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THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE YOU CAN
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The VelociPastor

THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THEFIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE YOU CAN

THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE
FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE YOU CAN

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.587
THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE YOU CAN.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
70
Timestamp in Movie
00:17:01
Uploaded
Jun 20, 2025
Genres
action, adventure, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.
EVERY DRUG-DEALING MURDERER - The VelociPastor 00:04
EVERY DRUG-DEALING MURDERER
EVERY RAPIST OR PEDOPHILE - The VelociPastor 00:08
EVERY RAPIST OR PEDOPHILE
YOU AND I BOTH KNOW - The VelociPastor 00:06
YOU AND I BOTH KNOW
LOOK, I KNOW A LOT OF BAD PEOPLE. - The VelociPastor 00:04
LOOK, I KNOW A LOT OF BAD PEOPLE.
YOU THINK I LIKE TURNING TRICKS TO PAY FOR COLLEGE - The VelociPastor 00:08
YOU THINK I LIKE TURNING TRICKS TO PAY FOR COLLEGE
(DOUG SOBS) - The VelociPastor 00:07
(DOUG SOBS)
HELLO, MY CHILD, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN - The VelociPastor 00:05
HELLO, MY CHILD, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN
PADRE, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME, LET'S SEE. - The VelociPastor 00:04
PADRE, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME, LET'S SEE.
IT'S BEEN ABOUT TWO YEARS. - The VelociPastor 00:04
IT'S BEEN ABOUT TWO YEARS.
(COUGHS) - The VelociPastor 00:06
(COUGHS)
- LISTEN PADRE, FRANKIE FUCKING MERMAID SMOKES - The VelociPastor 00:08
- LISTEN PADRE, FRANKIE FUCKING MERMAID SMOKES
What is it that you would like to confess - The VelociPastor 00:26
What is it that you would like to confess
- OH JEEZ, I GUESS WE COULD COVER THE LAST FOUR DAYS. - The VelociPastor 00:05
- OH JEEZ, I GUESS WE COULD COVER THE LAST FOUR DAYS.
THEN I THREW THE BABY IN THE RIVER, - The VelociPastor 00:06
THEN I THREW THE BABY IN THE RIVER,
THEN I PIMP BITCHES, I DO DRUGS, - The VelociPastor 00:09
THEN I PIMP BITCHES, I DO DRUGS,
THEY TELL ME TO KILL PEOPLE, SO I KILL PEOPLE, - The VelociPastor 00:06
THEY TELL ME TO KILL PEOPLE, SO I KILL PEOPLE,
OH SHIT, ACTUALLY, A COUPLE MONTHS AGO, - The VelociPastor 00:07
OH SHIT, ACTUALLY, A COUPLE MONTHS AGO,
(OMINOUS MUSIC) - The VelociPastor 00:08
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
KINDA GAVE ME A HARD-ON, PADRE, - The VelociPastor 00:04
KINDA GAVE ME A HARD-ON, PADRE,
- You... - OH, ACTUALLY, - The VelociPastor 00:09
- You... - OH, ACTUALLY,