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I just have no self-control!
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The Standups

I just have no self-control!" I'm trying to open it up.I don't have access to my hand

I just have no self-control!" I'm trying to open it up.
I don't have access to my hand

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.127
I just have no self-control!"
00:00:03.669 --> 00:00:07.214
I'm trying to open it up. I don't have access to my hand.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
15
Timestamp in Movie
00:12:50
Uploaded
Jun 30, 2025
Season
1
Episode
2
Genres
comedy
Production
Adrina Produkties BV

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Movie Summary

Comedy's freshest voices take the stage in LA for six half-hour specials packed with sly jokes, hilarious anecdotes and awkward confessions.
S01 • E06 [audience laughs] - The Standups 00:05
[audience laughs]
S01 • E05 Now my sister coaches our high school team because we all played growing up, - The Standups 00:12
Now my sister coaches our high school team because we all pl...
S01 • E02 She tells me to get... She's like, "Get up and get some water." - The Standups 00:07
She tells me to get... She's like, "Get up and get...
S01 • E04 I got a dog, like, four months before I broke up with my boyfriend, - The Standups 00:07
I got a dog, like, four months before I broke up with my boy...
S01 • E06 The highest level of male confidence is, when you reach the final stage, - The Standups 00:08
The highest level of male confidence is, when you reach the ...
S01 • E01 Go to like a reg... You live near here. Go to a regular place." - The Standups 00:11
Go to like a reg... You live near here. Go to a regular plac...
S01 • E02 For some reason, I think the best way to help with gravity is to walk like a pony. - The Standups 00:06
For some reason, I think the best way to help with gravity i...
S01 • E05 And, on my way, I stopped off at my favorite bakery to get a jelly donut. - The Standups 00:05
And, on my way, I stopped off at my favorite bakery to get a...
S01 • E03 If they call you at 3:00 a.m., - The Standups 00:05
If they call you at 3:00 a.m.,
S01 • E02 [audience laughs] - The Standups 00:08
[audience laughs]
S01 • E04 I'll need something on retainer that will give me unconditional love, - The Standups 00:07
I'll need something on retainer that will give me uncon...
S01 • E05 I like to eat those at the game - The Standups 00:05
I like to eat those at the game
S01 • E06 [audience member whoops] - The Standups 00:04
[audience member whoops]
S01 • E01 I went into Starbucks, ordered an ice coffee with milk, - The Standups 00:06
I went into Starbucks, ordered an ice coffee with milk,
S01 • E05 So I'm at the bakery, I'm getting the jelly D. - The Standups 00:05
So I'm at the bakery, I'm getting the jelly D.
S01 • E02 I look like... like one of those sad dogs in those Sarah McLachlan commercials. - The Standups 00:06
I look like... like one of those sad dogs in those Sarah McL...
S01 • E06 I will not be surprised - The Standups 00:05
I will not be surprised
S01 • E04 You know? I'm not gonna be like, "Do it, Luigi!" - The Standups 00:05
You know? I'm not gonna be like, "Do it, Luigi!&qu...
S01 • E03 I think in certain jobs, you shouldn't pray to God for having it. - The Standups 00:05
I think in certain jobs, you shouldn't pray to God for ...
S01 • E01 You're like, "I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what I said." - The Standups 00:07
You're like, "I'm pretty sure he doesn't...