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I'll need something on retainer that will give me unconditional love
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The Standups

I'll need something on retainerthat will give me unconditional love, maybe go down on me."...

I'll need something on retainer
that will give me unconditional love, maybe go down on me." I'm not gonna, like

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.545
I'll need something on retainer that will give me unconditional love,
00:00:04.629 --> 00:00:05.063
maybe go down on me."
00:00:05.713 --> 00:00:07.048
I'm not gonna, like...
Duration
7 seconds
Views
19
Timestamp in Movie
00:13:11
Uploaded
Jun 30, 2025
Season
1
Episode
4
Genres
comedy
Production
Adrina Produkties BV

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Movie Summary

Comedy's freshest voices take the stage in LA for six half-hour specials packed with sly jokes, hilarious anecdotes and awkward confessions.
S01 • E06 [audience member whoops] - The Standups 00:04
[audience member whoops]
S01 • E05 I like to eat those at the game - The Standups 00:05
I like to eat those at the game
S01 • E01 I went into Starbucks, ordered an ice coffee with milk, - The Standups 00:06
I went into Starbucks, ordered an ice coffee with milk,
S01 • E05 So I'm at the bakery, I'm getting the jelly D. - The Standups 00:05
So I'm at the bakery, I'm getting the jelly D.
S01 • E02 I look like... like one of those sad dogs in those Sarah McLachlan commercials. - The Standups 00:06
I look like... like one of those sad dogs in those Sarah McL...
S01 • E06 I will not be surprised - The Standups 00:05
I will not be surprised
S01 • E04 You know? I'm not gonna be like, "Do it, Luigi!" - The Standups 00:05
You know? I'm not gonna be like, "Do it, Luigi!&qu...
S01 • E03 I think in certain jobs, you shouldn't pray to God for having it. - The Standups 00:05
I think in certain jobs, you shouldn't pray to God for ...
S01 • E01 You're like, "I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what I said." - The Standups 00:07
You're like, "I'm pretty sure he doesn't...
S01 • E06 "Better rubber band up halfway through your little skit." - The Standups 00:09
"Better rubber band up halfway through your little skit...
S01 • E05 The woman that served it to me - The Standups 00:08
The woman that served it to me
S01 • E04 I don't know. If I woke up and it was happening, I might not fight it off. - The Standups 00:04
I don't know. If I woke up and it was happening, I migh...
S01 • E02 Please adopt me!" - The Standups 00:08
Please adopt me!"
S01 • E03 Have you ever seen a boxer before a fight? What the fuck is he praying about? - The Standups 00:05
Have you ever seen a boxer before a fight? What the fuck is ...
S01 • E01 [laughter] - The Standups 00:13
[laughter]
S01 • E04 I would not be like, "Oh, my dog's going down on me." - The Standups 00:05
I would not be like, "Oh, my dog's going down on m...
S01 • E03 They're like, "Lord, give me the strength to knock this motherfucker out. - The Standups 00:05
They're like, "Lord, give me the strength to knock...
S01 • E05 So it was kind of like winning that district championship all over again. - The Standups 00:05
So it was kind of like winning that district championship al...
S01 • E04 I would try to maybe fantasize about a famous dog, - The Standups 00:07
I would try to maybe fantasize about a famous dog,
S01 • E02 Chelsea's so embarrassed, she's like, "Get her out." - The Standups 00:06
Chelsea's so embarrassed, she's like, "Get he...