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The Standups

Please adopt me!" I lost all control of my body

Please adopt me!" I lost all control of my body

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.067
Please adopt me!"
00:00:05.338 --> 00:00:07.715
I lost all control of my body.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
20
Timestamp in Movie
00:13:27
Uploaded
Jun 30, 2025
Season
1
Episode
2
Genres
comedy
Production
Adrina Produkties BV

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Movie Summary

Comedy's freshest voices take the stage in LA for six half-hour specials packed with sly jokes, hilarious anecdotes and awkward confessions.
S01 • E01 [laughter] - The Standups 00:13
[laughter]
S01 • E04 I would not be like, "Oh, my dog's going down on me." - The Standups 00:05
I would not be like, "Oh, my dog's going down on m...
S01 • E03 They're like, "Lord, give me the strength to knock this motherfucker out. - The Standups 00:05
They're like, "Lord, give me the strength to knock...
S01 • E05 So it was kind of like winning that district championship all over again. - The Standups 00:05
So it was kind of like winning that district championship al...
S01 • E04 I would try to maybe fantasize about a famous dog, - The Standups 00:07
I would try to maybe fantasize about a famous dog,
S01 • E02 Chelsea's so embarrassed, she's like, "Get her out." - The Standups 00:06
Chelsea's so embarrassed, she's like, "Get he...
S01 • E05 [audience applauds] - The Standups 00:07
[audience applauds]
S01 • E06 I don't like you." - The Standups 00:07
I don't like you."
S01 • E03 Let him never walk again, in Jesus' name, my Lord." - The Standups 00:08
Let him never walk again, in Jesus' name, my Lord."...
S01 • E02 You created this monster!" - The Standups 00:07
You created this monster!"
S01 • E01 [laughter] - The Standups 00:12
[laughter]
S01 • E04 Eddie from Frasier. - The Standups 00:06
Eddie from Frasier.
S01 • E06 Have you ever had a long conversation with a man - The Standups 00:05
Have you ever had a long conversation with a man
S01 • E05 The first one was in college at a place called Bagel and Deli. - The Standups 00:04
The first one was in college at a place called Bagel and Del...
S01 • E03 In Atlanta one time, I saw these hos praying before they danced. - The Standups 00:05
In Atlanta one time, I saw these hos praying before they dan...
S01 • E04 I'm sorry to even bring it up. That your dog would go down on you. - The Standups 00:05
I'm sorry to even bring it up. That your dog would go d...
S01 • E02 I get home and I pass out because I can't function. - The Standups 00:04
I get home and I pass out because I can't function.
S01 • E05 And in college, the way that I ate, - The Standups 00:09
And in college, the way that I ate,
S01 • E03 I was like, "What are these hos asking Jesus for right now?" - The Standups 00:07
I was like, "What are these hos asking Jesus for right ...
S01 • E01 I don't... I've never ordered milk publicly in the history of my life. - The Standups 00:05
I don't... I've never ordered milk publicly in the...