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So he got two weekends a month
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The Standups

So he got two weekends a month, but full custodyof what I eat in the dark

So he got two weekends a month, but full custody
of what I eat in the dark

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.543
So he got two weekends a month,
00:00:02.626 --> 00:00:05.087
but full custody of what I eat in the dark.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
23
Timestamp in Movie
00:14:33
Uploaded
Jul 01, 2025
Season
1
Episode
5
Genres
comedy
Production
Adrina Produkties BV

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Movie Summary

Comedy's freshest voices take the stage in LA for six half-hour specials packed with sly jokes, hilarious anecdotes and awkward confessions.
S01 • E03 [audience laughs] - The Standups 00:06
[audience laughs]
S01 • E06 And, as a man, I am blown away... - The Standups 00:04
And, as a man, I am blown away...
S01 • E02 Apparently shoulder pads are out of style, so... - The Standups 00:04
Apparently shoulder pads are out of style, so...
S01 • E05 And then I graduated Magna Cum Laude. - The Standups 00:05
And then I graduated Magna Cum Laude.
S01 • E02 I'm going to stick with being a comedian. So that's who I am. - The Standups 00:04
I'm going to stick with being a comedian. So that'...
S01 • E01 I went to Wal-Mart. I go there. I'm fine with them, you know. - The Standups 00:05
I went to Wal-Mart. I go there. I'm fine with them, you...
S01 • E06 In their penises, - The Standups 00:08
In their penises,
S01 • E04 And of course, I was like, "No, no!" - The Standups 00:08
And of course, I was like, "No, no!"
S01 • E02 I wanted to tell you guys a little bit about what I have been through, - The Standups 00:06
I wanted to tell you guys a little bit about what I have bee...
S01 • E01 I'm a Wal-Mart guy. I'm like, "That's where I'm at." - The Standups 00:09
I'm a Wal-Mart guy. I'm like, "That's wh...
S01 • E05 And I just transferred to a bigger bagel shop in Chicago. - The Standups 00:05
And I just transferred to a bigger bagel shop in Chicago.
S01 • E03 [angrily] Mexicans, stop putting stickers on the back of your fucking cars. - The Standups 00:05
[angrily] Mexicans, stop putting stickers on the back of you...
S01 • E04 [audience applauds] - The Standups 00:04
[audience applauds]
S01 • E02 Even though I'm a big old lesbian right now, - The Standups 00:06
Even though I'm a big old lesbian right now,
S01 • E05 Which I could not have done without my theater degree. - The Standups 00:04
Which I could not have done without my theater degree.
S01 • E06 They see a hot girl. "I'm gonna fxck you!" That's nuts! That's nuts! - The Standups 00:06
They see a hot girl. "I'm gonna fxck you!" Th...
S01 • E01 Sometimes when you go in there, some of the people that work there, - The Standups 00:15
Sometimes when you go in there, some of the people that work...
S01 • E02 I did not come out until I was 25 years old, - The Standups 00:08
I did not come out until I was 25 years old,
S01 • E04 No, I was just... You can't do it, obviously, and I was like, "No!" - The Standups 00:07
No, I was just... You can't do it, obviously, and I was...
S01 • E06 I always react to beautiful women like I just missed the subway. - The Standups 00:04
I always react to beautiful women like I just missed the sub...