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Start at the roots, work your way up. Help each other out, ladies
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Theo Von: No Offense

Start at the roots, work your way up.Help each other out, ladies

Start at the roots, work your way up.
Help each other out, ladies

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.963
Start at the roots, work your way up. Help each other out, ladies.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
20
Timestamp in Movie
00:46:04
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Known for always saying the unexpected and telling it like it is, even at the expense of offending, Louisiana comedian Theo Von returns home to film his first stand-up comedy special for Netflix at the Civic Theater in New Orleans.
This girl had a big head on her, too. She real, real, real extra-headed. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
This girl had a big head on her, too. She real, real, real e...
She was real extra-headed, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
She was real extra-headed,
Like the Lord had taken her regular head off - Theo Von: No Offense 00:09
Like the Lord had taken her regular head off
Can't even lift his beautiful little bitty big-ass head. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Can't even lift his beautiful little bitty big-ass head...
He gotta learn to crawl side to side, around it. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
He gotta learn to crawl side to side, around it.
Don't hook somebody up with the same shit they already have. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
Don't hook somebody up with the same shit they already ...
If you got a one-legged friend, don't hook him up with another one-legged friend. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
If you got a one-legged friend, don't hook him up with ...
They're just gonna lean against each other somewhere where it's level? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
They're just gonna lean against each other somewhere wh...
Fuck no, man! Two people need at least three legs! - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Fuck no, man! Two people need at least three legs!
Look at a leg chart, you animals! - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Look at a leg chart, you animals!
And ladies, if you got a big head, work your head out. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
And ladies, if you got a big head, work your head out.
Put on some head Spanx. Spank your head up. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
Put on some head Spanx. Spank your head up.
I don't know if you guys know what a Spanx are, it's a special suit - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
I don't know if you guys know what a Spanx are, it'...
It pushes all their body into their shoes, okay? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
It pushes all their body into their shoes, okay?
I call it "cramouflage." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:11
I call it "cramouflage."
Like-- [boat-like sounds] - Theo Von: No Offense 00:14
Like-- [boat-like sounds]
Look like a sweet little vase you wanna put all your dick flowers in. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Look like a sweet little vase you wanna put all your dick fl...
Then you get her home, you crack off these Spanx, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
Then you get her home, you crack off these Spanx,
Like-- [popping] - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
Like-- [popping]
Like, "I-I'm just gonna jerk off in the can. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
Like, "I-I'm just gonna jerk off in the can.