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"The Watch" quotes

The Watch poster
Four men who form a neighborhood watch group as a way to get out of their day-to-day family routines find themselves defending the Earth from an alien invasion.

Director: Akiva Schaffer
Writer: Jared Stern, Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, sci-fi
Year: 2012
MetaScore: 36/100
ImdbRating: 5.7
BoxOffice: $35,353,000
Released: 27 Jul 2012
Awards: 2 nominations

68 video clips

JamarcusFranklinEvanBobManfredChuchoProm DateChelseaHero Alien
Also I have this one scenario in my mind - The Watch 00:33 Also I have this one scenario in my mind Wait a second I've seen this stuff before - The Watch 00:09 Wait a second I've seen this stuff before Can I just say Bob that these are the shits - The Watch 00:11 Can I just say Bob that these are the shits Here's the best case scenario - The Watch 00:10 Here's the best case scenario Pigs have uniforms I think we should have uniforms too - The Watch 00:07 Pigs have uniforms I think we should have uniforms too Lock and load bitches Anything from outer space kill it - The Watch 00:05 Lock and load bitches Anything from outer space kill it Nice to meet you - The Watch 00:04 Nice to meet you Neighborhood Watch what a fucking joke - The Watch 00:05 Neighborhood Watch what a fucking joke Whoa What the fuck is he doing here - The Watch 00:09 Whoa What the fuck is he doing here Listen to my words and hear his face - The Watch 00:04 Listen to my words and hear his face Singing was their hobby Closing ass was their job - The Watch 00:05 Singing was their hobby Closing ass was their job That is the best 2 300 I ever spent - The Watch 00:08 That is the best 2 300 I ever spent Fucking alien came on my face - The Watch 00:04 Fucking alien came on my face Is it true your dad ripped your last boyfriend's dick off - The Watch 00:05 Is it true your dad ripped your last boyfriend's dick... When are you going to take the plunge and knock a few out - The Watch 00:14 When are you going to take the plunge and knock a few out You don't fuck with Bob You show Bob respect - The Watch 00:34 You don't fuck with Bob You show Bob respect Costco is for members only - The Watch 00:04 Costco is for members only We are already among you - The Watch 00:06 We are already among you If being overly aggressive and a little bit snippy was a crime - The Watch 00:11 If being overly aggressive and a little bit snippy was a... Welcome to the candy shop motherfuckers - The Watch 00:04 Welcome to the candy shop motherfuckers It's okay It's okay - The Watch 00:06 It's okay It's okay You've been planning an alien invasion in my Costco - The Watch 00:05 You've been planning an alien invasion in my Costco BRESSMAN: Wait, what's happening? Did we win? - The Watch BRESSMAN: Wait, what's happening? Did we win? Can I just say Bob that these are the shits - The Watch Can I just say Bob that these are the shits (CLATTERING) (GASPS) - The Watch (CLATTERING) (GASPS) Costco is for members onIy - The Watch Costco is for members onIy EVAN: Get back, Abby! - The Watch EVAN: Get back, Abby! FrankIin, the switch ! - The Watch FrankIin, the switch ! FRANKLIN: Evan, they're not dying ! - The Watch FRANKLIN: Evan, they're not dying ! Fucking aIien came on my face - The Watch Fucking aIien came on my face Get it off that thing. - The Watch Get it off that thing. (GRUNTING) - The Watch (GRUNTING) He Iikes it. Jamarcus, he Iikes it. - The Watch He Iikes it. Jamarcus, he Iikes it. Hey, it's beer. - The Watch Hey, it's beer. Hey. - The Watch Hey. Hi. - The Watch Hi. How about you - The Watch How about you How does it feeI, Evan, to be in a cIub of one? - The Watch How does it feeI, Evan, to be in a cIub of one? If being overIy aggressive and a IittIe bit snippy was a crime - The Watch If being overIy aggressive and a IittIe bit snippy was a... Is it true your dad ripped your Iast boyfriend's dick off - The Watch Is it true your dad ripped your Iast boyfriend's dick... It worked ! AII right! - The Watch It worked ! AII right! Jamarcus, what are you doing? - The Watch Jamarcus, what are you doing? Listen to my words and hear his face - The Watch Listen to my words and hear his face Lock and Ioad bitches Anything from outer space kiII it - The Watch Lock and Ioad bitches Anything from outer space kiII it My idea didn't work. - The Watch My idea didn't work. Neighborhood Watch what a fucking joke - The Watch Neighborhood Watch what a fucking joke Nice to meet you - The Watch Nice to meet you Nobody's here. - The Watch Nobody's here. Okay. ReaIIy hiIarious. - The Watch Okay. ReaIIy hiIarious. "OMG, Mandy's party is so awesome." - The Watch "OMG, Mandy's party is so awesome." (OWL HOOTING) - The Watch (OWL HOOTING) Pigs have uniforms I think we shouId have uniforms too - The Watch Pigs have uniforms I think we shouId have uniforms too (SCREAMS) - The Watch (SCREAMS) Shit. - The Watch Shit. Singing was their hobby CIosing ass was their job - The Watch Singing was their hobby CIosing ass was their job That is the best 2 300 I ever spent - The Watch That is the best 2 300 I ever spent (THE SOUNDS OF SlLENCE PLAYING IN SPANISH) - The Watch (THE SOUNDS OF SlLENCE PLAYING IN SPANISH) This is Manfred's. - The Watch This is Manfred's. Wait a second I've seen this stuff before - The Watch Wait a second I've seen this stuff before We are aIready among you - The Watch We are aIready among you WeIcome to the candy shop motherfuckers - The Watch WeIcome to the candy shop motherfuckers What is going on? - The Watch What is going on? What's the best case on this one - The Watch What's the best case on this one (WHISPERING) What is that? - The Watch (WHISPERING) What is that? Yeah ! - The Watch Yeah ! You don't fuck with Bob You show Bob respect - The Watch You don't fuck with Bob You show Bob respect You've been pIanning an aIien invasion in my Costco - The Watch You've been pIanning an aIien invasion in my Costco

Cast

Evan - Ben Stiller
Bob - Vince Vaughn
Franklin - Jonah Hill
Jamarcus - Richard Ayoade
Abby - Rosemarie DeWitt
All Cast