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"The Tao of Steve" quotes

The Tao of Steve poster
Underachieving, overweight kindergarten teacher Dex finds a woman who forces him to reexamine his Zen-like system of seduction.

Director: Jenniphr Goodman
Writer: Duncan North, Greer Goodman, Jenniphr Goodman
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, drama, romance
Year: 2000
MetaScore: 70/100
ImdbRating: 6.7
BoxOffice: $4,342,203
Released: 01 Sep 2000
Awards: 2 nominations

48 video clips

DexRickDaveSydPriestJulieMaggieDoctor
Look at me okay - The Tao of Steve 00:35 Look at me okay Do you want to have sex with her Definitely - The Tao of Steve 00:26 Do you want to have sex with her Definitely Right right Remember okay both men and women want to have sex - The Tao of Steve 00:15 Right right Remember okay both men and women want to have... Doing stuff is overrated Like Hitler he did a lot - The Tao of Steve 00:11 Doing stuff is overrated Like Hitler he did a lot Be desireless be excellent and be gone - The Tao of Steve 00:07 Be desireless be excellent and be gone What do you look for in a woman - The Tao of Steve 00:06 What do you look for in a woman I'm serious if you hang out with women as friends you're doing your research in the wrong library - The Tao of Steve 00:14 I'm serious if you hang out with women as friends... Right I want to say that it's cool you get to - The Tao of Steve 00:37 Right I want to say that it's cool you get to You've got so many great books - The Tao of Steve 00:12 You've got so many great books Dex is just bitter because he's never been in love - The Tao of Steve 00:07 Dex is just bitter because he's never been in love Don Giovanni slept with thousands of women - The Tao of Steve 00:07 Don Giovanni slept with thousands of women Steve is the prototypical cool American male - The Tao of Steve 00:20 Steve is the prototypical cool American male I'm going to tell you this one last time - The Tao of Steve 00:11 I'm going to tell you this one last time That's almost as ridiculous as your sleeping diet - The Tao of Steve 00:08 That's almost as ridiculous as your sleeping diet What do you think You think all Buddhist monks are like the Dalai Lama - The Tao of Steve 00:19 What do you think You think all Buddhist monks are like the... No one ever says Hey God how was Your day - The Tao of Steve 00:18 No one ever says Hey God how was Your day So if I'm not a Steve then what am I - The Tao of Steve 00:10 So if I'm not a Steve then what am I Dating is so tricky That's all I mean you're really cool - The Tao of Steve 00:14 Dating is so tricky That's all I mean you're... Oh yeah actually I made a schedule on my computer - The Tao of Steve 00:08 Oh yeah actually I made a schedule on my computer How can you not love a British rock band consisting of four teenage bumblebees - The Tao of Steve 00:05 How can you not love a British rock band consisting of four... But I think seriously most people want a composite of the opposite sex - The Tao of Steve 00:31 But I think seriously most people want a composite of the... But you've never been happy with any women you've dated - The Tao of Steve 00:16 But you've never been happy with any women you've... Would you describe this as a typical morning for you - The Tao of Steve 00:11 Would you describe this as a typical morning for you So you smoke pot for breakfast - The Tao of Steve 00:10 So you smoke pot for breakfast This takes us to the second rule of being Steve - The Tao of Steve 00:10 This takes us to the second rule of being Steve There's a certain order you're supposed to do things in - The Tao of Steve 00:11 There's a certain order you're supposed to do... That takes us to part three of the Tao of Steve - The Tao of Steve 00:12 That takes us to part three of the Tao of Steve Couldn't resist my powerful penetrating stare could you - The Tao of Steve 00:09 Couldn't resist my powerful penetrating stare could you So if you're falling in love with me why are you with all these other women - The Tao of Steve 00:13 So if you're falling in love with me why are you with... You think it's more honest to pretend to listen to a woman - The Tao of Steve 00:13 You think it's more honest to pretend to listen to a... There will be walking Yeah - The Tao of Steve 00:12 There will be walking Yeah Good night Rick - The Tao of Steve 00:19 Good night Rick The Tao of Steve isn't about picking up lots of women - The Tao of Steve 00:08 The Tao of Steve isn't about picking up lots of women Yeah man You can't just say Hey I'm Dave I like smoking pot - The Tao of Steve 00:09 Yeah man You can't just say Hey I'm Dave I like... Stop looking at me like that - The Tao of Steve 00:09 Stop looking at me like that Do you smoke - The Tao of Steve 00:07 Do you smoke Figure out what you're excellent at - The Tao of Steve 00:11 Figure out what you're excellent at Did you just kiss my boo boo - The Tao of Steve 00:10 Did you just kiss my boo boo Right I want to say that it's cool you get to - The Tao of Steve 00:12 Right I want to say that it's cool you get to So does this type of thing usually work on young philosophy students - The Tao of Steve 00:08 So does this type of thing usually work on young philosophy... I don't want God to punish you Okay - The Tao of Steve 00:07 I don't want God to punish you Okay If any part of you touches any part of me I have a knife - The Tao of Steve 00:06 If any part of you touches any part of me I have a knife Why in the world would I lie about a spider - The Tao of Steve 00:33 Why in the world would I lie about a spider Can I talk to you a second I'm blanching the butter - The Tao of Steve 00:07 Can I talk to you a second I'm blanching the butter You guys are all Steves and I'm Gomer fucking Pyle man - The Tao of Steve 00:05 You guys are all Steves and I'm Gomer fucking Pyle man I'm not looking for enlightenment I'm looking for a girlfriend That's it - The Tao of Steve 00:06 I'm not looking for enlightenment I'm looking for... I mean I wish I No - The Tao of Steve 00:04 I mean I wish I No

Cast

Dex - Donal Logue
Beth - Ayelet Kaznelson
Ed - John Hines
Priest - John Harrington Bland
Gossipy Woman - Jessica Gormley
All Cast