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Operation Desert Dumb Ass. Now put on an acceptable pattern
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Theo Von: No Offense

Operation Desert Dumb Ass.Now put on an acceptable pattern, or get the fuck out

Operation Desert Dumb Ass.
Now put on an acceptable pattern, or get the fuck out

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.017
Operation Desert Dumb Ass. Now put on an acceptable pattern,
00:00:04.254 --> 00:00:05.838
or get the fuck out.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
18
Timestamp in Movie
01:03:45
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Known for always saying the unexpected and telling it like it is, even at the expense of offending, Louisiana comedian Theo Von returns home to film his first stand-up comedy special for Netflix at the Civic Theater in New Orleans.
If you wear sunglasses while you work out at the gym, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
If you wear sunglasses while you work out at the gym,
You look like a blind person that's good at shit. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
You look like a blind person that's good at shit.
Only two men ever looked good in sweat and sunglasses, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:09
Only two men ever looked good in sweat and sunglasses,
So why don't you snap into a slim piece of advice and get the fuck out? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
So why don't you snap into a slim piece of advice and g...
If you sleep with the TV on, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
If you sleep with the TV on,
I don't know, probably because you sleep with the TV on! - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I don't know, probably because you sleep with the TV on...
Asian people who are driving, no more driving. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Asian people who are driving, no more driving.
I know it's cliché, but the trial period has to be over, man. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
I know it's cliché, but the trial period has to be over...
I don't Cirque du Soleil 'cause I can't Cirque du Soleil. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
I don't Cirque du Soleil 'cause I can't Cirqu...
So park it, Asians, and invent the hoverboard I know you know how to make - Theo Von: No Offense 00:09
So park it, Asians, and invent the hoverboard I know you kno...
Thick people that's hoggin' all the wheelchairs at the airport. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Thick people that's hoggin' all the wheelchairs at...
And I ain't sayin' it's sistas, but I ain't sayin' it ain't. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
And I ain't sayin' it's sistas, but I ain...
Disabled Staff Sergent So-and-So, who lost his legs in Afghanistan, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:11
Disabled Staff Sergent So-and-So, who lost his legs in Afgha...
Park it and walk if off, Loqshwanda, or get out. Okay? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Park it and walk if off, Loqshwanda, or get out. Okay?
Nobody likes you guys, man. Sorry to be the messenger. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Nobody likes you guys, man. Sorry to be the messenger.
If you guys were offended by anything I said tonight, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
If you guys were offended by anything I said tonight,
I'm Theo Von, thank you guys very much for comin' out tonight. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I'm Theo Von, thank you guys very much for comin' ...
[applause] - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
[applause]