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There ain't much you can do when you got a DS fella
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Theo Von: No Offense

There ain't much you can dowhen you got a DS fella spraying off against animals

There ain't much you can do
when you got a DS fella spraying off against animals

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.252
There ain't much you can do when you got a DS fella
00:00:03.335 --> 00:00:05.545
spraying off against animals.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
19
Timestamp in Movie
00:44:00
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Known for always saying the unexpected and telling it like it is, even at the expense of offending, Louisiana comedian Theo Von returns home to film his first stand-up comedy special for Netflix at the Civic Theater in New Orleans.
What was I talking about? Oh, the girl on the date. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
What was I talking about? Oh, the girl on the date.
I'm old-fashioned, I like more of a localized face. You know, just... - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
I'm old-fashioned, I like more of a localized face. You...
Just holdin' a little meetin' by your nose, you know. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Just holdin' a little meetin' by your nose, you kn...
Her eyes were just real far apart, you know, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
Her eyes were just real far apart, you know,
The last second, the Lord just went "tink" with one of her eyes. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
The last second, the Lord just went "tink" with on...
The whole time I'm talking to her, I don't know which eye to look into. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
The whole time I'm talking to her, I don't know wh...
I'll just look back and forth into each eye, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
I'll just look back and forth into each eye,
Was your daddy a salmon?" - Theo Von: No Offense 00:14
Was your daddy a salmon?"
Kill 'em!" - Theo Von: No Offense 00:09
Kill 'em!"
Come on, Jannie, you're talking booty." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
Come on, Jannie, you're talking booty."
Ladies, if your friend have strong breath, you have a responsibility. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
Ladies, if your friend have strong breath, you have a respon...
Run by your friend, throw them at her face like that. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Run by your friend, throw them at her face like that.
Or be more secretive about it, like that. Okay? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Or be more secretive about it, like that. Okay?
Or get a syringe full of peppermint, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
Or get a syringe full of peppermint,
Start at the roots, work your way up. Help each other out, ladies. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Start at the roots, work your way up. Help each other out, l...
This girl had a big head on her, too. She real, real, real extra-headed. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
This girl had a big head on her, too. She real, real, real e...
She was real extra-headed, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
She was real extra-headed,
Like the Lord had taken her regular head off - Theo Von: No Offense 00:09
Like the Lord had taken her regular head off
Can't even lift his beautiful little bitty big-ass head. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Can't even lift his beautiful little bitty big-ass head...
He gotta learn to crawl side to side, around it. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
He gotta learn to crawl side to side, around it.