's assume for a moment - The Producers 00:09 Let's assume for a moment What is your first name - The Producers 00:19 What is your first name How can I shoot you if you keep moving - The Producers 00:06 How can I shoot you if you keep moving Not many people know this - The Producers 00:20 Not many people know this Many different herrings - The Producers 01:00 Many different herrings Back in the closet - The Producers 00:06 Back in the closet Whom may I say is calling - The Producers 00:26 Whom may I say is calling You were right about one thing - The Producers 00:12 You were right about one thing How can I help you - The Producers 00:33 How can I help you I'm not going to the toilet - The Producers 00:07 I'm not going to the toilet The Fuhrer wasn't a mousy little mama's boy - The Producers 00:11 The Fuhrer wasn't a mousy little mama's boy I'm afraid you've mistaken me for someone with a spine - The Producers 00:11 I'm afraid you've mistaken me for someone with a... I'm not that fat - The Producers 00:19 I'm not that fat We might have several positions for you - The Producers 00:16 We might have several positions for you I'm drowning here - The Producers 00:43 I'm drowning here Is that anything like death - The Producers 00:13 Is that anything like death Do I smell the revolting stench of self esteem - The Producers 00:08 Do I smell the revolting stench of self esteem He's having a stroke - The Producers 00:05 He's having a stroke I'm having a rhetorical conversation - The Producers 00:07 I'm having a rhetorical conversation I was never a member of the Nazi Party - The Producers 00:09 I was never a member of the Nazi Party Not many people know zis - The Producers 00:46 Not many people know zis I was just a paper hanger - The Producers 00:53 I was just a paper hanger I'm hysterical and I'm wet - The Producers 00:20 I'm hysterical and I'm wet Here's one - The Producers 00:23 Here's one Bloom is staring at my gown - The Producers 00:54 Bloom is staring at my gown Thank you for smiling - The Producers 00:18 Thank you for smiling May I take your hat - The Producers 00:09 May I take your hat You'll find your happiness in Rio - The Producers 00:20 You'll find your happiness in Rio Violinists love to play an E string - The Producers 00:18 Violinists love to play an E string And now I'll be on me way - The Producers 00:15 And now I'll be on me way As quick as possible - The Producers 00:05 As quick as possible We're not alone - The Producers 00:08 We're not alone You mean that smell is you - The Producers 00:15 You mean that smell is you Ohh how I hate you - The Producers 00:18 Ohh how I hate you If your intention - The Producers 00:12 If your intention We never should've started this - The Producers 00:19 We never should've started this Now that's what I call celebrating - The Producers 00:07 Now that's what I call celebrating This crazy Kraut is crackers - The Producers 00:09 This crazy Kraut is crackers Feeling up the old lady - The Producers 00:11 Feeling up the old lady She's fantastic - The Producers 00:36 She's fantastic My name's not 'Alvin' - The Producers 00:25 My name's not 'Alvin' Hold me touch me - The Producers 00:08 Hold me touch me Never put your own money in the show - The Producers 00:13 Never put your own money in the show There's more to you than there is to you - The Producers 00:14 There's more to you than there is to you You sniveling cowards - The Producers 00:31 You sniveling cowards Und repeat after me - The Producers 01:19 Und repeat after me Don't forget to buy Mein Kampf in paper back - The Producers 00:24 Don't forget to buy Mein Kampf in paper back What happened I broke my other leg - The Producers 00:08 What happened I broke my other leg In the same day I'm taking the Siegfried Oath - The Producers 00:15 In the same day I'm taking the Siegfried Oath I want you to know - The Producers 00:18 I want you to know I must tell my birds - The Producers 00:05 I must tell my birds Don't be stupid - The Producers 00:08 Don't be stupid This is how you sing Haben Sie geh rt das Deutsche band - The Producers 00:18 This is how you sing Haben Sie geh rt das Deutsche band This is no good - The Producers 00:13 This is no good You made a fool of Hitler - The Producers 00:11 You made a fool of Hitler Of course that whole second act has to be rewritten - The Producers 00:13 Of course that whole second act has to be rewritten A Happy Ending will pep up your play - The Producers 00:17 A Happy Ending will pep up your play You are Max Bialystock - The Producers 00:09 You are Max Bialystock It's the mother lode - The Producers 00:09 It's the mother lode Why Bloom go so far camera right - The Producers 00:11 Why Bloom go so far camera right Break a leg Break a leg - The Producers 00:28 Break a leg Break a leg Always moving your lips along with the actors - The Producers 00:08 Always moving your lips along with the actors Why you miserable - The Producers 00:17 Why you miserable Your tie is all askew - The Producers 00:29 Your tie is all askew You're an accountant - The Producers 00:06 You're an accountant Forgive the pun - The Producers 00:12 Forgive the pun Remember ven Ulla Dance - The Producers 00:08 Remember ven Ulla Dance I know you hung up your coat while you were still in it - The Producers 00:21 I know you hung up your coat while you were still in it He's wearing a dress - The Producers 00:06 He's wearing a dress I'm a little busy - The Producers 00:08 I'm a little busy We're in too deep - The Producers 00:06 We're in too deep Let's get out of here before they kill us - The Producers 00:05 Let's get out of here before they kill us We find the defendant incredibly guilty - The Producers 00:10 We find the defendant incredibly guilty From the police - The Producers 00:09 From the police Mr Bialystock - The Producers 00:19 Mr Bialystock I would like to sing The little wooden boy - The Producers 00:07 I would like to sing The little wooden boy I made it out just like you told me to - The Producers 00:45 I made it out just like you told me to When you got it - The Producers 00:12 When you got it
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Cast

Max Bialystock - Nathan Lane
Leo Bloom - Matthew Broderick
Ulla - Uma Thurman
Franz Liebkind - Will Ferrell
Roger DeBris - Gary Beach
All Cast