To watch in HD, get ClipCafe PRO
I would rather wake up to someone breaking into my house, literally, than that
Please log in to add to collections.
The Standups

I would rather wake up to someone breakinginto my house, literally, than that

I would rather wake up to someone breaking
into my house, literally, than that

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.879
I would rather wake up to someone breaking into my house, literally, than that.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
18
Timestamp in Movie
00:06:45
Uploaded
Jun 30, 2025
Season
1
Episode
4
Genres
comedy
Production
Adrina Produkties BV

Want This Clip in HD?

Upgrade for HD/4K downloads and unlimited access. Upgrade now →

Movie Summary

Comedy's freshest voices take the stage in LA for six half-hour specials packed with sly jokes, hilarious anecdotes and awkward confessions.
S01 • E05 So I was going home to try and catch the baby, - The Standups 00:06
So I was going home to try and catch the baby,
S01 • E02 A gold star, that's lingo for, "I ain't never slept with no man." - The Standups 00:07
A gold star, that's lingo for, "I ain't never...
S01 • E03 I don't want to go back and forth with this bitch all night." - The Standups 00:04
I don't want to go back and forth with this bitch all n...
S01 • E06 She's like, "You're 33. You should stop playing video games." - The Standups 00:13
She's like, "You're 33. You should stop playi...
S01 • E04 Because I woke up and I'd freeze, - The Standups 00:07
Because I woke up and I'd freeze,
S01 • E05 And she has other kids that are outside of her walking around. - The Standups 00:04
And she has other kids that are outside of her walking aroun...
S01 • E01 And when you're married for a long time, fighting is... It can happen... - The Standups 00:04
And when you're married for a long time, fighting is......
S01 • E02 I've actually only touched a penis once in my lifetime, - The Standups 00:07
I've actually only touched a penis once in my lifetime,
S01 • E05 One of them is named Reed - The Standups 00:04
One of them is named Reed
S01 • E04 "I just have a squeaky duvet, that's a thing. Don't worry about it. - The Standups 00:04
"I just have a squeaky duvet, that's a thing. Don&...
S01 • E06 You're gonna watch seven hours of cat-faced women - The Standups 00:07
You're gonna watch seven hours of cat-faced women
S01 • E01 [laughter] - The Standups 00:07
[laughter]
S01 • E04 Smells like sewage. Don't overthink it." - The Standups 00:08
Smells like sewage. Don't overthink it."
S01 • E05 Looked at my sister all pregnant and he said to all of us, - The Standups 00:08
Looked at my sister all pregnant and he said to all of us,
S01 • E06 Last Tuesday, I won a Super Bowl." - The Standups 00:09
Last Tuesday, I won a Super Bowl."
S01 • E01 And so we have sedatives to give her, - The Standups 00:21
And so we have sedatives to give her,
S01 • E05 But before he could answer, he followed it with, - The Standups 00:12
But before he could answer, he followed it with,
S01 • E02 We played Nintendo every day after school. It was true love. - The Standups 00:04
We played Nintendo every day after school. It was true love.
S01 • E04 [audience members whoop] - The Standups 00:05
[audience members whoop]
S01 • E02 We would play Super Mario Brothers - The Standups 00:06
We would play Super Mario Brothers