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I've never weighed 300 pounds
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The Standups

I've never weighed 300 pounds, but I look pretty amazing for a guythat used to weigh 300...

I've never weighed 300 pounds, but I look pretty amazing for a guy
that used to weigh 300 pounds

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.502
I've never weighed 300 pounds,
00:00:02.585 --> 00:00:05.713
but I look pretty amazing for a guy that used to weigh 300 pounds.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
31
Timestamp in Movie
00:11:35
Uploaded
Jun 30, 2025
Season
1
Episode
1
Genres
comedy
Production
Adrina Produkties BV

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Movie Summary

Comedy's freshest voices take the stage in LA for six half-hour specials packed with sly jokes, hilarious anecdotes and awkward confessions.
S01 • E03 They put this person on a pedestal, - The Standups 00:06
They put this person on a pedestal,
S01 • E02 I was like, "Hey, man, can I ask, - The Standups 00:07
I was like, "Hey, man, can I ask,
S01 • E04 No one wants them." - The Standups 00:07
No one wants them."
S01 • E06 They opened a CrossFit directly across the street from my house in Queens. - The Standups 00:05
They opened a CrossFit directly across the street from my ho...
S01 • E05 It's a very serious thing to go through and she healed - The Standups 00:08
It's a very serious thing to go through and she healed
S01 • E01 Today's my cheat day obviously, but normally I'm pretty strict." - The Standups 00:10
Today's my cheat day obviously, but normally I'm p...
S01 • E02 Like... Like, on a scale of Michael Phelps to Snoop Dogg, how high am I?" - The Standups 00:12
Like... Like, on a scale of Michael Phelps to Snoop Dogg, ho...
S01 • E03 I'm not going to put her in the same category as 9/11 firefighters, - The Standups 00:09
I'm not going to put her in the same category as 9/11 f...
S01 • E06 So now, every afternoon, - The Standups 00:06
So now, every afternoon,
S01 • E04 My headline wasn't like, "Squawk! I'm single!" - The Standups 00:06
My headline wasn't like, "Squawk! I'm single!...
S01 • E05 And the show that I had was at a wine bar - The Standups 00:07
And the show that I had was at a wine bar
S01 • E04 I wasn't like, "I love birds." - The Standups 00:04
I wasn't like, "I love birds."
S01 • E01 I like apples, but I only like pre-cut apples. - The Standups 00:04
I like apples, but I only like pre-cut apples.
S01 • E04 So I looked, - The Standups 00:05
So I looked,
S01 • E01 [laughter] - The Standups 00:07
[laughter]
S01 • E02 "Let's just say I did." - The Standups 00:08
"Let's just say I did."
S01 • E03 She has inspired millions of people, and I give her that, - The Standups 00:06
She has inspired millions of people, and I give her that,
S01 • E05 So, they're just like, "Come to my show, - The Standups 00:10
So, they're just like, "Come to my show,
S01 • E06 I'm gonna nap again." - The Standups 00:08
I'm gonna nap again."
S01 • E04 It was the part of the profile, "Pets you'd be cool with." - The Standups 00:06
It was the part of the profile, "Pets you'd be coo...