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Theo Von: No Offense

Thank you." Fuckin' hate Denny's, man

Thank you." Fuckin' hate Denny's, man

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.989
Thank you."
00:00:02.084 --> 00:00:05.996
Fuckin' hate Denny's, man.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
19
Timestamp in Movie
00:10:10
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Known for always saying the unexpected and telling it like it is, even at the expense of offending, Louisiana comedian Theo Von returns home to film his first stand-up comedy special for Netflix at the Civic Theater in New Orleans.
Oh, I don't know why it just makes me so mad. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
Oh, I don't know why it just makes me so mad.
I gotta quit going, man. I'm gonna quit. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I gotta quit going, man. I'm gonna quit.
I used to go a lot 'cause my ex-girlfriend lived by a Denny's, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
I used to go a lot 'cause my ex-girlfriend lived by a D...
And so, I used to go there and use the shitters, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
And so, I used to go there and use the shitters,
I'll shit outside, son, like one of God's boys. Turn up. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I'll shit outside, son, like one of God's boys. Tu...
No offense, hos. Just trying to meet a good lady. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
No offense, hos. Just trying to meet a good lady.
It's tough, you gotta have money these days to get a woman. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
It's tough, you gotta have money these days to get a wo...
You get done banging, you're just laying there all poor. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
You get done banging, you're just laying there all poor...
"Can I get you a towel that won't match any of the other towels? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
"Can I get you a towel that won't match any of the...
Some chips, baby. Wanna calorie up after that bang, wildcat?" - Theo Von: No Offense 00:12
Some chips, baby. Wanna calorie up after that bang, wildcat?...
I don't have nice shit. I got the other shit. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I don't have nice shit. I got the other shit.
This is how I cheat, I put all my nicest stuff right by the door, right? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
This is how I cheat, I put all my nicest stuff right by the ...
"Yeah, just step over that new toaster! - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
"Yeah, just step over that new toaster!
Just set your purse by that Sopranos box set. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Just set your purse by that Sopranos box set.
Haters welcome." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
Haters welcome."
I have that car where you act like you don't remember where you parked, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
I have that car where you act like you don't remember w...
And when nobody's looking, you fuckin' get in and you escape. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
And when nobody's looking, you fuckin' get in and ...
They're like, "They're renting '97 Accords to people?" - Theo Von: No Offense 00:12
They're like, "They're renting '97 Accor...
Yeah, every time I floor it, a blind boy can see four seconds. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Yeah, every time I floor it, a blind boy can see four second...
So, I get a lot of speeding tickets, you know, for his little dark ass." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:11
So, I get a lot of speeding tickets, you know, for his littl...