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Mi corazón
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Theo Von: No Offense

Mi corazón. So I'm just standing thereagainst this door, right?

Mi corazón. So I'm just standing there
against this door, right?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.585
Mi corazón.
00:00:02.668 --> 00:00:05.629
So I'm just standing there against this door, right?
Duration
7 seconds
Views
27
Timestamp in Movie
00:40:13
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Known for always saying the unexpected and telling it like it is, even at the expense of offending, Louisiana comedian Theo Von returns home to film his first stand-up comedy special for Netflix at the Civic Theater in New Orleans.
People are going in and out. I'm just reduced to a concierge by this man. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
People are going in and out. I'm just reduced to a conc...
This lady comes runnin' up, this straight-up street beast, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:12
This lady comes runnin' up, this straight-up street bea...
Thank you. Thank you. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
Thank you. Thank you.
And the third time I was gay was just a general time. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
And the third time I was gay was just a general time.
When I was younger we used to play a game called "gay chicken." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
When I was younger we used to play a game called "gay c...
Homosexualis con pollo. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:12
Homosexualis con pollo.
So you got to play offense and defense, bro. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
So you got to play offense and defense, bro.
The worst is when you start catching their pulse a little. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
The worst is when you start catching their pulse a little.
"Why you pump faking, homie? You pump faking." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:10
"Why you pump faking, homie? You pump faking."
And you can't play with a Asian guy, 'cause you can't... - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
And you can't play with a Asian guy, 'cause you ca...
That's a different game, that's called "broken promises." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
That's a different game, that's called "broke...
I was 11-7 in '92 actually. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I was 11-7 in '92 actually.
I was having a tough time meeting a good gal, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:16
I was having a tough time meeting a good gal,
And I'm just waiting for this girl, and then finally I see this girl. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
And I'm just waiting for this girl, and then finally I ...
I'm like, "Oh, man, I could've met this bitch myself." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:11
I'm like, "Oh, man, I could've met this bitch...
She been on a new TV show called Bear Beatings. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:19
She been on a new TV show called Bear Beatings.
I look like Patrick Swayze and Shrek had a son. Okay? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
I look like Patrick Swayze and Shrek had a son. Okay?
♪ You're a mean one, Jason Bourne ♪ - Theo Von: No Offense 00:10
♪ You're a mean one, Jason Bourne ♪
I can make that joke 'cause I actually beat Down Syndrome in 1991. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I can make that joke 'cause I actually beat Down Syndro...
Amen. That's where I'm from, dude. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
Amen. That's where I'm from, dude.