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My buddy Sherman's like,
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Theo Von: No Offense

My buddy Sherman's like,"What's wrong?" I'm like, "This bitch!" He's like, "Who?"I'm like,...

My buddy Sherman's like,
"What's wrong?" I'm like, "This bitch!" He's like, "Who?"
I'm like, "I don't know!

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.021
My buddy Sherman's like, "What's wrong?"
00:00:03.294 --> 00:00:04.503
I'm like, "This bitch!"
00:00:04.586 --> 00:00:07.214
He's like, "Who?" I'm like, "I don't know!
Duration
8 seconds
Views
23
Timestamp in Movie
00:15:17
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Known for always saying the unexpected and telling it like it is, even at the expense of offending, Louisiana comedian Theo Von returns home to film his first stand-up comedy special for Netflix at the Civic Theater in New Orleans.
She's a skydiver. Let's wait for her ass." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:11
She's a skydiver. Let's wait for her ass."
Wait till you feel 'bitch' in the air. That's probably her!" - Theo Von: No Offense 00:13
Wait till you feel 'bitch' in the air. That's...
You just gon' keep stressing till you pop, huh? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
You just gon' keep stressing till you pop, huh?
But, yeah, it's hard, man, it's hard to relax. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
But, yeah, it's hard, man, it's hard to relax.
I tried the marijuanas. I know a lot of people's on the marijuanas. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I tried the marijuanas. I know a lot of people's on the...
It's like my whole head turns into a haunted house. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
It's like my whole head turns into a haunted house.
This shit's strong, man." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
This shit's strong, man."
I don't know if you've been to this deal. Okay? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I don't know if you've been to this deal. Okay?
It's like fuckin', but by yourself, real slowly. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
It's like fuckin', but by yourself, real slowly.
And it's awkward 'cause all the ladies in there - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
And it's awkward 'cause all the ladies in there
Put a little powder in your pants before you go in there. Starch up! - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Put a little powder in your pants before you go in there. St...
What, you hide an armpit in your crotch? Get your life together! - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
What, you hide an armpit in your crotch? Get your life toget...
What if I went around just frothing at the balls all day - Theo Von: No Offense 00:09
What if I went around just frothing at the balls all day
"Get back there, buddy. Get back there." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
"Get back there, buddy. Get back there."
They need to quit marketing yoga to dudes. Yoga ain't for dudes. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
They need to quit marketing yoga to dudes. Yoga ain't f...
"Hey, bro, want to do a bunch of shit you couldn't do?" - Theo Von: No Offense 00:13
"Hey, bro, want to do a bunch of shit you couldn't...
That's why God put 'em down there, so I wouldn't be messing with 'em, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
That's why God put 'em down there, so I wouldn...
If my grandfather walked in on six of his friends stretching at the same time, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
If my grandfather walked in on six of his friends stretching...
"You men are stretching and don't even know each other's names! - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
"You men are stretching and don't even know each o...
Then they have some guy who works in the yoga studio. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Then they have some guy who works in the yoga studio.