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Theo Von: No Offense

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Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.668
[cat sounds]
00:00:02.877 --> 00:00:04.628
Sorry for the bad service.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
28
Timestamp in Movie
00:09:40
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Known for always saying the unexpected and telling it like it is, even at the expense of offending, Louisiana comedian Theo Von returns home to film his first stand-up comedy special for Netflix at the Civic Theater in New Orleans.
I just gave birth to a bunch of babies in a cardboard box in the kitchen. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
I just gave birth to a bunch of babies in a cardboard box in...
And we's all out of milk." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
And we's all out of milk."
This me every time I leave Denny's. "Man, fuck this place, man." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:09
This me every time I leave Denny's. "Man, fuck thi...
In case there's a drive-by, I go down with this shithole. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
In case there's a drive-by, I go down with this shithol...
Thank you." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Thank you."
Oh, I don't know why it just makes me so mad. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
Oh, I don't know why it just makes me so mad.
I gotta quit going, man. I'm gonna quit. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I gotta quit going, man. I'm gonna quit.
I used to go a lot 'cause my ex-girlfriend lived by a Denny's, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
I used to go a lot 'cause my ex-girlfriend lived by a D...
And so, I used to go there and use the shitters, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
And so, I used to go there and use the shitters,
I'll shit outside, son, like one of God's boys. Turn up. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I'll shit outside, son, like one of God's boys. Tu...
No offense, hos. Just trying to meet a good lady. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
No offense, hos. Just trying to meet a good lady.
It's tough, you gotta have money these days to get a woman. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
It's tough, you gotta have money these days to get a wo...
You get done banging, you're just laying there all poor. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
You get done banging, you're just laying there all poor...
"Can I get you a towel that won't match any of the other towels? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
"Can I get you a towel that won't match any of the...
Some chips, baby. Wanna calorie up after that bang, wildcat?" - Theo Von: No Offense 00:12
Some chips, baby. Wanna calorie up after that bang, wildcat?...
I don't have nice shit. I got the other shit. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I don't have nice shit. I got the other shit.
This is how I cheat, I put all my nicest stuff right by the door, right? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
This is how I cheat, I put all my nicest stuff right by the ...
"Yeah, just step over that new toaster! - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
"Yeah, just step over that new toaster!
Just set your purse by that Sopranos box set. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Just set your purse by that Sopranos box set.
Haters welcome." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
Haters welcome."