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This shit's strong, man.
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Theo Von: No Offense

This shit's strong, man." Then I tried yoga.I don't know if you've been to yoga

This shit's strong, man." Then I tried yoga.
I don't know if you've been to yoga

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.461
This shit's strong, man."
00:00:04.295 --> 00:00:07.131
Then I tried yoga. I don't know if you've been to yoga.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
32
Timestamp in Movie
00:16:43
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Known for always saying the unexpected and telling it like it is, even at the expense of offending, Louisiana comedian Theo Von returns home to film his first stand-up comedy special for Netflix at the Civic Theater in New Orleans.
I don't know if you've been to this deal. Okay? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I don't know if you've been to this deal. Okay?
It's like fuckin', but by yourself, real slowly. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
It's like fuckin', but by yourself, real slowly.
And it's awkward 'cause all the ladies in there - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
And it's awkward 'cause all the ladies in there
Put a little powder in your pants before you go in there. Starch up! - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Put a little powder in your pants before you go in there. St...
What, you hide an armpit in your crotch? Get your life together! - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
What, you hide an armpit in your crotch? Get your life toget...
What if I went around just frothing at the balls all day - Theo Von: No Offense 00:09
What if I went around just frothing at the balls all day
"Get back there, buddy. Get back there." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
"Get back there, buddy. Get back there."
They need to quit marketing yoga to dudes. Yoga ain't for dudes. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
They need to quit marketing yoga to dudes. Yoga ain't f...
"Hey, bro, want to do a bunch of shit you couldn't do?" - Theo Von: No Offense 00:13
"Hey, bro, want to do a bunch of shit you couldn't...
That's why God put 'em down there, so I wouldn't be messing with 'em, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
That's why God put 'em down there, so I wouldn...
If my grandfather walked in on six of his friends stretching at the same time, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
If my grandfather walked in on six of his friends stretching...
"You men are stretching and don't even know each other's names! - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
"You men are stretching and don't even know each o...
Then they have some guy who works in the yoga studio. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Then they have some guy who works in the yoga studio.
He looks like he got fired from a Renaissance fair. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
He looks like he got fired from a Renaissance fair.
He's like, "You're doing a great job." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:10
He's like, "You're doing a great job."
Don't make me make this one of 'em." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
Don't make me make this one of 'em."
It's called "Simon Says Don't Fart." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
It's called "Simon Says Don't Fart."
It lasts three minutes. Every man farts, admits to it, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:12
It lasts three minutes. Every man farts, admits to it,
I just hate it. I just don't-- - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
I just hate it. I just don't--
Can you believe we're still fartin'? We're farters. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
Can you believe we're still fartin'? We're fa...