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Like, a way that people don't open doors
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Theo Von: No Offense

Like, a way that peopledon't open doors

Like, a way that people
don't open doors

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.628
Like, a way that people don't open doors.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
17
Timestamp in Movie
00:39:13
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Known for always saying the unexpected and telling it like it is, even at the expense of offending, Louisiana comedian Theo Von returns home to film his first stand-up comedy special for Netflix at the Civic Theater in New Orleans.
He looks at me like, "That ain't how people open doors." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:11
He looks at me like, "That ain't how people open d...
"Ha-ha." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
"Ha-ha."
"Ha-ha." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:10
"Ha-ha."
You don't even hear it at first. You just feel the laughter on your skin. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
You don't even hear it at first. You just feel the laug...
When you finally hear his laugh, I mean, it just... - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
When you finally hear his laugh, I mean, it just...
It sounds like a million babies eating cookies at the same time. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
It sounds like a million babies eating cookies at the same t...
Right when I heard his laugh, crop circles formed in my hair. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
Right when I heard his laugh, crop circles formed in my hair...
And memories of making love to a hundred women I never even met - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
And memories of making love to a hundred women I never even ...
Mi corazón. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
Mi corazón.
People are going in and out. I'm just reduced to a concierge by this man. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
People are going in and out. I'm just reduced to a conc...
This lady comes runnin' up, this straight-up street beast, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:12
This lady comes runnin' up, this straight-up street bea...
Thank you. Thank you. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
Thank you. Thank you.
And the third time I was gay was just a general time. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
And the third time I was gay was just a general time.
When I was younger we used to play a game called "gay chicken." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
When I was younger we used to play a game called "gay c...
Homosexualis con pollo. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:12
Homosexualis con pollo.
So you got to play offense and defense, bro. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
So you got to play offense and defense, bro.
The worst is when you start catching their pulse a little. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
The worst is when you start catching their pulse a little.
"Why you pump faking, homie? You pump faking." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:10
"Why you pump faking, homie? You pump faking."
And you can't play with a Asian guy, 'cause you can't... - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
And you can't play with a Asian guy, 'cause you ca...
That's a different game, that's called "broken promises." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
That's a different game, that's called "broke...