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"The Santa Clause" quotes

The Santa Clause poster
When a man inadvertently makes Santa fall off of his roof on Christmas Eve, he finds himself magically recruited to take his place.

Director: John Pasquin
Writer: Leo Benvenuti, Steve Rudnick
Production: N/A
Year: 1994
MetaScore: 57/100
ImdbRating: 6.5
BoxOffice: $145,539,357
Released: 11 Nov 1994
Awards: 2 wins & 8 nominations
I want some ballet slippers - The Santa Clause 00:05 I want some ballet slippers Ho ho ho Merry Christmas - The Santa Clause 00:50 Ho ho ho Merry Christmas So if we go straight on this road and we hit I 94 - The Santa Clause 00:06 So if we go straight on this road and we hit I 94 Johnny naughty Johnny wait up - The Santa Clause 00:12 Johnny naughty Johnny wait up I ran real late today You wouldn't believe the traffic out here - The Santa Clause 00:20 I ran real late today You wouldn't believe the traffic... Fella if you can hear me I'm just looking for your identification - The Santa Clause 00:08 Fella if you can hear me I'm just looking for your... Where there's no chimney there's no fireplace - The Santa Clause 00:08 Where there's no chimney there's no fireplace Nice teeth - The Santa Clause 00:03 Nice teeth Santa Scott Calvin - The Santa Clause 00:20 Santa Scott Calvin Boy you got more important things to worry about you know - The Santa Clause 00:09 Boy you got more important things to worry about you know Great I'm starving - The Santa Clause 00:45 Great I'm starving I don't know Scott You're as healthy as a horse - The Santa Clause 00:35 I don't know Scott You're as healthy as a horse What's all this boo hooing going on here Hey how ya doing - The Santa Clause 00:24 What's all this boo hooing going on here Hey how ya... Look I know you're Scott Calvin - The Santa Clause 00:37 Look I know you're Scott Calvin Scott what was the last thing you and Charlie did - The Santa Clause 00:26 Scott what was the last thing you and Charlie did How do reindeer fly They don't have any wings - The Santa Clause 00:33 How do reindeer fly They don't have any wings CHARLIE What's that - The Santa Clause 00:25 CHARLIE What's that Did you or did you not read the card - The Santa Clause 00:35 Did you or did you not read the card Reindeer up on the roof - The Santa Clause 00:22 Reindeer up on the roof CHARLIE What do you mean you don't know - The Santa Clause 00:35 CHARLIE What do you mean you don't know Go home kids Visiting hours are over - The Santa Clause 00:09 Go home kids Visiting hours are over BERNARD Boy this bird is dry - The Santa Clause 00:06 BERNARD Boy this bird is dry Can we take a direct flight back to reality - The Santa Clause 00:06 Can we take a direct flight back to reality Thank you Charlie My dad is Santa Claus - The Santa Clause 00:06 Thank you Charlie My dad is Santa Claus This could be a really long night - The Santa Clause 00:33 This could be a really long night SCOTT You going to your mom's for dinner - The Santa Clause 00:07 SCOTT You going to your mom's for dinner From Neal I learn a lot from him He listens to me - The Santa Clause 00:09 From Neal I learn a lot from him He listens to me Wait a minute Hey I know where this is going - The Santa Clause 00:15 Wait a minute Hey I know where this is going Hey kid kid Kid who's in charge here - The Santa Clause 00:11 Hey kid kid Kid who's in charge here Sure there is You said you believed in Santa - The Santa Clause 00:07 Sure there is You said you believed in Santa I'm sorry Charlie - The Santa Clause 00:18 I'm sorry Charlie Well all he said was that Santa was more like a feeling - The Santa Clause 00:10 Well all he said was that Santa was more like a feeling All right Denny's It's always open - The Santa Clause 00:13 All right Denny's It's always open Just get some help You should see a doctor a shrink - The Santa Clause 00:09 Just get some help You should see a doctor a shrink Not too hot extra chocolate shaken not stirred - The Santa Clause 00:07 Not too hot extra chocolate shaken not stirred How'd you do that What'd it feel like Dad - The Santa Clause 00:08 How'd you do that What'd it feel like Dad Excuse me are we on a coffee break - The Santa Clause 00:10 Excuse me are we on a coffee break SCOTT Hey CHARLIE He disappeared - The Santa Clause 00:08 SCOTT Hey CHARLIE He disappeared Fabulous What happens if I fall off the roof - The Santa Clause 00:04 Fabulous What happens if I fall off the roof If something should happen to me put on my suit - The Santa Clause 00:07 If something should happen to me put on my suit Hold it There's no chimney here - The Santa Clause 00:13 Hold it There's no chimney here Look at my hair It's turning gray - The Santa Clause 00:13 Look at my hair It's turning gray Tinsel Not just for decoration - The Santa Clause 00:04 Tinsel Not just for decoration God Your Your weight - The Santa Clause 00:19 God Your Your weight Oh this thing You never know where it's been - The Santa Clause 00:17 Oh this thing You never know where it's been Not necessarily Could be rude or sarcastic Whatever it takes - The Santa Clause 00:06 Not necessarily Could be rude or sarcastic Whatever it takes I don't know what's happening to you - The Santa Clause 00:07 I don't know what's happening to you You're supposed to drink the milk - The Santa Clause 00:20 You're supposed to drink the milk What is it Charlie - The Santa Clause 00:18 What is it Charlie Look I am not Santa Claus - The Santa Clause 00:37 Look I am not Santa Claus It is Santa You killed him - The Santa Clause 00:11 It is Santa You killed him Nice sweater - The Santa Clause 00:06 Nice sweater And who gave you permission to tell Charlie there's no Santa Claus - The Santa Clause 00:09 And who gave you permission to tell Charlie there's no... These are Santa's reindeer aren't they - The Santa Clause 00:20 These are Santa's reindeer aren't they We're your worst nightmare - The Santa Clause 00:07 We're your worst nightmare What if I don't buy into this Santa Claus thing - The Santa Clause 00:36 What if I don't buy into this Santa Claus thing I'm in big trouble Mmm hmm - The Santa Clause 00:04 I'm in big trouble Mmm hmm SCOTT Yeah and you should see him walk on water - The Santa Clause 00:28 SCOTT Yeah and you should see him walk on water Seeing isn't believing believing is seeing - The Santa Clause 00:05 Seeing isn't believing believing is seeing What's all this boo hooing going on here Hey how ya doing - The Santa Clause 00:24 What's all this boo hooing going on here Hey how ya... Of course I believe in Santa Now please go to sleep - The Santa Clause 00:06 Of course I believe in Santa Now please go to sleep Well isn't that a pretty picture - The Santa Clause 00:13 Well isn't that a pretty picture Charlie do you know how to call 911 Sure 911 - The Santa Clause 00:06 Charlie do you know how to call 911 Sure 911 Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night - The Santa Clause 00:09 Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night I'll ship the list to your house - The Santa Clause 00:19 I'll ship the list to your house Where is he - The Santa Clause 00:11 Where is he Get the bag of toys And do what - The Santa Clause 00:14 Get the bag of toys And do what It was a dream Come on - The Santa Clause 00:17 It was a dream Come on You're fatter this year - The Santa Clause 00:36 You're fatter this year Charlie Charlie Stay away from those things - The Santa Clause 00:12 Charlie Charlie Stay away from those things It's okay I'm used to it I lived through the '60s - The Santa Clause 00:05 It's okay I'm used to it I lived through the... What about the reindeer - The Santa Clause 00:21 What about the reindeer You know I must say you look pretty good for your age - The Santa Clause 00:10 You know I must say you look pretty good for your age Go back to sleep - The Santa Clause 00:41 Go back to sleep Did I miss anything - The Santa Clause 01:16 Did I miss anything You know you're Scott Calvin - The Santa Clause 00:35 You know you're Scott Calvin What was the last thing you and Charlie did - The Santa Clause 01:00 What was the last thing you and Charlie did

Cast

Scott Calvin - Tim Allen
Charlie - Eric Lloyd
Bernard - David Krumholtz